Defeated… …AGAIN!

Why Me?!

😦

I Don’t Honestly Know Any Other Way To Say It, My Peeps.

I’ve Tried.

But, In The End, I Continue To Come back To Those Two Simple…

…Personally Scathing…

…Personally Crushing Words…

Why Me?!

😦          😦

Why Say “Why Me?!” You Ask???

I Don’t Actually Have An Answer For You.

Not A Good Answer, Anyway.

I Know We Haven’t Talked Much Of Late, But I’m Sure You’ve Already Noticed That.

My “Good Cheer”?!

It’s Gone.

I’m Back Down, Again.

I’m Discovering That My Emotions Are Rather Fragile.

More Fragile Than Even I Had Ever Realized.

Like, Ever Ever.

That’s Probably Because I’ve Spent The Bulk Of My Life Suppressing Them.

As I Slowly Let Them Out, I’m Forced To Realize More And More Why I Had Always Shielded Myself From Them.

To Be Perfectly Honest…

…I Sincerely SUCK At Managing Them.

Period.

I Will Say This, My Peeps…

…I’d Hand-Written A Very Loooooong-Winded Rant About What’s Been Happening Of Late…

…But, Now, I Sincerely Don’t Want To Discuss It All Right Here.

I Made A Promise Not To Write About My Current Love Life…

…Or LACK-THERE-OF…

…And I Was Honestly About To Break That Promise.

Then, Well, I Actually Took The Time To Think It All Over.

Just Know That Things Are No Longer “Going My Way” And It Has Been Quite Depressing.

I Know Things Will Never ALWAYS Go My Way, But In This Instance It Really Did Just Crack Me Over The Skull And Then Laugh At Me.

Have I Learned Anything From My Life’s Recent Events???

Yes.

Yes, I Have.

  • –>1.) BE VERY VERY CAREFUL WHOM YOU TRUST!<–

  • –>2.) IF SOMETHING FEELS TOO GOOD TO BE HONEST AND TRUE, IT IS!<–

  • –>3.) I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BOTH OF THOSE LESSONS BY NOW, I JUST APPARENTLY HAD FORGOTTEN THEM… …AGAIN!<–

😦          😦          😦

Just Do Me A Solid, My Peeps, And Don’t Worry About Me.

I Know I’ll Rebound Again.

It’s Like The Famous Quotation…

We Are Healed Of A Suffering ONLY By Experiencing It To The Full.”

MARCEL PROUST

He Was A Rather Smart Man, Wouldn’t You Say?!

Yeah.

I Wholeheartedly Agree, My Peeps.

Totally.

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

“You CANNOT Demonstrate An Emotion…”

“…NOR Prove An Aspiration.”

JOHN MORLEY

-={18381923}=-

-=JOURNALIST=-

-=WRITER=-

-=EDITOR=-

-=STATESMAN=-

-=1ST VISCOUNT MORLEY Of BLACKBURN=-

Friends… Bloggers… Countrypersons… Lend Me Your Reading-Glasses!

As Some Of You May Have Noticed…

…I’ve Been In A Sort Of “Creative-Funk” Of Late.

I’ve Had So Much On My Mind…

…So SO Much, In-Fact…

…That I Sincerely Feel My Blog Has Been Suffering For It.

I’ve Felt Kinda Lost.

I’ve Felt Kinda Overwhelmed.

I’ve Felt I Could/Should Be Doing More.

So SO Much More.

It’s October…

…Which Is Usually My Favorite Month Of The Year…

…And I’ve Spent The Bulk Of It Depressed As Shit.

I’m Not Sure What To Make Of It.

I Mean…

…Yeah, I Know I’ve Had Some Dental Issues That Have Curbed My Little Joy-Ride Several Times…

…And I’ve Been Dealing With A Horrid Bout Of Loneliness…

…But Neither Of Those Are Quality Excuses.

Right Now…

…At This Moment In Time…

…I’m Also Dealing With The Reality That My Cat…

MISSY

(aka MYSTIQUE)

…Is Nearing Death.

She’s Been Very Sick For A Couple Weeks…

…And There’s Really Nothing I, Nor Anyone Else, Can Do For Her.

She’s Stopped Eating, Now.

Her Systems Are Shutting-Down.

She Just Wants To Lay Down, Anymore.

She’s Lost Her Will To Live, Or So It Seems, But I Can’t Bring Myself To Have Her Simply “Put-Down” As The Vet Would Say.

I’ve Never Been As Attached To Any Pet As I Have Been Toward Her…

…So That I Do Know Has Added To This “Funk” I’m In.

Things Are Just Starting To Snowball.

My Hair Is Long, Now.

Longer Than It’s Ever Been.

I’m About Halfway Into Having A Full Beard Again.

As Grandma Would Say, I Look Like A “Ragamuffin” Or Something To That Effect.

I Can’t Go On My Mind-Clearing-Walks Because My Feet Have Dried-Out And Split-Open On The Bottoms In Multiple Places (F-in OUCH!).

My Mouth Hurts…

…And There Are More Dental Appointments On The Horizon.

Years And Years Of Puking-My-Guts-Up On A Daily Basis Has Simply DESTROYED My Teeth.

They’re Weak.

They’re Brittle.

They Break Like It’s Nobody’s Business.

They Make Me Horridly Self-Conscious.

Especially In This Day And Age Where Everyone Strives For That Perfect Smile…

…Ya Know…

…The One I Used To Have.

I Really Could Go On And On, But I’ll Digress From That Point.

PUT THIS…

…ALL OF THIS…

…TOGETHER…

…And It Works-Out To A Simple Answer:

October Is Now My LEAST Favorite Month.

Period.

At Least…

…This October Is.

Perhaps Next Year Will Be Better.

I Sincerely Doubt It Will Be Better…

…But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Not HOPING It’ll Be Better.

I Just Need To Find A Way To Snap-Out-Of-It Somehow.

Ya Know Ya Know, My Peeps?!?

I Just Haven’t Yet Figured-Out The SOMEHOW Part.

I Just Know I Have To Have My “A”-Game Grooving By This Time Next Week.

I’m Taking A Weekend Trip To Chicago, Next Weekend.

My BFF Lives There…

…And I Haven’t Seen Him For Nearly THREE (3) Years.

His Brother…

…My Other BFF…

…Is Picking Me Up Friday, And We’re Making The Drive.

I’m Super Stoked About That…

…Though I Admit The Bulk Of My Excitement Is Buried Deep Down Inside Me.

You Know Me…

…It’s Not Easy For Me To Outwardly Show My True Emotional States.

But I DO Promise Y’all I’m Looking Forward To The Trip With Anxious-Anticipation.

I Just Don’t Want To Show-Up On His Doorstep In A Severely Depressed State Of Heart And Mind.

ANYWAY…

…I Think I’m Going To Shut-Up, Now.

No One Likes Reading A Blog Where The Author Just Sits About And Rambles On About His Pathetic-Excuse For A Life.

So I’ll End My Ramble.

Just Please Please PLEASE, My Peeps, Take Good Care Of Yourselves…

…And Take Good Care Of Each-Other.

I’m Sure I’ll Be Back To Ramble With Y’all Again.

Hopefully Very Soon.

L8r L8r, Tater-Tots.

😐