Feeling Brilliant; Feeling Foolish: It Really Is A Fine FINE Line To Travel Upon…

…And Of That There Can Be Little Debate.

Granted, There Are People Whom Can AND Will Debate Anything AND Everything.

To Those People, Honestly, I Say…

“More Power To Ya.”

To The Rest Of Us Whom Teeter-Totter On The Edge OfΒ  The Before Mentioned “Feeling Brilliant” AND “Feeling Foolish” There Really Isn’t Much To Say Other Than…

“It’s Called LIFE. Deal With It. If You Don’t Get One Outcome, You’re ALMOST Assured To Get The Other. It’s Called LIFE.”

2013, Now More Than Half Over, Has Been A Year Filled With BOTH Feelings/Mindsets.

I Do Admit To Having A Few Truly Brilliant Moments, This Year.

True, They May Have Been Situations Where I Was Confident In The Outcome Ahead Of Time AND Was Thus Proved Correct.

But, Honestly, That Feels A Touch Beside The Point.

At Least, For Now. πŸ˜‰

Sadly, However, 2013 Has Felt More And More AND MORE Like A Year Of Foolishness On My Part.

Family Issues.

Friend Issues.

Relationship Issues.

Personal Issues.

You Name It, Chances Are I Can Equate Whatever It Is Into Yet Another Foolish Moment For Yours Truly.

But, And I’m Curious About This In Many Respects, What Truly Is The Fine Line Between “Brilliance” And “Foolishness”???

Sadly, I Keep Coming Back To The Same One-Word Answer…

“SUCCESS”

Period.

If Something Is A Winner, Chances Are You’ll Be Overtly Contented.

You’ll Be Feeling The Wondrous Side Of A Success, Regardless Of What It Is.

You’ll Most Likely Even Feel A Flash Of “Brilliance” Wash Over You.

But…

…What If You Fail???

What If There Is No Real Success In Whatever It Is You’ve Attempted???

You’ll Be Feeling The Vile Side Of A Lost Chance At A Success…

…And Of That, I Sincerely Have No Doubts.

You Won’t Feel Any Waves Of “Brilliance” Afterward.

No, You’ll Be Feeling As I Do Most Of The Time.

You’ll Be Feeling Like A “Fool” And Feeling Listless In Wonder As To Where You Went Wrong.

I Think That’s Why I Love Baseball So Very Very Much.

It Truly Is More About Failure And Loss.

At Least, More So Than Anything Else.

Winning Is WONDERFUL!

Losing SUCKS ASS!

But, You Don’t Learn Much From Winning, Other Than The Elation Of The Actual Win.

You Do, On The Other Hand, Learn So So SO Much More From Defeat.

Now, I Know You’re All Waiting For Me To Divulge Some Of Said “Foolish” Moments, But I Don’t Really Think I Can.

Not Without Getting Myself, Or Others, In Trouble…

…With Someone…

…Somewhere…

…Be They Person, Or Entity.

Honestly, The Moment I’m Going To Briefly Mention Is A Combo Of BOTH “Brilliance” AND “Foolishness” Like You Wouldn’t Believe.

You See, My Peeps My Friends The Kiddies, I’ve Been Living Through A Self-Imposed EXILE For Almost A Month, Now.

It’s Honestly Killing Me.

I’ve Never EVER Felt So Alone In My Life.

Hell, I Spent A Couple Months In Boot-Camp, Which Was About The Loneliest Time In My Life…

…Until Now.

I Feel So Alone Because I’ve Simply Been Toooooooooooooo Damned Embarrassed To Be Around Other People.

Period.

Other Than My Immediate Family, Only ONE PERSON Has Seen Me AND Spent Time With Me While I’m In This Condition.

For Those Of You Whom Don’t Know…

…I FINALLY GOT MY ORAL SURGERY!

I Got It Last Month.

I’m Literally About Two-Weeks Away From Having A Perfect Smile, Again!

I Couldn’t Be Happier About That Part.

It’s The Waiting In-Between PHASE I And PHASE II That’s The Killer.

I Do Feel Brilliant For Finally Pulling The Trigger, Plunking Down The Money I Can’t Afford To Burn In Any Way, And Getting ALL Of My Teeth Fixed.

Trust Me, Kids, Years And Years AND YEARS Of Acid Erosion Can Be Dentally Devastating.

I’m A Living, Breathing Poster-Board For It.

Sadly, I Also Am Feeling Very VERY Foolish.

Foolish Because I Have, More Or Less, Gone Into Total Hiding.

I Don’t Go Anywhere ((save my morning walks)).

I Don’t Meet Other People.

I Stay As Totally Off The Social Grid As Possible.

I’m Sad, Yes.

I’m Lonely, Yes.

I’m Going Out Of My Mind In The Want/Need To Spend Time With Those Other People I Care Deeply For.

But, As Foolish As This Exile Has Been…

…For Me, Personally Personally, It Has Been Bordering On Brilliant.

I’ve Looked Bad In The Past…

…But I Really Don’t Want People Seeing Me At My Absolute Worst.

I’m Far Toooooo Self-Conscious For That.

So, By Adding The Pains Of Loneliness…

…Sadness…

…And Racing Thoughts…

…It Adds Up To A Bit Of The “Foolish Factor” Feeling.

BUT, By Removing The Pains Of Embarrassment…

…And Extreme Paranoia Due To The Overt Self-Conscious Issues…

…I’m Experiencing A Touch Of The Ole “Brilliance Factor” Feeling, Also.

πŸ˜€

Sooooooooooooo…

…What Do You Think?

Am I Just Being Foolish??

Or, Is There Even A Hint Of Brilliance To It???

Do YOU Often Feel Like This????

--Yeah. You. In The Back. Pretending Not To Be Reading Over The Other Person's Shoulder.--

Do YOU Often Feel Like This, My Peeps?????

My Curiosity Abounds!

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜‰Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

Friends… Bloggers… Countrypersons… Lend Me Your Reading-Glasses!

As Some Of You May Have Noticed…

…I’ve Been In A Sort Of “Creative-Funk” Of Late.

I’ve Had So Much On My Mind…

…So SO Much, In-Fact…

…That I Sincerely Feel My Blog Has Been Suffering For It.

I’ve Felt Kinda Lost.

I’ve Felt Kinda Overwhelmed.

I’ve Felt I Could/Should Be Doing More.

So SO Much More.

It’s October…

…Which Is Usually My Favorite Month Of The Year…

…And I’ve Spent The Bulk Of It Depressed As Shit.

I’m Not Sure What To Make Of It.

I Mean…

…Yeah, I Know I’ve Had Some Dental Issues That Have Curbed My Little Joy-Ride Several Times…

…And I’ve Been Dealing With A Horrid Bout Of Loneliness…

…But Neither Of Those Are Quality Excuses.

Right Now…

…At This Moment In Time…

…I’m Also Dealing With The Reality That My Cat…

MISSY

(aka MYSTIQUE)

…Is Nearing Death.

She’s Been Very Sick For A Couple Weeks…

…And There’s Really Nothing I, Nor Anyone Else, Can Do For Her.

She’s Stopped Eating, Now.

Her Systems Are Shutting-Down.

She Just Wants To Lay Down, Anymore.

She’s Lost Her Will To Live, Or So It Seems, But I Can’t Bring Myself To Have Her Simply “Put-Down” As The Vet Would Say.

I’ve Never Been As Attached To Any Pet As I Have Been Toward Her…

…So That I Do Know Has Added To This “Funk” I’m In.

Things Are Just Starting To Snowball.

My Hair Is Long, Now.

Longer Than It’s Ever Been.

I’m About Halfway Into Having A Full Beard Again.

As Grandma Would Say, I Look Like A “Ragamuffin” Or Something To That Effect.

I Can’t Go On My Mind-Clearing-Walks Because My Feet Have Dried-Out And Split-Open On The Bottoms In Multiple Places (F-in OUCH!).

My Mouth Hurts…

…And There Are More Dental Appointments On The Horizon.

Years And Years Of Puking-My-Guts-Up On A Daily Basis Has Simply DESTROYED My Teeth.

They’re Weak.

They’re Brittle.

They Break Like It’s Nobody’s Business.

They Make Me Horridly Self-Conscious.

Especially In This Day And Age Where Everyone Strives For That Perfect Smile…

…Ya Know…

…The One I Used To Have.

I Really Could Go On And On, But I’ll Digress From That Point.

PUT THIS…

…ALL OF THIS…

…TOGETHER…

…And It Works-Out To A Simple Answer:

October Is Now My LEAST Favorite Month.

Period.

At Least…

…This October Is.

Perhaps Next Year Will Be Better.

I Sincerely Doubt It Will Be Better…

…But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Not HOPING It’ll Be Better.

I Just Need To Find A Way To Snap-Out-Of-It Somehow.

Ya Know Ya Know, My Peeps?!?

I Just Haven’t Yet Figured-Out The SOMEHOW Part.

I Just Know I Have To Have My “A”-Game Grooving By This Time Next Week.

I’m Taking A Weekend Trip To Chicago, Next Weekend.

My BFF Lives There…

…And I Haven’t Seen Him For Nearly THREE (3) Years.

His Brother…

…My Other BFF…

…Is Picking Me Up Friday, And We’re Making The Drive.

I’m Super Stoked About That…

…Though I Admit The Bulk Of My Excitement Is Buried Deep Down Inside Me.

You Know Me…

…It’s Not Easy For Me To Outwardly Show My True Emotional States.

But I DO Promise Y’all I’m Looking Forward To The Trip With Anxious-Anticipation.

I Just Don’t Want To Show-Up On His Doorstep In A Severely Depressed State Of Heart And Mind.

ANYWAY…

…I Think I’m Going To Shut-Up, Now.

No One Likes Reading A Blog Where The Author Just Sits About And Rambles On About His Pathetic-Excuse For A Life.

So I’ll End My Ramble.

Just Please Please PLEASE, My Peeps, Take Good Care Of Yourselves…

…And Take Good Care Of Each-Other.

I’m Sure I’ll Be Back To Ramble With Y’all Again.

Hopefully Very Soon.

L8r L8r, Tater-Tots.

😐

As The Veil Of Pain Lifts, I Find That I’m Still In Pain…

It’s Just In A Different Way.

Tooth Pain = GONE! πŸ˜€

Jaw & Gum Pain = HOLY SH*T, THIS HURTS! 😦

But That’s To Be Expected, Right?!

RIGHT!!!

*** *** ***

*** ***

***

Yeah, My Peeps…

…So They Ended-Up Having To CUT The Tooth Out.

😦

The Dentist Got In There To Scope-Out The Situation…

…And He Gave Me An Option.

I Could Either Go For The Ole…

Root-Canal And Crowning

…Or…

…He Could Just…

PULL-THE-BASTARD-OUT

😦

I Hated Both Options.

But…

…In The End…

…Those Were The Two I Was Given.

Sooo…

…We Went With Pulling-The-Bastard-Out.

Needless To Say…

…The Pain The Tooth Itself Was Causing Is No-More.

So That’s GREAT!

πŸ˜€

But Sheesh Does My Mouth Hurt!

😦

The Dentist Started Wrenching The Pesky Molar Out, But It Simply Wasn’t Breaking Free.

He Tried And Tried And Tried…

…But It Was Nothin’ Doin’.

Then He Says To Me…

Brad, I Think We’re Gonna Have To Go To The Next Step. Now, This Won’t Hurt A Bit.

And Then He Added This…

Well, It Shouldn’t Hurt A Bit. But If It Does, Just Raise Your Hand.

And So He Broke-Out The Drill And Went To Scoring The Tooth.

And It DID Hurt.

So…

…I Get Another Dose Of The Numbing-Agent Used…

…And He Goes Back To Work On My Broken Tooth.

The Tooth Ended-Up Being Removed In PIECES.

It Just Wouldn’t Budge.

So He Broke It Apart.

When It Was All Over…

…I Looked Toward The Spot Where I’d Seen Some Of My Tooth Being Placed.

It Looked Like A Little Grenade Had Gone-Off In My Mouth.

The Tooth Was Simply Scattered About On The Little Table.

The Dentist Then Said…

Wow, That One Just Didn’t Wanna Come Out, Did It!?

…To Which I Replied…

At Least It’s OUT!

!!! !!! !!!

πŸ˜€

***

*** ***

*** *** ***

I Really Just Wanna Say THANK YOU, My Peeps.

Thanks For All The Kind Words And Well Wishing.

I Appreciate All Of It GREATLY.

And I’m Sorry I Haven’t Posted Much The Last Couple Days.

My Head Simply Wasn’t In The Game.

Now That The Great Tooth Caper Is Over…

…I’m Confident I’ll Be Back With Y’all On A More Full-Time Type Basis.

Much Love To You All, My Peeps.

And THANK YOU Again!

πŸ™‚

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β  πŸ™‚Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

When The Pain Gets Bad Enough, It’s Time For The Ole E.R. :(

And So…

…I Went There.

I. HATE. EMERGENCY. ROOMS.

Period.

I Was Simply In Too Much Agony To Avoid It.

😦

The Doctor I Ended-Up Seeing Was Very Sympathetic To My Plight.

I Suppose He’s Broken Teeth Before, At Some Point.

One Really Has No Idea How Bad It Hurts Until It Happens To Them.

I’m A Fairly Tough Guy.

I Don’t Let Much Of Anything Get To Me.

But When I’m In Pain Beyond My Limits Of Personal Tolerance

…Yeah…

It’s Time For The E.R.

It Turned-Out To Be The Fastest E.R. Trip I’ve EVER Gone Through.

They Had Me In And Out.

One Hour After I Signed In, I Was Headed Home.

Swift Service, Fo SHO, Kiddies.

And Now…

…I’m On Pain Meds Through Tuesday.

Blah.

I Hate Pills.

BUT…

…When They’re What You’ve Got To Handle Whatever You’re Dealing With…

…I Say Go For It.

I Think It’s Time For A Nap, Though.

I’m Utterly EXHAUSTED.

T’Was An Early Morning…

…And I’m Already Starting To Fade-Out.

I Sincerely Hope Y’all Are Okie The Dokie AND Coolio.

Please Be Good

Take Care

See Me Soon

And

Talk To Me Sooner!

Much Love To Ya, My Peeps!

πŸ˜€

Ever Break A Tooth On A Friday, After Everything Is Closed, And Can’t Even Speak To Your Dentist Until Tuesday Morning?!

MEEE TOOO, My Peeps.

MEEE TOOO, Indeed.

And It Sucks.

It Really…

REALLY F-IN SUCKS!

Why Must Things Always Work-Out For Me In Such A Manner?

I Know My Karma Is Bad…

…My Luck Is Bad…

…My Bad Luck Is Bad…

…I’m Simply The Poster-Child For All Things BAD.

And…

…Of Course…

…There’s Nothing I Can Do About It.

I’m Stuck.

Trapped.

Held Tightly In The Grip Of Things Of Which I Have No Control Over.

ARRRGH!!!

And I’m In Pain.

Lots…

And LOTS Of Pain.

Damned Tooth.

So I Break The Bastard Friday Afternoon…

…The Dentist Is Closed Saturday And Sunday…

…And This Coming Monday IS…

…Yep…

A Frickin’ Frackin’ HOLIDAY!

😦

So I’m Right.

I. Am. Stuck.

Period.

Nowhere To Go.

No-One To See.

Just Me

My Broken Tooth

And My Pain.

:*(

What A Fun Weekend This Is Going To Be, Eh?!

EH?!?!

Yeah.

Fun Indeed.

I Woke-Up In A Bad’ish Mood…

…And NOW I’m Locked Into A Dreadful Mood Mode.

And It’s Not My Fault.

I Blame The Flippin’ Macadamia-Nut I Chomped Onto To Break The Damned Tooth In The First Place.

Looks Like Young Bradley Is Going To Be Making A Trip To The E.R. Before The Weekend Is Over.

:*(

I Hate That Place, Also.

Spend Hours And Hours Waiting Around…

…All To Spend 30-Seconds With A Doctor Who Doesn’t Honestly Give A Shit In The First Place.

Nice, Eh?!

Nice, Indeed.

😦

Here’s To The Beginning Of A Dreadful Weekend.

(*clinks glass with self*)

Let Us Hope For Something Better…

…But Continue To Expect The Worst.

Then We’re Either Right…

…Or Pleasantly Surprised.

I’d Call That A Win Win…

…But Either Way It Goes I Don’t Think A Win Is Possible.

As They Say…

GOOD GRIEF!”

😐