“…There’s No Way To Conceive The Right Plans In My Head… …I Just Can’t Hold Them Down…” ((“6AM” by FITZ And THE TANTRUMS))

…

“…All My Hopes…

…They Stay Curled In–Between These Four Walls…

…And I Can‘t Shake Them Out…”

…

“…It‘s 6 In The Morning…

…I‘m Still Awake…

…My Sleepless Heart Is Torn–Up, Babe…

…Our Love Song‘s On The Radio…

…But These Words I Hear…

…They‘re Not For Me…

…No…

…6 In The Morning…

…I‘m Still Awake…

…My Sleepless Heart Is Torn–Up, Babe…

…Our Love Song‘s On The Radio…

…But These Words I Hear…

…They‘re Not For Me…

…No…”

…

“…I‘m Tryin‘ To Keep Up…

…Tryin‘ To Move On…

…Beyond This Pain…

…Before I Break. …”

…

…

\\\///

\\//

\/

Well, Kiddies, this song…

“6AM“

by FITZ And THE TANTRUMS

…has very quickly become my new favorite jam of the past year.

I’ve been a huge fan of FITZ And THE TANTRUMS for the past couple of years…

…and coming-up very soon I’ll be seeing them LIVE in concert!!!

They’ll be playing THE PAGEANT in good ole St. Louis, MO.

I’ve already got my tickets ordered, and am just waiting for them to arrive in the mail.

I’m very Very VERY EXCITED, to say the very Very VERY LEAST!

😀

This album…

“MORE THAN JUST A DREAM“

…is just as good, if not better, than their previous work.

And this song…

“6AM“

…is by far Far FAR MY Favorite!!!

I do hope y’all enjoy hearing it.

If you do, let me know.

If you don’t, let me know.

If you’re indifferent?

Hmm.

Eh, sure, let me know.

😉

I know I don’t put-out a ton of original work anymore, but I’ve been so highly addicted to this jam I just had Had HAD to share it with you, My Peeps!

Y’all take care.

Be Good…

…OR…

…Be Good At It.

Feeling Brilliant; Feeling Foolish: It Really Is A Fine FINE Line To Travel Upon…

…And Of That There Can Be Little Debate.

Granted, There Are People Whom Can AND Will Debate Anything AND Everything.

To Those People, Honestly, I Say…

“More Power To Ya.”

To The Rest Of Us Whom Teeter-Totter On The Edge Of  The Before Mentioned “Feeling Brilliant” AND “Feeling Foolish” There Really Isn’t Much To Say Other Than…

“It’s Called LIFE. Deal With It. If You Don’t Get One Outcome, You’re ALMOST Assured To Get The Other. It’s Called LIFE.”

2013, Now More Than Half Over, Has Been A Year Filled With BOTH Feelings/Mindsets.

I Do Admit To Having A Few Truly Brilliant Moments, This Year.

True, They May Have Been Situations Where I Was Confident In The Outcome Ahead Of Time AND Was Thus Proved Correct.

But, Honestly, That Feels A Touch Beside The Point.

At Least, For Now. 😉

Sadly, However, 2013 Has Felt More And More AND MORE Like A Year Of Foolishness On My Part.

Family Issues.

Friend Issues.

Relationship Issues.

Personal Issues.

You Name It, Chances Are I Can Equate Whatever It Is Into Yet Another Foolish Moment For Yours Truly.

But, And I’m Curious About This In Many Respects, What Truly Is The Fine Line Between “Brilliance” And “Foolishness”???

Sadly, I Keep Coming Back To The Same One-Word Answer…

“SUCCESS”

Period.

If Something Is A Winner, Chances Are You’ll Be Overtly Contented.

You’ll Be Feeling The Wondrous Side Of A Success, Regardless Of What It Is.

You’ll Most Likely Even Feel A Flash Of “Brilliance” Wash Over You.

But…

…What If You Fail???

What If There Is No Real Success In Whatever It Is You’ve Attempted???

You’ll Be Feeling The Vile Side Of A Lost Chance At A Success…

…And Of That, I Sincerely Have No Doubts.

You Won’t Feel Any Waves Of “Brilliance” Afterward.

No, You’ll Be Feeling As I Do Most Of The Time.

You’ll Be Feeling Like A “Fool” And Feeling Listless In Wonder As To Where You Went Wrong.

I Think That’s Why I Love Baseball So Very Very Much.

It Truly Is More About Failure And Loss.

At Least, More So Than Anything Else.

Winning Is WONDERFUL!

Losing SUCKS ASS!

But, You Don’t Learn Much From Winning, Other Than The Elation Of The Actual Win.

You Do, On The Other Hand, Learn So So SO Much More From Defeat.

Now, I Know You’re All Waiting For Me To Divulge Some Of Said “Foolish” Moments, But I Don’t Really Think I Can.

Not Without Getting Myself, Or Others, In Trouble…

…With Someone…

…Somewhere…

…Be They Person, Or Entity.

Honestly, The Moment I’m Going To Briefly Mention Is A Combo Of BOTH “Brilliance” AND “Foolishness” Like You Wouldn’t Believe.

You See, My Peeps My Friends The Kiddies, I’ve Been Living Through A Self-Imposed EXILE For Almost A Month, Now.

It’s Honestly Killing Me.

I’ve Never EVER Felt So Alone In My Life.

Hell, I Spent A Couple Months In Boot-Camp, Which Was About The Loneliest Time In My Life…

…Until Now.

I Feel So Alone Because I’ve Simply Been Toooooooooooooo Damned Embarrassed To Be Around Other People.

Period.

Other Than My Immediate Family, Only ONE PERSON Has Seen Me AND Spent Time With Me While I’m In This Condition.

For Those Of You Whom Don’t Know…

…I FINALLY GOT MY ORAL SURGERY!

I Got It Last Month.

I’m Literally About Two-Weeks Away From Having A Perfect Smile, Again!

I Couldn’t Be Happier About That Part.

It’s The Waiting In-Between PHASE I And PHASE II That’s The Killer.

I Do Feel Brilliant For Finally Pulling The Trigger, Plunking Down The Money I Can’t Afford To Burn In Any Way, And Getting ALL Of My Teeth Fixed.

Trust Me, Kids, Years And Years AND YEARS Of Acid Erosion Can Be Dentally Devastating.

I’m A Living, Breathing Poster-Board For It.

Sadly, I Also Am Feeling Very VERY Foolish.

Foolish Because I Have, More Or Less, Gone Into Total Hiding.

I Don’t Go Anywhere ((save my morning walks)).

I Don’t Meet Other People.

I Stay As Totally Off The Social Grid As Possible.

I’m Sad, Yes.

I’m Lonely, Yes.

I’m Going Out Of My Mind In The Want/Need To Spend Time With Those Other People I Care Deeply For.

But, As Foolish As This Exile Has Been…

…For Me, Personally Personally, It Has Been Bordering On Brilliant.

I’ve Looked Bad In The Past…

…But I Really Don’t Want People Seeing Me At My Absolute Worst.

I’m Far Toooooo Self-Conscious For That.

So, By Adding The Pains Of Loneliness…

…Sadness…

…And Racing Thoughts…

…It Adds Up To A Bit Of The “Foolish Factor” Feeling.

BUT, By Removing The Pains Of Embarrassment…

…And Extreme Paranoia Due To The Overt Self-Conscious Issues…

…I’m Experiencing A Touch Of The Ole “Brilliance Factor” Feeling, Also.

😀

Sooooooooooooo…

…What Do You Think?

Am I Just Being Foolish??

Or, Is There Even A Hint Of Brilliance To It???

Do YOU Often Feel Like This????

--Yeah. You. In The Back. Pretending Not To Be Reading Over The Other Person's Shoulder.--

Do YOU Often Feel Like This, My Peeps?????

My Curiosity Abounds!

😀       😉       😀

How’s This For Logic?

“I‘m In The Throws Of A Writing Slump, While Already In The Midst Of A Writing Revelation.”

…

“I Know Exactly What I Want To Say, But I‘m Struggling To Find The Words To Express It.”

…

“Things Are So Muddled, Yet They‘ve Never Been Clearer.”

…

“I‘d Say I Don‘t Know What To Say, Except That I‘ve Already Said It.”

…

“That‘s Where I‘m At, Which Could Be Nowhere At All, Yet Could Be Everywhere I Need To Be.”

Multipurpose-Post: The State Of My Union, Part I

Good Morning, My Peeps.

How’s Things?

All Swell In Your Worlds?

Honestly, Things Have Been A Bit Odd Of Late Within My Own.

I’ve Been Going Through A Bout Of Some Pretty Extreme Personal-Depression That Has Been Sapping And Corking My Creative Juices.  It Happens To Us All At Some Point, Or At Least Happens To Those Of Us Intelligent Enough To Understand Our Own Situations.

My Life Situation Just Plainly Sucks.

Period.

I’m Trying To Take The High-Road. I’m Trying To Keep My Head Above The Water I Seem To Endlessly Be Treading. I’m Trying To Carry-On In The Only Way I Know How.

I Just Haven’t Felt Like Writing.

Not. At. All.

As I Said To Someone Earlier…

“…I pick-up my pen, I put it to the paper, but nothing comes out. I’ve just been so caught-up in personal emotional BS that everything else has taken a back seat, so to speak. I know I’ll find my voice again… …it’s just not at this moment.”

And Then It Happened, My Peeps.

I Awoke This Morning, And The First Thing I Wanted To Do Was Sit Down And Start Writing.

So, Here I Am. Writing To Y’all, Hoping Things Come-Out Right.

I Truly Have A Ton To Say, Yet Know I Can’t Say Most Of It.

Not Yet, Anyway.

Why?

Because, I Don’t Rightly Know How Some Things Are Going To Play-Out.

It’s Hard To Write About Something When All The Facts Aren’t In.

I Just Know I’m Unhappy.

Honestly, Truly Unhappy.

Not In Every Aspect Of My Life, But In Enough Of Them To Cause All Of This Mental/Emotional BS.

Life Continues To Throw Me Curveball After Curveball, And I’m Really Starting To Get Sick Of It.

Sadly, There’s Nothing I Can Do About That Other Than Continue To Take It All.

But, Changes Are Coming.

Things Are Happening.

While My Personal-Opinion Of Myself May Not Be Very High At The Moment, I’m Starting To Figure My Shit Out.

I’m On The Verge Of A Major Break-Out, Or So It Feels.

While Some Might Crack Under So Much Personal Pressure, I’m Fighting Back.

I’m Fighting Back Hard, My Peeps.

Life Is Giving Me Both Barrels, And I’m Doing Everything I Can To Give ‘Em Right Back.

What Else Can I/Could I Do, My Peeps?!

I’m Not Going To Lay Down And Die.

I’m Not Going To Let The World Rape Me, And Take Away What Little I Do Have.

I’m Not Going To Stop Fighting My Fight.

Period.

I Just Don’t Want Y’all To Worry About Me.

I Don’t Want Y’all To Waste Your Time And Energy On Something So Frivolous.

I’ll Get It All Worked-Out.

It’s Just Going To Take Some Time.

Lucky For Me, I Have All The Time In The World.

So, We Shall See How This All Pans-Out.

If You Wanna Cross Your Fingers For Me (you know, for good luck and such) Then You’re More Than Welcome To Do So.

Down, But Not Out.

That’s Me.

… … …

…

The Other Purpose Of This Little Posting Is To Celebrate Something Very VERY Special.

I Just Reached Another Personal Milestone With This Little Blog.

Which Milestone Is That, You Ask?!?

1,000 FOLLOWERS!!!

That’s What!!!

Put THAT In Your Collective Pipe And Smoke It, My Peeps!!!

BAAM!!!

1,000 FOLLOWERS!!!

Seeing That Made Me Smile Like Nobody’s Business, Fo SHO!

I Always Kinda Figured I’d Make It To This Stage, Or At Least Did At One Point.

Then I Started Sloughing-Off.

Once That Happened, I Wasn’t Sure I’d Ever Make Here.

But YOU, My Peeps, YOU Kept Coming Back.

New People Kept Showing Up.

The Blog Perpetuated.

We’re Over 1,000 Strong, Now, Kiddies.

Isn’t That Just F-in’ A-MA-ZING?!?!

Good.

I Totally Agree.

😀

I’m Going To Leave You With The Song Of My Morning.

I Don’t Rightly Know How Relevant It Is To My Before Mentioned Topics, But It’s The Song I’m Addicted To, Today.

Ever Heard This One?

“YOU GOT IT“

by ROY ORBISON

???

Great!!!

I Knew A Lot Of You Would Know It, And I Was Banking The Bulk Of You Would Enjoy It.

It’s One Of ROY ORBISON‘s More Peppy, Upbeat Numbers.

I Know, Most Of You Have Only Heard Me Play His Slower, Slightly More Depressing Tunes…

…But NOT Today.

I Do Sincerely Hope You Enjoy It, Kiddies.

And THANK YOU.

THANK YOU For Continuing To Support Me…

…To Support This Blog…

…To Give Me An Outlet Where I Can Honestly Get Something Back.

I Derive So Much Pleasure From Talking To Y’all, Reading Your Work, Exchanging Comments, Ideas, Etc Etc.

Honestly, I Love It.

Fo F-in’  SHO, My Peeps.

😉     😀     😉

It’s FRIDAY, Kiddies.

The Weekend Is Upon Us.

Let Us All Try To Make It A Good One.

I’m Going To Do My Very Best, And Trust Y’all Will Be Doing The Very Same.

Take Care, My Peeps.

Try To Be Good.

See Me Soon, And Talk To Me Sooner.

L8r L8r L8r

The Song Stuck In My Head: “CRYING” by ROY ORBISON (with k.d. lang (1987))

“…I Thought That I…

…Was Over You…

…But, It‘s True…

…So True…

…I Love You Even More…

…Than I Did Before…

…But, Darlin‘, What Can I Do…

…For You Don‘t Love Me…

…And, I‘ll Always Be…

…CRYING…

…Over You…

…CRYING…

…Over You…

…Yes…

…Now You‘re Gone…

…And From This Moment On…

…I‘ll Be CRYING…

…CRYING…

…CRYING…

…CRYING…

…CRYING…

…CRYING…

…Over You.”

—{*}—

\\\///

\\//

\/

I Know What You’re Wondering, My Peeps, I Really Do.

Is Young Bradley Sad This Morning?

Bradley Only Busts-Out The ROY ORBISON When He’s In A Downer Mood.

And, In Thinking That, You’d Be (almost) Very VERY Correct.

I Am Sad, This Morning.

It Happens.

To All Of Us, It Happens.

After Having A Conversation Last Night With Someone, My Mood Has Been Sinking Further And Further.

Again, It Happens.

Every Single Day Can’t Be Bubblegum And Candy, Ya Know?!

And, While I Do Tend To Listen To ROY ORBISON When I’m Down…

…I Also Listen To Him When I’m Supremely Happy.

There’s No Rhyme, Nor Reason.

It Just Happens.

But, Today, I’m So Very VERY Sad.

Being Taken To Task About One’s Life (or lack thereof) Is Never A Conversation One Enjoys.

In That, I’m Very Human.

I Didn’t Like It One Bit.

And, I’d Be Lying If I Said It Didn’t Effect Me On All Levels…

…Mental…

…Emotional…

…Physical…

…You Name It.

Did I Cry?

Even A Little?

You Betcha.

Did I Feel Better Afterward?

No.

Not In The Slightest.

In Fact, I Felt Weak.

I Felt Disgusted With Myself, Honestly.

Why I Let Anyone/Anything Effect Me Like That Is Beyond Me.

But, It Happens.

To The Very Best (and very worst) Of Us, It Happens.

So, This Morning, I Felt It Was Time To Work A Bit.

I Had To Get This Out Of My Head, Even In Some Small Way.

“CRYING“

byROY ORBISON

((with k. d. lang))

…Is My All-Time Favorite Duet In Music History.

Period.

In My Book, It Doesn’t Get Any Better.

I Sincerely Hope Y’all Enjoy It.

… … …

…

QUESTION:

When YOU Are Sad, What Songs Do YOU Listen To, My Peeps???

Anything Specific, Or Special???

Let Me Know.

I’d Love To Know.

May I Know?

…

… … …

What The Hell Is Going On Around Here?!?

Honestly, My Peeps, So So Very Much Has Been Going On.

Life Has Been Quirky…

…Odd…

…Frustrating…

…Wonderful…

…Horrible…

…Exciting…

…Trying…

…Oh, So Very Very Trying.

BUT…

…I’ve Been Weathering It All Quite Well, I Would Say.

I Know It Has Been A While Since We’ve All Shot-The-Shit…

…Kicked-It-Back…

…Talked-Some-Shop…

…BUT…

…I Sincerely Promise There Have Been Plenty Of Quality Reasons.

You See, My Peeps, I’ve Been Trying Very Very Hard To Have A Life.

It’s Not Something I’m Really Accustomed To.

Like, At All.

But, I Have Been Trying.

I Got Myself A Man.  😀

I Got Myself A Job.  🙂

I Got Myself Fired From Said Job Before It Really Got Going.  😦

I’ve Been Playing The Helpful/Dutiful Son.

I’ve Been Playing The Helpful/Dutiful Grandson.

I’ve Been Playing The Helpful/Dutiful Boyfriend.

I’ve Been Playing For The Sake Of Playing.

I’ve Been Having FUN For A Freakin’ Change, And Trying To Enjoy Every Moment Of It.

😀       🙂       😉

Sadly, It Hasn’t All Been Fun And Games.

I’ve Had Multiple Family Members Die Over The Past Few Months.

:*(     :*(

I’ve Suffered Through A Couple Bouts Of Fairly Extreme Illness.

😦

Life Has Really Been Bringing The Heat, But Totally Keeping Me Honest With A Steady Supply Of Curve-Balls.

Sheesh, I Tell You.

Sheesh, Indeed.

I’m Writing This Today Because I’m Looking To Begin Again.

I Miss Working On This Blog A Bundle, Though I Admit I Could Have Come Back To Y’all A Lot Sooner.

But, I Chose To Continue Being A “Reblog-Whore” And Just Let Things Ride.

I Still Plan To Be A “Reblog-Whore”, But I’ll Be Injecting Myself Into Things Whenever I Can.

😉

TODAY…

…APRIL 10TH…

…Is My Birthday.

Everyone Always Asks The Same Question:

"DO YOU FEEL ANY OLDER?"

Honestly, My Peeps, Yes Yes YES I DO.

Period.

I Know I’m Not THAT Old, But I’m Old Enough.

Old Enough To Realize I Have To Continue Trying To Have A Life.

Old Enough To Understand How Important It Is To Continue Onward.

Old Enough To Feel Old Enough.

I’m Tired, My Peeps.

I’m So Very Tired.

But, There Are Still Duties To Perform…

…And Life Goes On.

I’m Going To Leave Y’all For Now.

But, I Do Promise To Be Back Again.

I’ve Been Writing A Lot.

Pen-To-Paper, Ya Know?

Perhaps I’ll Be Sharing More Of That With Y’all.

I Plan To.

So Let Us All See If I Actually Make That Happen.

I Really Do Plan To.

As I Exit (for now) I’m Going To Leave You With A Song.

A Song That Has Quickly Become A Personal Favorite.

DEPECHE MODE Has Just Released Their Latest Album, “DELTA MACHINE“, And I’m Totally In LOVE/LUST With It.

The Song For Today Is…

“SOOTHE MY SOUL“

…And It’s A Real Kicker!

I Sincerely Hope Y’all Enjoy It.

I Find It Simply Exceptional!!!

Please Take Care, My Peeps.

I’ll Write More When I’m Able.

Until Then…

…Take Care…

…Be Good…

…See Me Soon…

…And Talk To Me Sooner!!!

Much Love To Y’all, Fo SHO Fo SHO!!!

😀     😀     😀     😀     😀

😀     😀     😀

I Remain Conscious, Even While Dreaming In My Sleep.

—At Least, I’m Pretty Sure I Do.  It Feels Like I Do.  When I Wake-Up Wake-Up, I’m Exhausted. Regardless Of How Long I’ve Laid There, I’m Exhausted.

It Doesn’t Make Sense.

I Remember My Dreams… …All Of My Dreams.

My Dreams Are (put mildly) Simply Fu*ked-Up.

Period.

They’re Wild.

They’re Vivid.

They’re Crazy.

They’re Awesome.

They’re Dangerous.

They’re Beautiful.

They’re Horrid.

They’re Amazing.

They’re Disturbing.

All At The Same Time.

If Our Dreams Are A Reflection Of Ourselves, Our True Selves, Then I Sincerely Haven’t A Clue As To What To Say Next.

Perhaps I Sincerely Shouldn’t Have A Clue As To What To Say Next.

I Already Feel Like An “Odd Duck” In Many MANY Ways, So I Just Hope That, In This Instance, I’m No More Odd Than The Rest Of You.

Dreams Are A Very Funny Thing, My Peeps.

Sometimes, I Wish They’d Come True.

Sometimes, I Pray They Don’t Come True.

Sometimes, I Know They’re Going To Come True Whether I Want Them To Or Not.

Sometimes, Sometimes, Sometimes.

Sheesh.

Let The Day Begin, Already.

Time, Brother, You’re Holding Me Up.

I’ve A Place To Go…

…A Person To See…

…A Life To Live.

Right, Kids?!

RIGHT!!!—

I’ve Been Putting Pen-To-Paper So Much…

…I’ve Nearly Lost Myself Here.

I Don’t Mean To Neglect Y’all, My Peeps, But I’ve Been Trying To Take Things In A Whole New Direction.

New For Me.

New For You.

New For Us.

My Fire…

…My Drive…

…My Want…

…My Need…

…My Desire…

…They’re All Returning.

Returning Harder And Faster Than I’d Honestly Known Was Even Possible.

I Was Burning-Out.

The Fire Had Seriously Dimmed.

It Felt Choked.

Smothered.

Almost Strangled Out Of Existence.

And Then It Happened.

The Spark Came Into My Life, And It’s Not Letting Me Go…

…I’m Not Letting It Go.

The Fire Is Burning Hotter And Brighter Than It Has In Forever.

Things Are Changing.

Inside And Out, They’re Are Changing.

And I’m Loving It.

I’m Loving Every Bit Of It.

Am I Setting Myself Up For Failure?

Maybe.

I Don’t Really Care.

No Risk, No Reward.

Right???

RIGHT!!!

Soon, You’re All Going To Start Noticing The Transitions I’m Working-Out.

You’re Going To Hear Me Talk A Lot About The “Clean Slate“ And How It Can Literally Mean Everything.

I Wanted Nothing More Than A “Clean Slate“…

…A “Fresh Start“…

…A “New Beginning“…

…However You Wanna Put It.

Now, I’m Getting That Chance.

I’m Making That Chance.

I’m Taking That Chance.

It’s Mine.

All I Have To Do Is Own It.

And, Own It, I Shall.

🙂       😉       😀

And Now, For Your Listening Pleasure, The Song That Totally Says Everything I Need It To Say Right This Moment…

“INSIGHT“

by DEPECHE MODE

…From Their 1997 Album “ULTRA” !!!

Enjoy It, My Peeps.

You Already Know I Do…

…I Am…

…I Will.

Always And Forever, I Will.

I’ve Given You An Insight Into MY Life…

…I Just Hope To Reward Your Loving Patience.

Later On, My Peeps.

We’ll Be Talking More VERY Soon!!!

I Know I’ve Been A Reblog Whore Of Late, But I DO Have My Reasons…

…Mainly, I‘ve Been Out Living My Life.

And, Honestly, It Has Been WILD.

Not WILD As In “Exotic“…

…More Like “Chaotic“…’ish.

My Emotional Roller–Coaster Continues.

But, Without Some Of Those Emotional Lows, Would I Really Appreciate All Those Emotional Highs So So SO Keenly???

Doubtful.

Doubtful, Indeed.

I‘m Taking The Good With The Bad, But I‘m Content With The Give And Take.

It Seems Only Fair.

My Head And My Heart Have BOTH Been Working Overtime.

Often, They‘ve Been Working Said Overtime In Opposing Manners.

And, While There Are A Few Moments I‘ve Disliked, I Remain Happy.

That‘s The Primary Goal, Right?!

The Happiness?!

The Joy?!

The Good Stuff?!

That‘s The Game I‘m Playing, Right Now.

I Don‘t Really Know If I’m Winning Or Losing…

…But I FEEL Like I‘m Winning.

Maybe That‘s The Whole Point?!

Maybe?!

I Can Handle A“Maybe?!” Alllll Niiiiiiiiight Loooooooong!!!

🙂       😉       😀