“I’m Not Going Down On My Knees, Begging You To Adore Me…”

“…Can’t You See It’s Misery, And Torture For Me?

When I’m Misunderstood…

…Try As Hard As You Can…

…I’ve Tried As Hard As I Could…

…To Make You See…

…How Important It Is For Me.”

Shake The Disease (via Amazon.com)“Here Is A Plea…

…From My Heart To You…

…Nobody Knows Me…

…As Well As You Do…

…You Know How Hard It Is For Me…

…To SHAKE THE DISEASE

…That Takes Hold Of My Tongue In Situations Like These.

Understand Me…

…Understand Me.

Understand Me…

…Understand Me. …”

… … … … … … …

… … … … …

… … …

I’ve had this song…

SHAKE THE DISEASE

by DEPECHE MODE

…on my mind for a few days, now.

It’s a song I’ve known, seemingly, forever.

And, yet, it has been locked inside my brain-case, rolling around over and over again.

It’s a song that says a helluva lot, especially to me.

Especially right now.

You see, I’m still dealing with the most common issue I’ve discussed with y’all many times over…

…LOVE.

Or, well, a lack-there-of.

I still find myself fighting a personal battle with myself over the whole idea of Love, Loving, Being In-Love, and Being In-Love with someone I probably shouldn’t be In-Love with at all.

It’s just life, I know that.

It’s just a normal thing, right?

Riiiiiiight???

Hmm.

I just feel this song says exactly what I NEED it to say.

Exactly what I WANT to say, but can’t.

I remain a man lost in the throws of love and passion.

Time continues to pass me by, and yet my feelings remain the same.

I’m still In-Love.

I just don’t know how much longer I can continue to fight what seems to be a losing battle.

No one loses all the time.

There are always some elated moments of bliss.

Those moments when you’re very Very VERY sure everything is working-out and going your way.

They’re very few and far between, but they’re there.

They do exist.

I know they do, as I experience them.

And I relish in them.

But, it’s simply getting harder and harder to truly feel as though everything really is going to work-out.

I want it to.

I want nothing more than that.

I just don’t know if it’s really going to happen.

:\

I went to bed last night with this song blaring in my mind.

I awoke this morning, and my first thought, again, was this song.

I knew the only way to get it out of my head was to write something about it.

To get it out of me and onto this screen.

And, so, here I am.

Writing about this to all of you.

Not knowing what I really want/need to be saying.

Just knowing that I MUST MUST MUST say something.

Period.

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

Later Nights… …Earlier Mornings: An Insomniac’s Tale of Life and Love

I’m not altogether sure where this is going to go…

…BUT…

…I am sure it’s going to go somewhere.

So stick with me, please?

Thanks!

… … …

.. ..

.

Have you ever been torn, My Peeps?

Wow.

Wait.

Okay, I do realize that can be taken sooooo many ways…

(((many of them dirty dirty)))

…so I’ll do my best to clarify.

Have you ever been torn by LOVE?

Knowing you want to be with someone, but knowing you really enjoy the person you’re with at that moment?

Well…

…it has happened to me.

It has happened multiple times, honest.

As far back as I could remember, I was generally with one person while already having wanted, and still wanting, to be with a certain someone else.

I get with someone because they’re very special to me, but all the while I have someone else on the front of my brain.

Someone else whom I already love/want/need/require.

Someone else whom I know I probably can never, and will never, truly call “MINE.”

And, no matter how wonderful things might become with the one person, you still yearn for the certain someone else.

Knowing/Hoping/Feeling/Thinking things WOULD be better if you were truly with the someone else.

It’s crazy, I know.

But, I also believe it to be human nature.

Right?

I mean, it is, right?

“The Grass Is Always Greener Somewhere F*ckin’ Else, And All That Jazz!”

That’s how that goes, riiiiiiight?

Hmm.

Moving On.

Until last night, I truly was torn.

Torn between the lover I once had, whom is now an exceptionally close friend…

…and the man I’ve loved for over a year, whom isn’t mine in any way except in the ways that should truly truly matter.

I’ve been torn, because I can’t spend all the time with the both of them that I’d really like.

And, honestly, it had become harder to juggle.

Last night, however, I had a long talk with the now friend (former lover).

We discussed so much, it was amazing.

He’s not the easiest to speak to at times when the conversation is of a personal nature such as this one was.

But, last night, he was jovial.

He was kind.

He was insightful.

He was respectful.

And he flat-out told me that he felt things would be better for ME if I really did spend more time with the someone else.

He’s not dismissing me.

We’re still going to see each other a lot.

But, now, I truly have the freedom to spend all the time with the someone else whenever I choose.

I won’t have to dance around and be pissy because I have to cancel on one to see the other.

My friend wishes me to explore things with the someone else, knowing now how I truly feel.

Thing is, all of this took place around MIDNIGHT.

And it didn’t end there.

My friend and I stayed up talking for hours and hours, and it was a truly grand experience.

We watched some “BATTLESTAR GALACTICA” and some “STAR TREK: TNG”…

…and then we watched “DARKMAN” on the Blu-ray.

By 3:30am, I was texting with the someone else.

And things couldn’t be better, at least in regard to all of the before mentioned.

We’re cool.

We’re all cool.

So, for the first time in a long time, the tension I’ve felt has lifted.

I feel amazingly contented and relaxed.

I’m happy.

Happy to know I didn’t lose a good friend.

Happy to know I didn’t lose the man I love.

Happy to know things are working out exactly as I had hoped, instead of how I had sadly expected.

Expectations can be a major High, or a major Low Low Low.

I was in the midst of a Low Low Low mindset toward my Expectations.

Instead, I was surprised with the elation of everything working out as I’d truly hoped hoped hoped they would.

Amazing.

I finally went to sleep around 5:30am…

…and was awake and writing this by 7:30am.

I know good moods aren’t forever.

They don’t last.

They can’t last.

Not really real ones.

But, for now, I’m into a really good mood mindset.

And I’m really hoping it’s able to perpetuate for a while.

That would be very nice.

I could use more good days.

This is the first time in a long long long time my not being able to sleep has led to something positive.

Insomnia almost always sucks ass.

Last night, it was an asset.

Go figure, eh?

Yeah.

Go figure.

πŸ˜‰

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

So, I’ve Had A String Of Overtly Off Moments, Lately…

…And Tonight It Has Really Snowballed Into A Very Deep Depression.

I Know Most Say You Shouldn’t Write For Publication At Times Like These, But, In This Case, It Can’t Be Helped.

It’s Not Your Usual Depression About Your Usual Mundane Bullshit.

Not This Time, Anyway.

For Those Of You Whom Have Read Me For The Past (almost) Two Years, You Know That, While I Do Acquaint Myself With Other People On Occasion, I Generally Spend Most Of My Time Alone.

I Live In My Head, And Am Generally Not The Best Of Company.

I Tend To Be Really Quiet,,, ,,,Except When I Laugh.

I Get My Money’s Worth When I Do Bellow Out A Jolly One.

Aside From My Eyes, My Best Feature May Actually Be That Laugh.

I Even Snort… …On Occasion.

That Generally Means I’ve Laughed Too Hard.

Sadly, Aside From The Time I Spend With Someone Very Special To Me, I Tend To Not Laugh At All.

I Giggle A Bit… …But It’s Internal.

Outwardly, I’m A Tad Cold.

The Problem Is…

...As It Always Is In My World...

…Knowing Some Of Those I Love Most, Are Those Whom Don’t Really Share The Feeling.

I Constantly Get The Feeling Other People Lie And Say They Enjoy My Company, But It’s Only Because They Truly (deep down) Feel Sorry For Me.

Seeing Me Makes Them Realize How Grand Their Life Has The Potential To Be, And Might Already Be.

I’ve Failed At Every Venture I’ve Ever Undertaken.

Every. Single. One.

Alright…

…I Did Win A “First Place Superior” In The 6th Grade Science Fair.

But, They Gave Out Like 10 Of Those.

So, Honestly, It Never Felt Like A True Victory.

Anyway, Sorry, I’m Drifting.

The Point Is…

…I’ve Been The Saddest Boy In The World For The Past 48-Hours, And It’s Literally Driving Me Crazy.

My Thoughts And Feelings Have Been Running Rampant, And They’re Literally Driving Me (even more-so) Crazy!

Can I Pinpoint The Biggest Issue?

Yes.

Can I Do Anything Whatsoever To Correct Said Biggest Issue?

Not. At. All.

I Know They Say You Shouldn’t Worry About What You Can’t Control, But Piss On Them.

They Just Don’t Get It, Or Are Lying To You AND Themselves.

I Can’t Control How I Feel…

…Yet It Constantly Worries The Everlasting Shit Out Of Me.

You Want A Little Detail?

Fine.

I Have TWO (2) Best Friends…

…One Straight, One Gay.

The Straight One I’ve Known Since The Age Of 2yo, And We’ve Been Best Friends Since The Age Of 10yo.

The Gay One I’ve Known For Three Years…

…And I’ve Been In Love With Him For The Past Two.

That’s What Has Me So Depressed, Kiddies.

The Fact That I Can’t Get Myself Over Those Extra Feelings.

Loving Someone Is Important, Especially Someone You Call Your BFF.

But, Being IN-LOVE With Said BFF???

O M F G

I Don’t Even Know Where To Begin On How That Feels.

For The Most Part, It’s A Mix Of Extreme Joy AND Extreme Pain.

I’ve Loved Before, Sure.

I’ve Loved Many People In My 30+Years On Earth.

But, Never Like This.

Never This Strongly.

And, Yes, I Already Know It Has Very Little Chance To Become More Than What It Already Is…

…More Than What We Already Are.

Yet, I Dont Waiver.

I Dont Stop Feeling As I Do.

I Dont Stop Wanting As I Do.

Needing As I Do.

Its Insane.

Its Killing Me.

Its Crushing What Spirit I May Have.

Yet, I Dont Waiver.

SOOOOO…

…You Tell Me, My Peeps…

…Am I A Fool, Or Just Being Foolish?

There IS A Difference, You Know… …Riiiiiiiiigh???

RIGHT!!!

My Curiosity Abounds, Kiddies.

Honestly And Truly It Does!

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

What’s Worse… …???

Yesterday Evening, I Posed A Question On My Facebook Page.

I Felt It Was Pretty Cut And Dry.

Whats Worse
Feeling Like Youre Betraying Someone You Love
Or, Knowing Youre Betraying Your Own Heart???
Either Way, You Lose.
Right???
So, What’s Worse???”

And, Well,Β  Since I Didnt Get The Responses I Was Truly Hoping For, Ive Decided To Pose The Same Question To Yall.

I Really Do Wish To Know What People Think (((Sometimes))) And I Cant Think Of Anything Id Rather Have Answered.

So, What Do You Think, My Peeps???

WHATS WORSE???

My Curiosity Abounds.

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

Feeling Brilliant; Feeling Foolish: It Really Is A Fine FINE Line To Travel Upon…

…And Of That There Can Be Little Debate.

Granted, There Are People Whom Can AND Will Debate Anything AND Everything.

To Those People, Honestly, I Say…

“More Power To Ya.”

To The Rest Of Us Whom Teeter-Totter On The Edge OfΒ  The Before Mentioned “Feeling Brilliant” AND “Feeling Foolish” There Really Isn’t Much To Say Other Than…

“It’s Called LIFE. Deal With It. If You Don’t Get One Outcome, You’re ALMOST Assured To Get The Other. It’s Called LIFE.”

2013, Now More Than Half Over, Has Been A Year Filled With BOTH Feelings/Mindsets.

I Do Admit To Having A Few Truly Brilliant Moments, This Year.

True, They May Have Been Situations Where I Was Confident In The Outcome Ahead Of Time AND Was Thus Proved Correct.

But, Honestly, That Feels A Touch Beside The Point.

At Least, For Now. πŸ˜‰

Sadly, However, 2013 Has Felt More And More AND MORE Like A Year Of Foolishness On My Part.

Family Issues.

Friend Issues.

Relationship Issues.

Personal Issues.

You Name It, Chances Are I Can Equate Whatever It Is Into Yet Another Foolish Moment For Yours Truly.

But, And I’m Curious About This In Many Respects, What Truly Is The Fine Line Between “Brilliance” And “Foolishness”???

Sadly, I Keep Coming Back To The Same One-Word Answer…

“SUCCESS”

Period.

If Something Is A Winner, Chances Are You’ll Be Overtly Contented.

You’ll Be Feeling The Wondrous Side Of A Success, Regardless Of What It Is.

You’ll Most Likely Even Feel A Flash Of “Brilliance” Wash Over You.

But…

…What If You Fail???

What If There Is No Real Success In Whatever It Is You’ve Attempted???

You’ll Be Feeling The Vile Side Of A Lost Chance At A Success…

…And Of That, I Sincerely Have No Doubts.

You Won’t Feel Any Waves Of “Brilliance” Afterward.

No, You’ll Be Feeling As I Do Most Of The Time.

You’ll Be Feeling Like A “Fool” And Feeling Listless In Wonder As To Where You Went Wrong.

I Think That’s Why I Love Baseball So Very Very Much.

It Truly Is More About Failure And Loss.

At Least, More So Than Anything Else.

Winning Is WONDERFUL!

Losing SUCKS ASS!

But, You Don’t Learn Much From Winning, Other Than The Elation Of The Actual Win.

You Do, On The Other Hand, Learn So So SO Much More From Defeat.

Now, I Know You’re All Waiting For Me To Divulge Some Of Said “Foolish” Moments, But I Don’t Really Think I Can.

Not Without Getting Myself, Or Others, In Trouble…

…With Someone…

…Somewhere…

…Be They Person, Or Entity.

Honestly, The Moment I’m Going To Briefly Mention Is A Combo Of BOTH “Brilliance” AND “Foolishness” Like You Wouldn’t Believe.

You See, My Peeps My Friends The Kiddies, I’ve Been Living Through A Self-Imposed EXILE For Almost A Month, Now.

It’s Honestly Killing Me.

I’ve Never EVER Felt So Alone In My Life.

Hell, I Spent A Couple Months In Boot-Camp, Which Was About The Loneliest Time In My Life…

…Until Now.

I Feel So Alone Because I’ve Simply Been Toooooooooooooo Damned Embarrassed To Be Around Other People.

Period.

Other Than My Immediate Family, Only ONE PERSON Has Seen Me AND Spent Time With Me While I’m In This Condition.

For Those Of You Whom Don’t Know…

…I FINALLY GOT MY ORAL SURGERY!

I Got It Last Month.

I’m Literally About Two-Weeks Away From Having A Perfect Smile, Again!

I Couldn’t Be Happier About That Part.

It’s The Waiting In-Between PHASE I And PHASE II That’s The Killer.

I Do Feel Brilliant For Finally Pulling The Trigger, Plunking Down The Money I Can’t Afford To Burn In Any Way, And Getting ALL Of My Teeth Fixed.

Trust Me, Kids, Years And Years AND YEARS Of Acid Erosion Can Be Dentally Devastating.

I’m A Living, Breathing Poster-Board For It.

Sadly, I Also Am Feeling Very VERY Foolish.

Foolish Because I Have, More Or Less, Gone Into Total Hiding.

I Don’t Go Anywhere ((save my morning walks)).

I Don’t Meet Other People.

I Stay As Totally Off The Social Grid As Possible.

I’m Sad, Yes.

I’m Lonely, Yes.

I’m Going Out Of My Mind In The Want/Need To Spend Time With Those Other People I Care Deeply For.

But, As Foolish As This Exile Has Been…

…For Me, Personally Personally, It Has Been Bordering On Brilliant.

I’ve Looked Bad In The Past…

…But I Really Don’t Want People Seeing Me At My Absolute Worst.

I’m Far Toooooo Self-Conscious For That.

So, By Adding The Pains Of Loneliness…

…Sadness…

…And Racing Thoughts…

…It Adds Up To A Bit Of The “Foolish Factor” Feeling.

BUT, By Removing The Pains Of Embarrassment…

…And Extreme Paranoia Due To The Overt Self-Conscious Issues…

…I’m Experiencing A Touch Of The Ole “Brilliance Factor” Feeling, Also.

πŸ˜€

Sooooooooooooo…

…What Do You Think?

Am I Just Being Foolish??

Or, Is There Even A Hint Of Brilliance To It???

Do YOU Often Feel Like This????

--Yeah. You. In The Back. Pretending Not To Be Reading Over The Other Person's Shoulder.--

Do YOU Often Feel Like This, My Peeps?????

My Curiosity Abounds!

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜‰Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

“He Told Me A Heart Can’t Smile… …If It’s Filled With Tears…”

“…Growing Up, I ThoughtIts All Gone“…

Now It Comes Back To Me, Again

Ghetto Uniform

Collect Calls

That I Can Explain

All The The Things Ive Ruined

Abandoned

They Come Back To Me…”

PhoenixAlphabeticalalbumcover (via Wikipedia)

“…HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire…”

Phoenix_Wiltern_June_28th (via Wikipedia)

“…He Told Me For Those Whove Been Drowned

There Is No Refrain

With One And Only Youth

A Gospel

I Do What I Can…”

640px-Phoenix_mg_5742 (via Wikipedia)

“…HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

I Try To Set The Night On Fire…”

… … …

.. ..

.

Over This Past Weekend, I Was Introduced To The Band…

PHOENIX

…And This Song…

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

…Which I Immediately Fell In Love/Lust With.

It’s Perky.

It’s Quirky.

It’s Catchy.

It Makes Me Smile.

Can’t Ask For Much More From Your Music, Right???

RIGHT!!!

HOLDIN ON TOGETHER

…Was Released On The Album…

ALPHABETICAL

…In 2004.

I Know I’d Heard This Little Tune On The Radio At Some Point, And I Liked It, But Knew Absolutely Nothing About It, Nor The Band Performing It.

Now, Well, I Simply Can’t Get Enough Of It.

I’m Unsure How Many Times I’ve Listened To It In The Past Few Days, But I Know It’s A Metric-Ass-Ton.

But, For Me, That’s Just How I Roll.

I Find Something New That I Greatly Enjoy, And I Go For It.

If It’s Song, I Listen To It Over And Over.

If It’s A Movie, I’ll Likely Watch It Multiple Times In A Short Span Of Days.

If It’s A Book, I’ll Read It All The Way Through, And Then Do So Again.

I Get On My Kicks, Ya Know?!

SURE YOU DO!!

A Lot Of You Are Exactly The Same.

I’m Just Sure Of That.

I Just Hope Y’all Enjoy This Little Number.

This Song Is Now Permanently Linked With A Special Someone In My World.

Every Time I Hear It, I Think About Him.

Sometimes, That’s A Wonderful Thing.

Sometimes, That’s A Horrid Thing.

It Really Depends On My Mood, To Be Honest.

Nevertheless, I Continue To Listen To It…

…And Love It…

…And Enjoy It.

Period.

Feelings Are Funny Things, And It’s Crazy How They Can Be Linked To Something Like This.

But, That’s Life.

Right???

RIGHT!!!

I Included A Link To The Song, So PLEASE Give It A Listen.

Let Me Know What You Think.

You May Not Enjoy It As Much As I Do…

…Or You May Enjoy It Even More.

You’ll Just Have To Give It A Go And Find Out!!!

Ready For A Musical Adventure???

AWESOME!!!

Then Let’s Go!!!

Have A Grand Day, Kiddies.

Take Care AND Be Good.

πŸ˜‰Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β  πŸ™‚

“…There Were Moments Of Gold… There Were Flashes Of Light… There Were Things I’d Never Do Again… But Then They Always Seemd Right…” –PANDORA’S BOX (“It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (1989))

“…There Were Nights Of Sacred Pleasure

It Was More Than Any Laws Allow

Baby, Baby…”

Originalsin_cover (via Wikipedia)

ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOWWas Originally Released By The Band PANDORAS BOX On The AlbumORIGINAL SINIn 1989 !!!

“…If I Kiss You Like This

And, If You Whisper Like That

It Was Lost Long Ago

But, Its All Coming Back To Me

If You Want Me Like This

And, If You Need Me Like That

It Was Dead Long Ago

But, Its All Coming Back To Me

Its So Hard To Resist

And, Its All Coming Back To Me

I Can Barely Recall

But, ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW! …”

… … … … … … …

… … …

πŸ™‚

Alright, My Peeps…

…I Know, I Know…

…Call-Out The Lame Police On Me, This Morning.

I Know, I Know.

But, Hell, It Happens To Everyone At Some Point…

…Right???

RIGHT!!!

Now, I’m Not Going To Try To Defend My Position On This Song…

ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW

by PANDORAS BOX

…I’m Really Just Going To Let The Song And The Lyrics Speak For Themselves.

I Awoke With This Song Playing In My Ear, As I Managed To Fall Asleep (again) With My MP3Player Blaring Some Of My Favorite Jams.

I Know There Are Other Versions Of This Little Number…

…But, Honestly, This Is The One I Remember Most…

…And, This Is The One I Enjoy Most.

Again, I Know, I’m Lame.

My Bad, My Peeps.

My Bad, Indeed.

But, When I Awoke, With This Song Cranking Away, I Simply Felt Powerless.

I Was Caught Within Its Grasp.

So, I Listened To It.

And Then Again.

And Again.

Finally, Before Things Got Out Of Hand, I Knew The Only Way I’d Get It Out Of My Head Was To Blog ’bout It.

It At Least Had The Most Potential For Successfully Getting It Unstuck.

Sadly (or happily depending on your view) It Isn’t Working.

I’m Still Listening.

I’m Still Singing Along.

I’m Still Wishing I Could Properly Say All I’d Like To Say, Right Now.

But, I Know I Can’t.

I’ll Just Say This Is A Song That Feeds My Happiness…

…And Makes Me Smile To (apparently) No End.

Yeah, It’s A Cheesy Song.

Yeah, It’s Probably Not The Best Version.

Yeah, I Don’t Really Give A Rat’s Ass Either Way.

What I Can (and will) Say, Is That I’m In Such A Quality Place, Mentally And Emotionally, Right Now.

Feelings I Haven’t Felt In Seemingly Forever Continue To Bubble-Up To The Surface.

I Feel Good.

I Feel Happy.

I Feel Cared For.

I Feel Connected.

How On Hell’s Half-Acre Could I Even Consider Letting Those Feelings Slip Away?

EXACTLY, My Peeps, I CAN’T.

I WON’T.

Said Feelings Simply FEEL Amazing To Me.

I’m Content, Kiddies.

I’m Finally Content.

And, While This May Not Last, I’m Not Going To Knock-It.

I’ve Wanted To Feel This Way For So SO LOOOOONG.

How Could I Give It Up?!?

Again…

…I CAN’T And I WON’T.

Period.

This Song May Be Total Cheese-Balls…

…But It DOES FIT With My Current Mental And Emotional States.

That’s Good Enough To Make It Blog-Worthy, Right???

RIGHT!!!

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

Please Enjoy Your Day, My Peeps.

The Weekend Is Upon Us.

Let’s Make It A Good One.

We Deserve That.

We Totally, TOTALLY DO, My Peeps.

Totally.

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

“If You Want To Win Friends…”

“…Make It A Point To Remember Them.Β  If You Remember My Name, You Pay Me A Subtle Compliment.Β  You Indicate That I Have Made An Impression On You.Β  Remember My Name And You Add To My Feeling Of Importance.”

DALE CARNEGIE

dale-carnegie-1 (via quotecollection.com)

Dale-Carnegie (via ideabrightmarketing.com)

(((18881955)))

-{{WRITER}}-

-{{AUTHOR}}-

-{{LECTURER}}-

-{{SELFIMPROVEMENT WRITER}}-

I Know I’ve Been A Reblog Whore Of Late, But I DO Have My Reasons…

Mainly, Ive Been Out Living My Life.

And, Honestly, It Has Been WILD.

Not WILD As InExotic“…

More LikeChaotic“…’ish.

My Emotional RollerCoaster Continues.

But, Without Some Of Those Emotional Lows, Would I Really Appreciate All Those Emotional Highs So So SO Keenly???

Doubtful.

Doubtful, Indeed.

Im Taking The Good With The Bad, But Im Content With The Give And Take.

It Seems Only Fair.

My Head And My Heart Have BOTH Been Working Overtime.

Often, Theyve Been Working Said Overtime In Opposing Manners.

And, While There Are A Few Moments Ive Disliked, I Remain Happy.

Thats The Primary Goal, Right?!

The Happiness?!

The Joy?!

The Good Stuff?!

Thats The Game Im Playing, Right Now.

I Dont Really Know If I’m Winning Or Losing

But I FEEL Like Im Winning.

Maybe Thats The Whole Point?!

Maybe?!

I Can Handle AMaybe?!” Alllll Niiiiiiiiight Loooooooong!!!

πŸ™‚Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜‰Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-