NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE Once Said…
“NO MAN, For Any Considerable Time, Can Wear One Face To Himself And Another To The Multitude Without Finally Getting Bewildered As To Which May Be The True.”
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE ((1804–1864))
*** *** ***
Yeah.
Now, Tell Me This Quote Wasn’t Written For Me.
Not For Me Alone, No, But Totally For Me In General.
It Gets Right At The Heart Of What I’ve Been Trying To Talk About The Past Few Days.
We Lie To Ourselves So Much.
We Convince Ourselves We’re Not Good Enough…
…Not Fast Enough…
…Not Strong Enough…
…Not Attractive Enough…
…And We Do So At A Break-Neck-Pace.
Suddenly, A Life That Really Wasn’t So Bad Becomes A Living Hell.
Through No One’s Fault But Our Own, We Do This.
We Beat Ourselves Down.
Down To The Ground.
We Take What Good We Do Have Going For Us, And We Tarnish It.
We Do This All The Time.
The Big Question Is…
…As Always…
…WHY?!?!?
Does Anyone Have A Decent Answer?
Anyone??
ANYONE???
I Didn’t Think So.
Honestly…
…I Don’t Have A Decent Answer, Either.
I Wish I Did.
I Sincerely Wish I Did.
There Are Some Whom Believe I Lead A Charmed Existence.
And Then, There Are Some Whom I Couldn’t Give My Life To.
Some May Think It So Vile.
Some May Think It Amazingly Wonderful.
We’re All Different.
Different Wants.
Different Needs.
Different Tastes.
All Of Us.
You.
Me.
Us.
Again, I Ask WHY?!?
Is This Simply How It Goes?
Is This How Life Goes??
Is This All That I Am???
Is There Nothing More???
I Simply Don’t Know, My Peeps.
I Wish I Did, But Know I (likely) Never Will.
Which Face Am I Wearing Now?
Which Face Shall I Wear Later?
Does It Honestly Change With The Entrance Of Each New Person Into Our Day?
Which Face Are They Wearing?
Once You Start Thinking About It, You Can Almost Make Yourself Sick.
I Don’t Like The Thought.
I Don’t Like Having To Even Ponder This At All.
I’m Already Wracked With So Much Self-Doubt.
Now, I Can’t Stop Thinking About ME And Then The “ME” Whom The Rest Of The World Is Allowed To See.
They’re Very Different Creatures, Fo SHO, My Peeps.
I’m Very Guilty Of This.
Sadly…
…I Suspect You Are, Also.
Sooo…
…What Do We Do, Now?
Where Do We Go From Here??
I Suppose We Just Carry-On As We Always Do.
I’ll Be ME…
…You’ll Be YOU…
…I’ll Show You “ME“…
…You’ll Show Me “YOU“…
…And We’ll All Make Sure We Appear To Be That Which We Are Not.
Such Is Life???
So Goes Life???
Shit.
Now I Have A Headache.
"You Jivin' Me, Turkey?" 