Something To Ponder, My Peeps.

NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE Once Said…

“NO MAN, For Any Considerable Time, Can Wear One Face To Himself And Another To The Multitude Without Finally Getting Bewildered As To Which May Be The True.”

NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE ((1804–1864))

*** *** ***

Yeah.

Now, Tell Me This Quote Wasn’t Written For Me.

Not For Me Alone, No, But Totally For Me In General.

It Gets Right At The Heart Of What I’ve Been Trying To Talk About The Past Few Days.

We Lie To Ourselves So Much.

We Convince Ourselves We’re Not Good Enough…

…Not Fast Enough…

…Not Strong Enough…

…Not Attractive Enough…

…And We Do So At A Break-Neck-Pace.

Suddenly, A Life That Really Wasn’t So Bad Becomes A Living Hell.

Through No One’s Fault But Our Own, We Do This.

We Beat Ourselves Down.

Down To The Ground.

We Take What Good We Do Have Going For Us, And We Tarnish It.

We Do This All The Time.

The Big Question Is…

…As Always…

…WHY?!?!?

Does Anyone Have A Decent Answer?

Anyone??

ANYONE???

I Didn’t Think So.

Honestly…

…I Don’t Have A Decent Answer, Either.

I Wish I Did.

I Sincerely Wish I Did.

There Are Some Whom Believe I Lead A Charmed Existence.

And Then, There Are Some Whom I Couldn’t Give My Life To.

 Some May Think It So Vile.

Some May Think It Amazingly Wonderful.

We’re All Different.

Different Wants.

Different Needs.

Different Tastes.

All Of Us.

You.

Me.

Us.

Again, I Ask WHY?!?

Is This Simply How It Goes?

Is This How Life Goes??

Is This All That I Am???

Is There Nothing More???

I Simply Don’t Know, My Peeps.

I Wish I Did, But Know I (likely) Never Will.

Which Face Am I Wearing Now?

Which Face Shall I Wear Later?

Does It Honestly Change With The Entrance Of Each New Person Into Our Day?

Which Face Are They Wearing?

Once You Start Thinking About It, You Can Almost Make Yourself Sick.

I Don’t Like The Thought.

I Don’t Like Having To Even Ponder This At All.

I’m Already Wracked With So Much Self-Doubt.

Now, I Can’t Stop Thinking About ME And Then The “ME” Whom The Rest Of The World Is Allowed To See.

They’re Very Different Creatures, Fo SHO, My Peeps.

I’m Very Guilty Of This.

Sadly…

…I Suspect You Are, Also.

Sooo…

…What Do We Do, Now?

Where Do We Go From Here??

I Suppose We Just Carry-On As We Always Do.

I’ll Be ME…

…You’ll Be YOU…

…I’ll Show You “ME“…

…You’ll Show Me “YOU“…

…And We’ll All Make Sure We Appear To Be That Which We Are Not.

Such Is Life???

So Goes Life???

Shit.

Now I Have A Headache.

A Relevant Quotation That’s Sticking With Me, Today…

…Comes To Us From FYODOR MIKHAYLOVICH DOSTOYEVESKY:

“Lying To Ourselves Is MORE Deeply Ingrained Than Lying To Others.”

How’s ’bout Them Apples, My Peeps?

True?

False?

True To Truth?

What?

What Do YOU Think?

To ME…

…This Quote Is Like A MEGA-SCREAM In The Silent Stillness Of The Night.

I’ve Had It Rollin’ ’round My Brain Since Last Night…

…And I’m Still Thinking About It.

WHY?

Because, It’s So True, My Peeps.

It’s So Very VERY True.

Lying To Others Sucks, But It Can Be Even Worse When We Can’t Remember Exactly Which Lie We Told To Which Person.

Lying To One’s Self, However, Is A Totally Different Animal.

You’ve Got Time To Play With It.

To Mull It Over.

To Utter It Over AND Over Again.

Eventually, Correct OR Not…

…Right OR Wrong…

…Lie OR Truth…

…It Sticks.

Once That Happens, You’re Personally Fu*ked.

Once It’s In There, It’s Nearly Impossible To Remove It.

You’ll Remember It All Right.

You’ll Remember It Well.

You’ll Remember It Waaaaaaaay Tooooooooo Well.

Suddenly, The Lie You Told Yourself Has Become Personal Scripture.

It’s A Part Of You, Now.

Part Of Your Mental AND Emotional Make-Up.

Your Chances Of Forgetting About It Just Went To ZERO.

Or, At Least, As Close To ZERO As One Can Muster.

I’ve Lied A Lot In My Life.

I’d Be A Liar If I Didn’t Admit That.

((Huh??? What???))

BUT…

…I Find It Harder, As The Years Pass Me By, To Maintain Those Lies.

I Hate Lying.

It’s Simply A Necessary Evil, Sometimes.

And At Other Times, It’s Simply Used As A Personal Out.

An Escape.

It Also Becomes A Gut Reaction.

A Lot Of Times, We’re Much More Inclined To Lie Than To Even Consider Facing-Up To The Truth.

I Don’t Like It Anymore Than You Do, My Peeps, But You Know I’m Very Correct.

Lying Becomes Second-Nature.

One Lie Perpetuates Another…

…Perpetuates Another…

…Perpetuates Another.

Pretty Soon, You Find You’re Living A Lie.

I Don’t Want That For Myself.

I Don’t Want To Live A Lie.

The Reality Of My Situation, However, Does Make Me Think AND Reflect.

How Much Of My Life Is A Lie?

How Much Isn’t?

Do I Even Know, Anymore?

Do YOU?

“Success Has ALWAYS Been A Great Liar.” –FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

–FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE–

-(1844–1900)-

–AUTHOR–

–PHILOSOPHER–

–INTELLECTUAL–