The Song Stuck In My Head??? “I Need To Be Cleansed… It’s Time To Make Amends… For All Of The Fun… The Damage Is Done…” –DEPECHE MODE’s “TO HAVE And TO HOLD” (1987)

“…I Feel Diseased…

…I’m Down On My Knees…

…I Need Forgiveness…

…Someone To Bear Witness…

…To The Goodness Within…

…Beneath The Sin…

…Although I May Flirt…

…With All Kinds Of Dirt…

…To The Point Of Disease…

…I Want Release…

…All This Decay…

…Take It Away…

…And Somewhere…

…There’s Someone Who Cares…

…With A Heart Of Gold…

…TO HAVE And TO HOLD.”

“TO HAVE And TO HOLD” Is Off DEPECHE MODE‘s 1987 Album “MUSIC For The MASSES” !!!

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I Have Mentioned This Song…

“TO HAVE And TO HOLD“

by DEPECHE MODE

…Before, But I Honestly Didn’t Tell You WHY It’s Important To Me.

It’s Pretty Easy To See Why This Song Is Stuck In My Head.

Right???

Yes, It’s A Personal Favorite.

Yes, It’s (admittedly) NOT Everyone’s Cup’O’Tea.

It’s Slow.

It’s Quirky.

It’s Dark.

BUT…

…It’s Also Amazingly Beautiful…

…And Brilliant…

…And Simple…

…And Profound.

It’s A Song That Has Stayed Close To My Heart Seemingly Forever.

Since I Was A Teenager, Anyway.

I Know All The Words By Heart AND By Head.

During My Roughest Patches, This Song Was A Savior.

It ALWAYS Said What I Couldn’t.

I Listened To It Over AND Over.

I Did.

Hell, I Did Right Before I Decided To Write About It.

Yeah, I Can Be A “Moody Bitch”…

…And This Song Helps Carry Me Through All Of It.

It’s One Of Those Songs That Brings A Mental AND Emotional Change.

It Does.

It Carries Me, At Times.

And, I Always Come Out On The Other Side.

Usually Damaged.

But, Always Still Alive.

I’d Say That’s Good Enough.

This Song…

“TO HAVE And TO HOLD“

by DEPECHE MODE

…Has, At Times, Kept Me Alive.

It Expresses Itself Sooo Much.

So Much So, In Fact, It Takes Care Of A LOT Of MY Expressing.

It’s So Much Easier To Calm Down When You Have A Song That Feels So Deeply.

You Become Helpless In Its Grasp.

You Get Lost For A Moment.

Just Long Enough To Calm Your Ass Down, Ya Know?!

It Rarely Fails.

Don’t Worry, My Peeps, It’s VERY Safe To ENJOY The Song.

Just Be Careful Where You Sing It Out-Loud.

Other People Will Always Give You That Look As If You’ve Got Some Serious Problems.

Pfft.

What Do They Know, Anyway?!

😉       😀       😉

My Tired Eyes: Or, How Bradley Learned To Continue Worrying And Became Rutger Hauer

Oh, These Winter Blues.

Oh, How They Really Do Love Me.

Well…

…It, Honestly, Feels More Like They Really Hate Me.

Like, Really REALLY Hate Me…

…A Lot.

As I Told A Friend The Other Night…

…I Looked At My Eyes And I Said…

“I Look Tired.”

Not “Sleepy”…

…But “Tired.”

There IS A Difference.

A Difference I’m Sure Y’all Would Be Able To Distinguish Between.

I Also Told Him That My Eyes Have Seen Enough To Be Worth Four (4) More Pairs Of Them.

I’ve Seen Things With These Eyes That Would Stagger Some People.

I’ve Seen Things I’ll Never Be Able To Forget, No Matter How Hard I Try.

Exceptional Things.

Terrible Things.

Happy Things.

Horrid Things.

Some Of Which I Can Discuss, These Days.

Most Of Which I Could Never Discuss, Regardless Of The Day.

…

… … …

[[[—Right Now, Honestly, I Feel Like RUTGER HAUER At The End Of “BLADE RUNNER” When He’s On The Building’s Rooftop With HARRISON FORD.

“I’ve Seen Things You People Wouldn’t Believe…“

Ya Know It?!

The One RUTGER Eventually Closes Out By Saying:

“…All Those Moments Will Be Lost In Time, Like Tears In Rain. Time To Die.”

EXCEPT, I’m Not Dying.

AND, I Don’t I Have A Bird To Play With And Fondle.

AND, I’m Not A Replicant.

BUT, Otherwise, I’m Totally RUTGER HAUER.—]]]

… … …

…

But, They Are Tired, My Peeps.

They’re So SO Tired.

And, The More They See, The More They Experience, The More Tired They Make The Rest Of Me.

The Eyes Are Very Powerful.

Windows Into The Soul, And What-Not.

Winter Days, Like The Past Few, Really Do Bring Out My Mopey, Down-Trodden Self.

While My Very First Memory Is Of A Smell…

…Most Of My Memories Are Of That Which I’ve Witnessed.

Of Which I’ve Seen, Up-Close, In Person, Nothing Edited.

Wonders.

Horrors.

Yes, I’ve Seen AND Remember So Much In-Between…

…But, Like Most People, The Wonders AND The Horrors Stand-Out The Most.

I Remember So Much That Does Make Me Happy.

But, It All Blurs Much Easier AND Faster Than I Could’ve/Would’ve/Should’ve Expected.

It Blurs Much Easier AND Faster Than The Horrors.

The Horrors Don‘t Blur.

If Anything, They Shine More So.

They‘re More Vivid These Days Than They‘ve Ever Been.

I Close My Eyes, I See Them.

I Open My Eyes, I See Them.

Damn You, Eyes, Why Did You Ever Look?

Why Did You Ever See?

Why Did You Burn These Images Into My Mind?

They’re There Forever, Now.

To Be Recalled Over And Over Again.

Recalled For The Rest Of My Life, However Long Or Short It May Be.

Damn These Tired, Tired Eyes.

Have They Betrayed Me?

Have They Failed Me?

No.

If Anything, They’ve Worked Tooooo Well.

They’ve Picked-Up Details Most People Would Never Even Consider.

But, Damn Them Anyway.

Damn Them.

When I Sat Down To Write This, I Sincerely Didn’t Know To What End I Was Writing Toward, Nor For.

Maybe I Still Don’t.

It’s Not Finished.

At Least, It Doesn’t Feel Finished.

Not. At. All.

Not. At. All. At. All.

So…

…What‘s The Cure For Tired Eyes?

And No, I Don’t Mean Plastic Surgery On Them To Make Them Appear More Life-Like.

In Fact, I Know Of No Surgery That Could Ever Reverse The Damage.

Well…

…One Could Always Get Lobotomized.

😐