In Short…
…It Means The World At That Time.
The Point I Wish To Make With This Post Is That FORGIVENESS May Mean Life.
At Least, Now It Does.
I Was Forgiven For An Exceptional Injustice.
I Was Shocked.
I Was Amazed.
I Didn’t Feel I Deserved It…
…But I Got It.
To Be Forgiven By Another Is One Thing.
To Forgive One’s Self Is Totally Another.
He Forgave Me, Yet I Can’t Seem To Do The Same For Myself.
I Wish I Could Go Back.
I Wish I Could Stop What I Did Before It Ever Happened.
(((Side Note: I'd Cry, But I'm So Sick Right Now I Can Barely Write.)))
I Was So SO Foolish, And He Deserved Sooo Much More.
Much Better Than I Gave Him.
I Know The Eventual Outcome Wasn’t My Fault.
It Was A Moment Of Pure Stupidity On His Part.
But, That Doesn’t Change How I Feel.
I Wish It Did, But It Didn’t.
I’ve Been Sick, Since.
Since The Forgiveness.
It Just Doesn’t Feel Right.
I Wish He’d Ripped Me A New One.
I Wish He’d Dropped The Bomb On Me.
But, He Didn’t.
He Told Me I Shouldn’t Feel The Blame.
He Told Me That It Wasn’t My Fault.
That It’s Nothing I Should Ever Worry Myself About.
But, I Can’t Do That.
I Try Try TRY…
…But I Can’t Do It.
God How I Wish I Could.
I Think My Life Would Be A Lot Different Had I Sucked-It-Up And Carried-On.
But, I Didn’t.
I Let It Eat At Me.
I Let It Destroy Me.
I Let It…
…I Let it…
…I Let It.
Ya Know What, Screw This Post.
I Have So Much I Want To Say…
…Yet Know I’ll Never Be Able To.
So I’ll End This Here.
Just Know, My Peeps, That You Are Loved AND Cared About Deeply.
If I’ve Wronged You…
…I’m Sorry.
I Tend To Rub People The Wrong Way, Which Is Why I’m Apologizing.
I Can Only Hope That…
…With TIME And PATIENCE…
…I’ll Be Able To Get Beyond All Of This.
This Blog Post Is Evidence Of That.
I’m Trying To Move Beyond This, Kids.
Perhaps, One Day, I’ll Be Able To Do So.
Perhaps.
"You Jivin' Me, Turkey?" 