“LOVE And THOSE WE LOVE”

I’m Calling This Piece…

“LOVE And THOSE WE LOVE“

by BRADLEY ALAN

…Ready???

…

… … …

“I Am In Love.

I Have Been For A Long While, Now.

Problem Is, It’s UN-Reciprocated Love.

Meaning: The Person I Love Does In No Way Love Me.

I Wish He Did.

I Wish A Lot Of Things.

But, This Most Of All.

And Yet, I Know It Will Never Happen.

I’m Not His Type.

He Is Mine.

He Is Mine To A Perfect “T”.

When He’s In A Good Mood…

…As Am I.

When He’s In A Downer Mood…

…As Am I.

He Makes Me Happy.

I Could Only Hope To Make Him Happy.

So Why Even Bother?

Because, I Don’t Know Any Other Way To Be.

I Often Say I’ll Never Be Happy.

That Being Happy Is Something Beyond My Power…

…And For The Most Part, That’s Correct.

I’ve Never Known Happiness.

That Is, Until I Met Him.

He Makes Me Laugh.

He Makes Me Smile.

He Makes Me Happy.

He Makes Me Sad.

He Makes Me Contemplative.

He Makes Me Think About Things I’d Never Considered Thinking.

He Is…

…To ME…

…As Close To Perfect As One Could Be.

I Never Cease To Smile When We’re Together.

And Yet…

…This Love Is UN-Reciprocated.

One Day, Perhaps.

But, Not Today.

Not Now.

Not Anytime Soon.

And That Makes Me Sad.

It Makes Me Sad Beyond Belief.

And Yet, I Cling.

I Hang On.

I Have To.

If I Don’t, It Would Feel Like A Failure.

Another Failure.

I Am NOT A Failure.

He Constantly Reminds Me Of This.

He Reminds Me That There Is Someone Out There For Me.

But, I Don’t Want Someone Else.

I Know Who Am.

I Know What I Want.

I Know What’s Worth Waiting For.

I Know He’s Worth Everything.

So, I’ll Wait For Him.

I Deserve That.

He Deserves That.

And So, I Wait.

No Promises.

No Nothing.

It’s Just A Hope.

Hope Is What I Have.

Hope Is What We Have.

It’s Just Hard.

Hard To Be In Love.

Am I A Fool?

Am I Crazy?

No.

I Don’t Think So.

I’m Just A Man.

A Man Deeply In Love.

Foolish…

…Crazy…

…Love.

Will My Heart Be Broken?

Yeah.

Most Likely.

Do I Care?

Not. A. Bit.

Why?

Because Love Means IT.

Love Is The All.

The Everything.

The One Thing That Trumps The Highest Hand.

And I…

…Unlike Others…

…Am Willing To Suffer For It It.

Always Have Been.

Always Will Be.

Period.

I Just Wish He Felt The Same.

But He Doesn’t.

At Least, Not With Me.

He’s Promised To The Future.

Promised To The Endless Possibilities That The Future’s Willing To Spew-Forth.

He Doesn’t Love Me.

And That’s The Hardest Pill To Swallow.

To Lose-Out To The Unknown.

Does He Know I’m Here?

Does He know I’m Right Here…

…Ready, Willing And Able?

Does He Know I’d Love Him Unlike Anyone Has Ever Loved Him?

Maybe?

But In The End…

…I LOSE.

Ain’t That A Bitch.“

😦

So… I Was Informed Last Night That The Only Time I Ramblel Is When I’m Ill…

…And I Suppose I Can Agree With That.

I Do Tend To Ramble And Prattle-On When I Don’t Feel Great.

Sue Me.

My Bad.

BUT…

…Today Came Rather Early, My Peeps.

I Was Up And At ‘Em Before 3AM’ish.

I HATE Being Awake Whilst The World Sleeps.

Makes Me Feel Odd.

Makes Me Feel Like A Failure At Just One More Thing In Life.

Can’t Do Anything Else Right…

…So Why Should My Sleep/Wake-Cycle Be An Different.

I Remember Working “The Night Shift” While In The Navy.

I LOVED IT!

Of Course, My Hours Were Longer Than Everyone Else’s.

They All Worked 0700 To 1900 (7AM To 7PM).

I…

…Along With My Elder Namesake….

…Worked 1800 To 0900 (6PM To 9AM).

Talk About A Bummer Of  A Deal…

…Yet We Were Very VERY Willing To Work The Extra Hours.

You See…

…”The Night Shift” Had One Amazing Quality…

…NO SUPERVISORS.

NO BOSSES Standing Over My Shoulder…

…Criticizing Each And Every Thing I Did.

NO BOSSES To Tell Me What To Do…

…When To Do It…

…How To Do It…

…Etc Etc.

It Was Peaceful.

It Was Painless.

It Was Worth The 15-Hour Shifts.

Who Cares How Long You Work Whilst At Sea?!

EXACTLY, Mr Peeps!

Who Gives A Shit!?!

You Can’t Go Anywhere.

You’re Surrounded By The Sea…

…Or The Ocean…

…Or Wherever We Were At The Time.

I Had To Be There One-Hour Before Everyone Else Got Off Work So I Could Get The “Turn-Over” From My Fellow Journalist Shipmates.

And Then I Couldn’t Leave Until 9AM Because Of “Happy Hour” Which Meant We Had To Clean The Ship For An Hour Each Morning.

I Got Yelled-At Many A Time For Ducking-Out Early And Going To Bed.

No…

…I Was Not A Model Sailor.

I Was A Helluva Journalist…

…Just Not A Sailor.

I Think I’ve Discussed That Before, So I Won’t Go Into It.

I Just Remember Being Told And Told Over And Over Again…

“Brad, You Do A Great Job At This And That, But You’re Not Being A Team-Player, Nor Are You Fulfilling Your Duties As A Sailor On-Board This Ship. Straighten-Up, Fly Right, Or Get Burned.“

Or Something To That Effect.

And Boy Oh Boy Did They Ever Burn Me!

((hahahaahaha))

Oh, Memories.

Why Must You Be So Vivid?!

Sheesh.

😐

This Is Turning Into A Ramble, Isn’t It?!

SEE!!

I Knew It Would.

I Could Ramble For Days-On-End About The Navy And My Experiences.

Slowly, But Surely, They All Come Back To Me.

They Float To The Surface, So To Speak.

In The End, I Came To Hate Hate HATE My Time In The Navy.

And That’s Sad To Me.

I LOVED The Navy.

I LOVED My Peers And Especially My Friends.

It Was My “Superiors” That Were Intolerable.

Little People Trying To Fill Big Shoes, Ya Know?!

People Whom Were Only In-Charged Because Of Their Time And Rank.

Had They Not Hated Me So Much…

…Honestly…

…I’d Likely Still Be In The Navy.

I Could Have Handled Anything Thrown At Me Had I Had Bosses Whom Were Worth A Shit.

But They Weren’t.

So I’m Not.

Plain And Simple.

ANYWAY…

…I Shall End This Ramble, Here.

Y’all Take Care, Please.

And Be Good When Possible.

I Know…

…It Ain’t Easy.

Hell…

…What In Life Ever Is?

Exactly, My Peeps, Exactly.

Have A Damned Decent Day, Kiddies.

I’m Going To Try Doing The Same.

PEACE, Y’all!!!

😀       😀       😀

“DOWN — Certainly, Relentlessly Down! It Vibrated Within Three-Inches Of My Bosom…”

“…I Struggled Violently, Furiously, To Free My Left Arm. This Was Free Only From The Elbow To The Hand. I Could Reach The Latter, From The Platter Beside Me, To My Mouth, With Great Effort, But No Farther. Could I Have Broken The Fastenings Above The Elbow, I Would Have Seized And Attempted To Arrest The Pendulum. I Might As Well Have Attempted To Arrest An Avalanche! …“

—EDGAR ALLAN POE

(From His “THE PIT And THE PENDULUM“)

“Wow. “LAST RESORT” Was More Like “STAR TREK: UNDERWATER” Than Any Navy I Remember… …And I Liked It.” –BRADLEY ALAN

Yup.

Me.

I Said That.

It Was The First Thing That Popped-Out After The Show Was Over.

That Was My First Processing Of What I’d Seen.

And I Think The “STAR TREK UNIVERSE” Is Pissed They Didn’t Make It An Alien Planet And Call It Like I Saw It.

I So Promise.

They’re Like…

"Dammit, Hanrahan! We Should Have Done That!"

…Like For Real.

I Love My “Trek”…

…I Really Do…

…But That’s Not Why We’re Here.

This Is About The Show They’re Pissed They Didn’t Make.

REMEMBER?!?

Sheesh.

Crazy Kids.

ANYWAY…

…Yeah…

…I Liked It.

“LAST RESORT“

…On The ABC Channel…

…Was An Engaging Show.

I Will Admit A Military Bias.

I Enjoy Watching Navy (And Other Military Related) Films, Docs, Shows, Etc Etc.

Mainly Because I Wanna See What They DID And DID-NOT Get Right.

At Least…

…Based On The Navy I Lived Through.

Sometimes, I See It…

That’s A Whole Other Blog Bloggin’ing, Itself.

…BUT…

“LAST RESORT“

…Was Fun!

It Took Off Really Well.

Kept You Wondering…

…”WTF!?!?”…

…A Lot Of The Time, Which Is A GREAT THING!

I LOVE The Ole Classic…

…”WTF!?!?” !!!

Good Or Bad…

…”WTF!?!?…

…Is Generally An Equalizer With Me.

If I Go “WTF?!?! THIS IS TERRIBLE!”…

…Then It’s Bad.

If I Go “WTF?!?! Awe, NEATO!!”…

…Then It’s Likely Pretty Awesome.

See, There’s A Difference.

Either Way…

…It Makes You Like Something…

…Or Hate Something…

…Just By Being Itself.

Powerful.

SO…

…When This Sub Captain In The Show Fired Off A Nuke…

…Yeah…

…They Had My Attention.

“LAST RESORT“

…Gives Us An Interesting Concept/Storyline/Evolving-Plot  To Work With.

And It Was A PILOT EPISODE.

The First One Always Is.

And They’re Always Problematic.

They Hook Ya…

…Or Sink Ya.

😉

Right?!?

RIGHT!!!

So…

…I’ll Be Back On-Board For Week Two.

We Shall See…

…We Shall See.

As They Say.

Whom Ever They May Be… …Or Have Been… …Or Will Be.

I Dunno How That Stuff Works.

But It’s What They Say.

I’m Just Stoked To Finally Have A Series To Watch.

I HATE Regular TV.

Drives Me Crazy.

I Do Admit Having A Secret Crush On A Certain Show…

…But Whatever.

I’ll Watch This One.

This…

“LAST RESORT“

…Entity, Could Last One Season.

I Hope It At Least Gets That Far.

I Just Wanna Make Sure I’m Going To Find-Out How The Material Ends?

Please?

I Wanna See The End Of The Story.

Don’t Just Cut Our Collective-Asses Off.

We Need To See This Story Through.

I’m Curious!

😀

😉     😀     😉