“My Trials and Tribulations with Dreaming”

Having a bad Reality, at times, is one thing.
Having bad Dreams all night about said bad Reality???
O M F G it S U C K S.
The one place I hope to escape to…
…continues to be one more place I can’t really get to.
I really was a much happier person when I could go to sleep and it was like stepping off into the blackness of space (((because I’d be in such a deep deep sleep))).
Now, it’s like falling off of a cliff into a world of twisted and fucked half-memories.

I try to change my current Reality, in the hopes of bettering my future Reality.
But, when it comes to past Reality, I’m helpless.
We all are, I know that.
…I guess I really need to learn how to change my Dreams.




At moments like this, I truly envy people like My Father.

He always told me he rarely, if ever, remembers his Dreams.

I remember the bulk of mine.

And mine are rarely, if ever, pleasant.

Even those with pleasant moments are often still bad Bad BAD Dreams.

It really is ALMOST enough to push a person tooooooooooooooooo far, sometimes.

Sleep is supposed to be restful, riiiiight?

You’re not supposed to feel worse when you awaken of a morning, correct??

And, YES, I’ve had sleep-studies done.

Nothing wrong with my breathing, nor anything else they could honestly measure.

I’ve talked to ((literally)) dozens of shrinks in my lifetime.

I’ve taken every medication they can think of to sling in my direction.

And, yet, here I sit.

Typing this.

Telling you, My Peeps, instead of yet another doctor that doesn’t seem to understand a goddamn thing about Me, nor My Situation.

I don’t want a lot of My Memories.

I don’t want a lot of My Reality.

But, MOST OF ALL, I don’t want to keep having these Dreams.

I accept My Memories.

I accept some of My Reality.

But, I do NOT accept that My “Dreamland” must be tainted.

I can’t accept that.

I won’t accept that.


So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

No Sleep For The Wicked… …Or Was That Brooklyn?!

So Yeah, It’s Around 12:30AM …

…And I’m Still Up-&-About.

I Simply Can’t Get To Sleep.

I’m Exhausted.

It’s Been A Rather Long Day.

I Was Seen By My Doctor…

…And He Did Some Medication Shuffling.

More Of This.

Less Of This.

Etc Etc Etc

I’m Hoping It’ll Start Helping VERY SOON.

Like Very VERY Soon.

ANYWAY, My Peeps…

…It’s Now FRIDAY…


…I’m Going To Make Another Attempt At Sacking-Out, Now.

Wish Me Luck, My Peeps.


And NO…

…Do NOT Wish Me Bad Luck.

I Have A Truck-Load Full As It Is.


Hmm… Didn’t Get Much Sleep Last Night. Oh Flippin’ Well, I Guess… :(

Good Morning, Kiddies.


…As My Headline Plainly States…

…I Didn’t Sleep Too Well Last Night.

I Think I Have Bronchitis.

I’ve Had A Slowly Forming Cough The Past Couple Days…

…But It Really Started To Getย Noticeably Worse Last Night And Into This Morning.

There’s A Rattle In My Chest…

…Sore Throat…

…My Pulse Is WAAAAY Too Damned High…

...(106 BPM At Rest, Actually)...


…To Top It All Off…

…I Awoke With A Nose-Bleed.


Sounds Exciting, I Know.

Trust Me, It Is Not.


…I Made An Appointment Yesterday To See My Doctor Today.

So That’s Great.

They Never Get Someone In Quickly.

It’s The VA, Ya Know?!

I Call For An Appointment, And Generally Wait Weeks…

…Or Months, Honestly…

…Just To Get The Ole 60-Second Look-Over.


…My Doctor Doctor Is Actually Very Good.

He’s The One Who Finally Figured-Out What Was Really Wrong With My Stomach.

He’s The Doc That Was Able To Stop My Violent Daily Puking Episodes.

Of Course, I’m On Meds For That…

…And Will Be For The Rest Of My Life…

…But The Problem Is Held At Bay.

Can’t Ask For Much More Than That.




So Now…

…Here I Sit…

…Rapping With Y’all.

I’ve Got Some HEAVY TUNAGE Playing Softly Softly, At The Moment.

Just Trying To Ease My Way Into The Morning, Ya Know?!

Waking-Up Very Early Does Have Its Perks.

I Always Get The FIRST Cup-O-Joe In The Morning.

For Those Of You Who Don’t Know Joe…

…You Know Him By His Slang Name…


Oh, My Lovely Coffee, How I DO Adore Thee.


I Don’t Dislike Being Up-&-About In The Wee Morning Hours Of The Day.

Not. At. All.

I Just Don’t Like The Feeling Of Being More Tired When I Awaken Than I Was When I Went To Bed.


…Thus Far…

…This Is One Of Those Types Of Days.

It Was A Good Run, Though.

Four Nights Of Restful Sleep Did A Great Thing For Me.

It Helped To Re-Ground My Mental State.

I Was Simply Sleeping To Little Before…

…And I Was Paying For It With Tortured Thoughts.

Bad Dreams, Both While I Slept AND While I Was Foggishly Awake.

The Mind Can Play Horrid Tricks On A Person.

I’ll Be Speaking With My Doctor About This, Also.

Perhaps He Can Adjust My Meds To Allow For Something To Be Added That Will Help Me Perpetually Sleep Better.

I Hate Medications To The Hilt, But This May Be One Time When They’re Seriously Needed…

…And I Should Just Shut-Up And Accept That Little Tidbit.

I Wanna Thank Y’all, Again.

Thank You For Sticking With Me.

Thank You For The Kind AND Helpful Words.

T’Is Much MUCH Appreciated, My Peeps.



…I Have Plenty To Work-On This Morning…

…And So…

…Work I Shall.

Y’all Have A Fine Day, Kids.

It’s FRIDAY EVE, After-All.

I’ll Be Attempting To Do The Very Same.

You Can Count-On That.



I Don’t Know How I’m Doing It… …But I’M DOING IT.

Good Morning, My Peeps.

I’ll Just Start By Echoing The Headline…

…I Don’t Know How I’m Doing It…

…But I Am…

I’ve Been Sleeping.

I Haven’t Changed My Routine.

I Haven’t Changed Anything, Actually.

At Least, Nothing I Can Pin-Point.

The Past Four (4)-Nights, I’ve Been Getting Four (4)-Hours Of Sleep…

…Or More…

…And That’s Simply Unheard Of For Me.

I’ve Been Waking-Up Around 4A.M.

While That May Sound Too Damned Early To A Lot Of Y’all…

…For Me, It’s Sleeping-In.

And I’m Awakening Feeling Pretty Refreshed.

Like I Said…

…I Don’t Know How It’s Happening…

…But It’s Happening.

So I Sure As Shit Ain’t Gonna Knock-It.

Not. At. All.

I’ve Been In A Better Mood.

I’ve Been Doing What I Can To Keep A Positive Mindset.

It Seems/Feels Like Such A Daunting Task…

…But I’m Doing It.

I’m Still Struggling With My Emotional States…

…Or Lack Thereof…


…I’m Managing.

At Least For Now…

…I’m Managing.

I’m Just Hoping To Keep-On Keepin’-On, Ya Know?!

I’m Also Hoping This Isn’t A Fluke.

I Want This To Become A Much Moreย Permanent Gig.

How I Do That, I Haven’t The Foggiest…

…But I’m Not Above Trying.

In Fact…

…TRYING Is What I Do Best.


I Very Rarely Succeed At Anything…

…Regardless Of How Much Time And Effort I Invest…

…But That’s Life.

We Can’t All Be Good At Everything.

I Just Happen To Be Good At Next To Nothing.


…I’m Still Doing This.

I’m “Making-It-Work”, As They Say.

I Do Want To Thank Y’all.

You Crazy Kids Are Helping Keep Me Grounded, And I’m Very VERY Grateful.

I Just Hope I Don’t Disappoint Y’all.

I Greatly Appreciate What All You Do For Me…

…And I Hope To Reward Us ALL With A Success.






DUSTY And The BANDIT: “Get A Room!” Edition

Wanna Know How You Can Tell Two Cats Are VERY Comfortable With Each Other?!

Okie The Dokie.











Remember What G.I. JOE Said?!


Truer Words Were Never Spoken

By A Cartoon