“…Can’t You See It’s Misery, And Torture For Me?
When I’m Misunderstood…
…Try As Hard As You Can…
…I’ve Tried As Hard As I Could…
…To Make You See…
…How Important It Is For Me.”
“Here Is A Plea…
…From My Heart To You…
…Nobody Knows Me…
…As Well As You Do…
…You Know How Hard It Is For Me…
…To SHAKE THE DISEASE…
…That Takes Hold Of My Tongue In Situations Like These.
…Understand Me. …”
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I’ve had this song…
“SHAKE THE DISEASE“
by DEPECHE MODE
…on my mind for a few days, now.
It’s a song I’ve known, seemingly, forever.
And, yet, it has been locked inside my brain-case, rolling around over and over again.
It’s a song that says a helluva lot, especially to me.
Especially right now.
You see, I’m still dealing with the most common issue I’ve discussed with y’all many times over…
Or, well, a lack-there-of.
I still find myself fighting a personal battle with myself over the whole idea of Love, Loving, Being In-Love, and Being In-Love with someone I probably shouldn’t be In-Love with at all.
It’s just life, I know that.
It’s just a normal thing, right?
I just feel this song says exactly what I NEED it to say.
Exactly what I WANT to say, but can’t.
I remain a man lost in the throws of love and passion.
Time continues to pass me by, and yet my feelings remain the same.
I’m still In-Love.
I just don’t know how much longer I can continue to fight what seems to be a losing battle.
No one loses all the time.
There are always some elated moments of bliss.
Those moments when you’re very Very VERY sure everything is working-out and going your way.
They’re very few and far between, but they’re there.
They do exist.
I know they do, as I experience them.
And I relish in them.
But, it’s simply getting harder and harder to truly feel as though everything really is going to work-out.
I want it to.
I want nothing more than that.
I just don’t know if it’s really going to happen.
I went to bed last night with this song blaring in my mind.
I awoke this morning, and my first thought, again, was this song.
I knew the only way to get it out of my head was to write something about it.
To get it out of me and onto this screen.
And, so, here I am.
Writing about this to all of you.
Not knowing what I really want/need to be saying.
Just knowing that I MUST MUST MUST say something.