Well, I know it has been a long long while…

…But I sincerely felt the need to do-up a quick post for y’all.

You see, I got to spend tonight conversing with a close friend.

It had been forever and a day since we’d spent any time together, and the conversation was exceptionally enlightening.

We talked about this and that, and it was all very helpful to me.

Eventually, the conversation turned to life, love, and relationships.

He bluntly stated that I sincerely need to make-my-move on my best friend.

We’ve been the best of friends for quite some time, and it’s no secret at all that I’ve been madly in-love with him for the past two years.

It’s an odd situation, to say the least.

Honestly, I would have made my move a long while ago, but I just haven’t felt like the timing was proper.

Yes, I love him.

Yes, I want him.

Yes, I’d give anything to make him mine Mine MINE.

The biggest reason I haven’t made said move is because I don’t sincerely believe he would say “YES!” to my proposal.

I know it’s odd for a man to be madly in-love with his best friend, but it’s a situation I simply cannot escape.

Soooooo…

…what do I do???

He knows I love him.

He knows I care about him above all others.

He knows I’d marry him at the drop of a hat.

Sadly, I think that’s why nothing has progressed between us.

There’s no challenge.

There’s no mystery.

There’s simply He and I.

The thing is, not much would honestly change between us if we did become an exclusive item.

I just don’t know what to do, kiddies.

I’m happy.

I’m comfortable.

But, alas, I want MORE.

Period.

So, again, what does one do???

How do you tell the person you consider your closest companion that you would be even happier and more contented if he would simply marry you???

His family is in my corner.

Our friends are in my corner.

Everyone of any importance in our worlds seem to feel that we would be the ideal couple.

I totally agree.

The thing is, I don’t think he does.

That’s what’s most difficult.

If he would only say “YES!” to my advances, I’m sure life would grow by leaps and bounds.

I am a man in-lust.

I am a man in-love.

I am a man who wants what he wants, and I’m getting sick and tired of feeling unwanted and under-appreciated.

So, again, I ask “WHAT DO I DO???”

Do I throw caution to the wind and simply go for it?

Or, should I simply be contented with things as they are?

I know, I know…

…I’ve written about this same subject many a time, but the issue continues to plague me.

Am I happy? YES.

Could I be much much happier? YES YES.

And, would I give a year of my life to simply know the answer to the question that continues to haunt my day to day existence? YES YES YES.

It makes me feel pathetic at times, but I don’t rightly care.

I want what I want.

And all I want is HIM.

Period. Period. Period.

Feeling Brilliant; Feeling Foolish: It Really Is A Fine FINE Line To Travel Upon…

…And Of That There Can Be Little Debate.

Granted, There Are People Whom Can AND Will Debate Anything AND Everything.

To Those People, Honestly, I Say…

“More Power To Ya.”

To The Rest Of Us Whom Teeter-Totter On The Edge Of  The Before Mentioned “Feeling Brilliant” AND “Feeling Foolish” There Really Isn’t Much To Say Other Than…

“It’s Called LIFE. Deal With It. If You Don’t Get One Outcome, You’re ALMOST Assured To Get The Other. It’s Called LIFE.”

2013, Now More Than Half Over, Has Been A Year Filled With BOTH Feelings/Mindsets.

I Do Admit To Having A Few Truly Brilliant Moments, This Year.

True, They May Have Been Situations Where I Was Confident In The Outcome Ahead Of Time AND Was Thus Proved Correct.

But, Honestly, That Feels A Touch Beside The Point.

At Least, For Now. 😉

Sadly, However, 2013 Has Felt More And More AND MORE Like A Year Of Foolishness On My Part.

Family Issues.

Friend Issues.

Relationship Issues.

Personal Issues.

You Name It, Chances Are I Can Equate Whatever It Is Into Yet Another Foolish Moment For Yours Truly.

But, And I’m Curious About This In Many Respects, What Truly Is The Fine Line Between “Brilliance” And “Foolishness”???

Sadly, I Keep Coming Back To The Same One-Word Answer…

“SUCCESS”

Period.

If Something Is A Winner, Chances Are You’ll Be Overtly Contented.

You’ll Be Feeling The Wondrous Side Of A Success, Regardless Of What It Is.

You’ll Most Likely Even Feel A Flash Of “Brilliance” Wash Over You.

But…

…What If You Fail???

What If There Is No Real Success In Whatever It Is You’ve Attempted???

You’ll Be Feeling The Vile Side Of A Lost Chance At A Success…

…And Of That, I Sincerely Have No Doubts.

You Won’t Feel Any Waves Of “Brilliance” Afterward.

No, You’ll Be Feeling As I Do Most Of The Time.

You’ll Be Feeling Like A “Fool” And Feeling Listless In Wonder As To Where You Went Wrong.

I Think That’s Why I Love Baseball So Very Very Much.

It Truly Is More About Failure And Loss.

At Least, More So Than Anything Else.

Winning Is WONDERFUL!

Losing SUCKS ASS!

But, You Don’t Learn Much From Winning, Other Than The Elation Of The Actual Win.

You Do, On The Other Hand, Learn So So SO Much More From Defeat.

Now, I Know You’re All Waiting For Me To Divulge Some Of Said “Foolish” Moments, But I Don’t Really Think I Can.

Not Without Getting Myself, Or Others, In Trouble…

…With Someone…

…Somewhere…

…Be They Person, Or Entity.

Honestly, The Moment I’m Going To Briefly Mention Is A Combo Of BOTH “Brilliance” AND “Foolishness” Like You Wouldn’t Believe.

You See, My Peeps My Friends The Kiddies, I’ve Been Living Through A Self-Imposed EXILE For Almost A Month, Now.

It’s Honestly Killing Me.

I’ve Never EVER Felt So Alone In My Life.

Hell, I Spent A Couple Months In Boot-Camp, Which Was About The Loneliest Time In My Life…

…Until Now.

I Feel So Alone Because I’ve Simply Been Toooooooooooooo Damned Embarrassed To Be Around Other People.

Period.

Other Than My Immediate Family, Only ONE PERSON Has Seen Me AND Spent Time With Me While I’m In This Condition.

For Those Of You Whom Don’t Know…

…I FINALLY GOT MY ORAL SURGERY!

I Got It Last Month.

I’m Literally About Two-Weeks Away From Having A Perfect Smile, Again!

I Couldn’t Be Happier About That Part.

It’s The Waiting In-Between PHASE I And PHASE II That’s The Killer.

I Do Feel Brilliant For Finally Pulling The Trigger, Plunking Down The Money I Can’t Afford To Burn In Any Way, And Getting ALL Of My Teeth Fixed.

Trust Me, Kids, Years And Years AND YEARS Of Acid Erosion Can Be Dentally Devastating.

I’m A Living, Breathing Poster-Board For It.

Sadly, I Also Am Feeling Very VERY Foolish.

Foolish Because I Have, More Or Less, Gone Into Total Hiding.

I Don’t Go Anywhere ((save my morning walks)).

I Don’t Meet Other People.

I Stay As Totally Off The Social Grid As Possible.

I’m Sad, Yes.

I’m Lonely, Yes.

I’m Going Out Of My Mind In The Want/Need To Spend Time With Those Other People I Care Deeply For.

But, As Foolish As This Exile Has Been…

…For Me, Personally Personally, It Has Been Bordering On Brilliant.

I’ve Looked Bad In The Past…

…But I Really Don’t Want People Seeing Me At My Absolute Worst.

I’m Far Toooooo Self-Conscious For That.

So, By Adding The Pains Of Loneliness…

…Sadness…

…And Racing Thoughts…

…It Adds Up To A Bit Of The “Foolish Factor” Feeling.

BUT, By Removing The Pains Of Embarrassment…

…And Extreme Paranoia Due To The Overt Self-Conscious Issues…

…I’m Experiencing A Touch Of The Ole “Brilliance Factor” Feeling, Also.

😀

Sooooooooooooo…

…What Do You Think?

Am I Just Being Foolish??

Or, Is There Even A Hint Of Brilliance To It???

Do YOU Often Feel Like This????

--Yeah. You. In The Back. Pretending Not To Be Reading Over The Other Person's Shoulder.--

Do YOU Often Feel Like This, My Peeps?????

My Curiosity Abounds!

😀       😉       😀