“A (Closing) Scene Of Horror” by BRADLEY ALAN (c) 2003 & 2013

A (Closing) Scene Of Horror

by BRADLEY ALAN

(c) 2003 & 2013

Philip and Albert (Phil and Al)…

…are trapped together in a building of some sort. Perhaps a Barn or an Older Storage Room/Locker.

Something like that.

Philip is mainly uninjured, but appears to be pinned into a corner…

…Somehow.

…OR…

…Maybe he just doesn’t want to come out of it. Hmm. Nobody truly knows but he, himself.

Albert has a large object crushing his right-leg just above the knee.

Farm Equipment?

Industrial-Sized AirConditioner?

Something large, heavy, and appropriate to the setting that also could have fallen from above and landed on this dude.

They Talk Together.

Simply.

Quietly.

Philip is doing his best to keep Albert as calm as possible.

Albert thinks he’s going to die, and Philip is pretty damn sure Albert is going to die.

There’s no way for Philip to move whatever it is that’s crushing Albert’s leg.

Period.

So, As I said, Philip is trying to keep Albert calm.

They’ve been trapped wherever they are for a couple hours, now.

They’re tired.

Exhausted, really.

They’ve lasted the longest.

They’re the ones still standing at the end (except for Albert whom will do no more standing).

They’re waiting.

Waiting to die.

But, they’re still fighting the good fight.

They’re still alive.

They’ve come this far.

They Talk Together.

Simply.

Quietly.

=== === === === === === ===

PHIL:  “Wish I Knew The Time.”

AL:  “You… You Keep Saying That.”

PHIL:  “Because I Still Want To Know, Dude.”

AL:  “Oh. Ri… Right.”

PHIL:  “Hey, Question?”

AL:  “Oh… Okay. What?”

PHIL:  “Do You Ever Watch Movies That Have The Larger Than Life Characters…”

AL:  “Yeah… Sure.”

PHIL:  “I Wasn’t Done.”

AL:  “Fuckin’ Sorry, Alright… …Continue…?”

PHIL:  “So You Watch The Movies, And You See This Guy.”

AL:  “Yeah?”

PHIL:  “Goddammit, Let Me Finish, Please?!”

AL:  “Fuckin’ Sorry!”

PHIL:  “So You See Him, And You Wonder What It Felt Like To Be Him, Ya Know?!”

AL:  “What Kind Of Guy Are We Talking About?! Batman’ish, Or Something?!”

PHIL:  “No, No. Like, The Godfather, Or Rocky, Or Like, Spartacus, Or General Patton?”

AL:  “Patton, Eh?”

PHIL:  “Sure. He Was Pretty Awesome. If We Were Going To Live Through This, I’d Watch It With You. Or, You Could Watch It With Me. My Treat.”

AL:  “Why The Fuck Not. That’s Cool, Dude. I’m Grateful.”

PHIL:  “Sooo… Would You Want To Be General Patton, Or Fuckin’ Not?!”

AL:  “Why The Fuck Not.”

PHIL:  “Whatever Floats Your Boat, Right?”

AL:  “Do You Think I’d Be A Good General?”

PHIL:  “What?! Now!?!”

AL:  “Sure?”

PHIL:  “Do They Allow One-Legged Generals?”

AL:  “I Could Get A Peg, Couldn’t I?!”

PHIL:  “You Were In The Navy, Not Me, Dude.”

AL:  “Those Are Admirals, Man. Not… Not Generals. I Know Admirals Can Get Pegs.”

PHIL:  “What?!”

AL:  “Wish I Could Shift. My Ass Has Been Asleep For… For… Sheesh.”

PHIL:  “Wish I Knew The Time.”

=== === === === === === ===

After PHIL Utters The Phrase The Final Time, I Envisioned A Pulling Back Shot Of The Two Of Them As The Screen Fades To WHITE.

Just As It’s Ending, We Hear A Loud Crashing Noise.

We Then Hear Both Men Scream A Bit.

Then We Hear Some Struggling And Moaning.

And Finally, We Hear The Screaming Replaced By Gurgling Noises.

And Then It Ends.

We Do Not See Their Demise, But We’re Sure They Met It.

At Least, We THINK We’re Sure. 😉

I Think That Will Do Just Fine. 😀

Just Remember…

…This Is A “BMovie” We’re Talking About.

A Sort-Of Parody Of The Horror Genera.

Something Worthy Of The SYFY Channel.

Ya Feel Me?!

Do Y’all Get My Jive?!

GREAT!!

I Just KNEW You WOULD!!!

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

😀       😀       😀

I Was “James Bond”, Once… …Once.

ALRIGHT, Let’s Begin.

So, I Found This Photo Over The Weekend, And I’ve Been Trying To Think About How To Explain It, It’s Significance, And The Significance Of The Cache Of Original Material I Found Along With It.

In Case You Can’t Tell…

…’Cause Most Of Y’all Can’t…

…I’m The Snappy-Dresser On The Left.

Go Ahead.

Look Again.

Now…

…Don’t I Look Like “JAMES BOND”?!?

GREAT!!!

Because That’s Exactly Who I Was Supposed To Be At The Time This Photo Was Taken.

This Was The Promotional Photo For The 1996/1997 High School Parody Film, Made For A Class Project.

The Name Of The Flick Was…

And NO I’m NOT Lying

4 “DICKS” AND A CHICK

😀

YES, My Peeps…

…I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE That Was The OFFICIAL Title.

Seriously.

That’s The Really REAL Name.

We Got Away With Calling It That Because We Were A Band Of Four (4) PRIVATE DETECTIVES.

And…

…Since The Nickname For A PRIVATE DETECTIVE Is “PRIVATE DICK”…

…Well…

…That Was Considered Acceptable.

So…

…I Mean, Come On…

…Who Among You Wouldn’t Call At Movie By A Name Like That If You KNEW It Was Going To Be Acceptable?!?!?

Remember…

…You’re 17-Years-Old.

EXACTLY, My Peeps!!!

Damn Near ALL OF YOU Would Have Totally Gone For It.

And We Were No Different.

The “4 DICKS”  Were PARODIES Of…

JAMES BOND

COLUMBO

THE HIGHLANDER

ELIOT NESS

…And The CHICK Was…

BETTY CROCKER

(Codename: “HOOVA“)

😀     😀     😀

I’m Totally Not Making This Shit Up, My Peeps.

This Was Our Class Movie.

Doesn’t It Just Figure I Was An “A/V” Geek, Also?!

SURE IT DOES!!

O.M.F.G.

Just Remembering All Of This Is Making Me Laugh, And Laugh HARD.

The Plot Went Something Like…

…We Were Hired To Steal “Colonel Sanders” Famous Chicken Recipe For “Hardee’s”

…Or Some Such Nonsense…

…And Our Contact On The Inside Was “The Colonel’s Former Mistress” Whom Just So Happened To Be…

…Yep…

BETTY CROCKER

…Though We Didn’t Know It Was “BETTY” At The Time.

We Were Using Her Codename, “HOOVA“!!!

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! !!! !!!)

Sheesh.

Yeah.

We Were So SO AWESOME…

…NOT!

😉

😀       😀

Well…

…We Thought We Were At The Time.

So That’s Good Enough To Justify Our Actions.

At Least…

…I Think It Does.

Maybe?!

ANYWAY…

…Regardless Of All The Nonsense And Whatnot…

…This Class Was Where I Developed My Already Budding “A/V” Skills That Helped Me Get Into The Idea Of Becoming A JOURNALIST For The NAVY.

I Already Knew I Was Going To Go Into The NAVY.

That Plan Was Fixed.

Set.

Nothing Was Going To Change My Mind.

And Nothing Did Change My Mind.

The Only Change Was The Job I’d Be Doing.

I Was Actually Considering A Few Possibilities Before Finding-Out About The “JO” Rate In The NAVY.

“JO” Being The NAVY’S Abbreviated Term For A JOURNALIST.

BAAM!!!

That’s All She Wrote.

I Knew What I Wanted To Do.

Period.

And By Gum I Did It, Too.

And I Owe A Bundle Of The Skilled-Knowledge I Went Into The Journalism Program With To THIS CLASS.

I Took The Class Twice, Actually.

As A Junior AND As A Senior.

They Had A Special Stipulation For The Class That Allowed Me To Take It The Second Time.

And I Loved It.

Absolutely Loved It.

That’s One Of The Few Things I Loved About That High School…

…The “A/V” Program.

The Rest Is History.

🙂     😀     🙂

So…

…Quickly About My Cache Of Material, Found Along With The Silly-Ass Photo Above.

I Found My Personal Mother-Load!!!

Scenes I’d Written.

Plot Outlines.

Character Ideas.

Titles.

You Name It, I Found It.

And It’s All MINE!!!

(MMMUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

MINE MINE MINE!!!

So…

…As Time Goes On…

…Be Expecting Me To Toss Some Of That Original Material On You.

I Have Everything From…

…Horror Scenes…

…To A 1920s/1930s Radio Serial Show Outline.

From A Disaster Epic…

…To En Erotic Love-Story/Murder-Mystery.

It’s All Here, Kids.

Well…

…Not All Of It.

I Have More…

…Somewhere…

…Someplace…

…But I’ll Find It.

So BE READY, My Peeps!!!

This Could Get Really REALLY INTERESTING!!!

At Least, I Sure As Shit HOPE IT DOES!!!

😉       😉

I’ll Be In-Touch, My Peeps.

HOLLA AT Y’ALL L8R!!!

PEACE!!!

😀       😀       😀       😀       😀