…And It Felt Very VERY Relevant To What I’ve Been Doing Of Late.
“The Man Who Writes About Himself AND His Own Time Is The Only Man Who Writes About All People AND About All Time.”
—GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
I May Not See It Exactly As SHAW Had, But I Get The Gist Of What He Was Saying.
I Write About Myself, Mainly, Because I’m What I Know.
A Person MUST Write What They Know, And I’m The One Subject I Know The Best.
Sometimes, I Wish I Didn’t Know Myself So Well.
Sometimes, I Wish I Could Just Turn It All Off.
As Kids, My Brother Had A Standing Order For Xmas Or Birthday Gifts.
He Wanted A “Remote Controlled Bradley” So He Could “Turn Him Off“!!!
😦
I’m Not Even Joking There, My Peeps.
That’s Exactly What He Wanted.
People Have Wanted To Turn Me Off The Bulk Of My Life.
It Comes With The Territory.
It Goes Hand–N–Hand With Mental Illness.
No One Knows How To Fix You…
…Yet Everyone Wants To.
Even Little Brothers.
So, What Can I Say Toward That?
Honestly, Not Much.
I Do Wish I Had An Off-Switch.
It Would Have Come In Handy Many, Many Times.
But, Alas, I Do Not.
So, Now What?!
Help Me Here, My Peeps.
What’s Up?
What’s The Story?
What’s The Scoop??
What Can I Do???
It’s Just A Bit After 5AM…
…Yet, Here I Sit…
…Talking To Y’all…
…Wishing I Had More To Honestly Say.
Everything I Want To Say, I Can’t.
Everything I Want To Do, I Can’t.
So, Where Does That Leave Us?
If You Said “Right Back Where We Started“ You’d Be Very Much Correct.
I’m Tired.
I Feel Used-Up.
I Feel Worn-Out.
Maybe I Should Try Going Back To Bed?
Well, I Would If I Knew It Would Be A Positive.
But, It Wouldn’t Be.
It’d Just Be More Of The Same.
Tossing.
Turning.
Blankly–Staring.
I Just Don’t Know, My Peeps.
I Sincerely Don’t Know.
I Do Know I Don’t Write For All People…
…Nor For All Time.
I’m Just Here.
I’m Just Me.
I’m Just Writing What Feels Right.
Even Though, Sometimes, It’s Very VERY Wrong.
I Hate My Brain.
I Hate My Heart.
I Hate Everything About Myself.
Why?
Because, I Don’t Function Properly.
I Can Be The Nicest, Most Charming Person Around.
And, Then, In The Same Breath, I Can Be Malicious.
I Can Be Cruel.
I Can Be Evil.
Life’s Funny That Way, I Suppose.
Is It Funny I Find That Funny?
Is It Wrong?
Is It In Bad-Taste?
I Just Don’t Know.
I Do Know It’s Time To End This Ramble.
I’m Just Not Feeling It.
I Started–Out Shaky On The Subject…
…And I Remain So.
So, I’ll Just Shut-Up.
Perhaps Later I’ll Be More Able To Convey My Thoughts And Feelings.
Right Now…
…Both MY MIND And MY HEART Are In A Very Dark Place.
Trying To Work When I’m Like This Is Generally A Bad Thing.
Nothing Good Has Ever Come Of It…
…And I Don’t See Any Good Coming Anytime Soon.
Perhaps Later?
Perhaps.
"You Jivin' Me, Turkey?" 