What’s On NOW?!: John Carpenter’s “CHRISTINE” (1983)

Y’all Already Know Of My Love For All Things…

JOHN CARPENTER

…And This One Is No Exception.

So…

…Do Y’all Know About…

CHRISTINE

(1983)

??? ??? ???

If You DO…

…AWESOME OPOSSUM!!!

If You DO NOT…

…Then Allow Me To Educate You!!!

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The Title Character In This Flick Is No Woman…

…Or…

…At Least…

…Not A Woman Woman Woman-Type-Woman.

Nope.

This “CHRISTINE” Is A 1958 PLYMOUTH FURY!!!

Are You Cornfused Already?

Lord I Hope Not.

(teehehe)

She’s A Killer Car…

…That’s Also A Killer Killer Killer-Type-Killer.

Wanna Try And Stop Her?

HA!

Goooood Luck With Allllll That!

She’s Virtually Indestructible.

She’s A Ferocious Killing Machine…

…And She’s The Property Of Young…

“ARNIE CUNNINGHAM”

(Portrayed By KEITH GORDON)

…A High School Geek Who Used To Get Picked-On And Bullied Every Single Day.

But Not Anymore.

His Personality Has Undergone A Major Change.

Why?

Because He Bought “CHRISTINE” That’s Why.

She’s A Powerful Evil Presence…

…And She’s Found The New Love Of Her Life…

…Just As Young “ARNIE” Has.

They’re A Hitched-Pair, Now.

He Drives Her AND Takes Care Of Her AND Loves Her.

She Loves Him AND Will Destroy Anyone Or Anything That Tries To Come Between Them.

Sounds Like A Crazy Plot-Line For A Flick, Sure.

But Isn’t That Was Makes Movies FUN!?!

YOU BETCHA IT IS!!!

CHRISTINE

…Is Based On The Novel Of The Same Name From Horror Master…

STEPHEN KING

!!! !!! !!!

How Could Anyone Ask For More?!

JOHN CARPENTER

…Directing A Novel By…

STEPHEN KING

?!?!?

O.M.G.

Sounds Like A Match Made In Movie Heaven…

…Or Movie Hell…

…Depending On How You Wanna Look At It.

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I Would Venture To Call…

CHRISTINE

JOHN CARPENTER‘s More Forgotten Classic.

A Lot Of People Younger Than I Have Never Heard Of It.

That Does Chap My Ass, Sometimes.

I Meet People Who Claim To Be Movie Buffs…

…Yet They’ve Never Bothered To See MOST Of The Movies I Greatly Enjoy.

I Guess That’s Why People Like Myself Are Crucial.

We Discuss The Things Others Haven’t A Clue About.

That Makes Me Feel Much More Needed AND Necessary.

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CHRISTINE

…Co-Stars…

JOHN STOCKWELL

&

ALEXANDRA PAUL

…As Young “ARNIE”‘s Best Friend And His Girlfriend.

It Also Stars To Of My Favorites…

ROBERT PROSKY

(“THE GREAT OUTDOORS” Anyone?!)

…And…

HARRY DEAN STANTON

(“ALIEN“? Riiight!!!)

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Is “CHRISTINE” The Flick For You?

Hmm.

Maybe.

Do You Enjoy Classic ’80s Horror?

Do You Enjoy Unconventional Plots?

Do You Enjoy Listening To The Oldies Station?

Do You Love Killer Cars…

…That Also Happen To Be Killers?

IF That’s A Big Ole FO SHO I’m Hearing From Y’all…

…Then YES…

…YES…

CHRISTINE

…May Very Well Be Right Up Your Proverbial Alley.

It’s A Rather Smart Little Horror Film…

…A Personal Favorite…

…And A Mainly Forgotten Classic.

It IS The Weekend…

…So Why Don’t You Try Finding This One On The NetFlix…

…Or Even At Your Local Video Store.

I PROMISE…

…It’s So So SO Worth It, My Peeps.

Nothing Wrong With Giving It The Ole College-Try…

Right?!

RIGHT!!!

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