What’s On NOW?!: John Carpenter’s “CHRISTINE” (1983)

Y’all Already Know Of My Love For All Things…

JOHN CARPENTER

…And This One Is No Exception.

So…

…Do Y’all Know About…

CHRISTINE

(1983)

??? ??? ???

If You DO…

…AWESOME OPOSSUM!!!

If You DO NOT…

…Then Allow Me To Educate You!!!

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The Title Character In This Flick Is No Woman…

…Or…

…At Least…

…Not A Woman Woman Woman-Type-Woman.

Nope.

This “CHRISTINE” Is A 1958 PLYMOUTH FURY!!!

Are You Cornfused Already?

Lord I Hope Not.

(teehehe)

She’s A Killer Car…

…That’s Also A Killer Killer Killer-Type-Killer.

Wanna Try And Stop Her?

HA!

Goooood Luck With Allllll That!

She’s Virtually Indestructible.

She’s A Ferocious Killing Machine…

…And She’s The Property Of Young…

“ARNIE CUNNINGHAM”

(Portrayed By KEITH GORDON)

…A High School Geek Who Used To Get Picked-On And Bullied Every Single Day.

But Not Anymore.

His Personality Has Undergone A Major Change.

Why?

Because He Bought “CHRISTINE” That’s Why.

She’s A Powerful Evil Presence…

…And She’s Found The New Love Of Her Life…

…Just As Young “ARNIE” Has.

They’re A Hitched-Pair, Now.

He Drives Her AND Takes Care Of Her AND Loves Her.

She Loves Him AND Will Destroy Anyone Or Anything That Tries To Come Between Them.

Sounds Like A Crazy Plot-Line For A Flick, Sure.

But Isn’t That Was Makes Movies FUN!?!

YOU BETCHA IT IS!!!

CHRISTINE

…Is Based On The Novel Of The Same Name From Horror Master…

STEPHEN KING

!!! !!! !!!

How Could Anyone Ask For More?!

JOHN CARPENTER

…Directing A Novel By…

STEPHEN KING

?!?!?

O.M.G.

Sounds Like A Match Made In Movie Heaven…

…Or Movie Hell…

…Depending On How You Wanna Look At It.

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I Would Venture To Call…

CHRISTINE

JOHN CARPENTER‘s More Forgotten Classic.

A Lot Of People Younger Than I Have Never Heard Of It.

That Does Chap My Ass, Sometimes.

I Meet People Who Claim To Be Movie Buffs…

…Yet They’ve Never Bothered To See MOST Of The Movies I Greatly Enjoy.

I Guess That’s Why People Like Myself Are Crucial.

We Discuss The Things Others Haven’t A Clue About.

That Makes Me Feel Much More Needed AND Necessary.

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CHRISTINE

…Co-Stars…

JOHN STOCKWELL

&

ALEXANDRA PAUL

…As Young “ARNIE”‘s Best Friend And His Girlfriend.

It Also Stars To Of My Favorites…

ROBERT PROSKY

(“THE GREAT OUTDOORS” Anyone?!)

…And…

HARRY DEAN STANTON

(“ALIEN“? Riiight!!!)

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Is “CHRISTINE” The Flick For You?

Hmm.

Maybe.

Do You Enjoy Classic ’80s Horror?

Do You Enjoy Unconventional Plots?

Do You Enjoy Listening To The Oldies Station?

Do You Love Killer Cars…

…That Also Happen To Be Killers?

IF That’s A Big Ole FO SHO I’m Hearing From Y’all…

…Then YES…

…YES…

CHRISTINE

…May Very Well Be Right Up Your Proverbial Alley.

It’s A Rather Smart Little Horror Film…

…A Personal Favorite…

…And A Mainly Forgotten Classic.

It IS The Weekend…

…So Why Don’t You Try Finding This One On The NetFlix…

…Or Even At Your Local Video Store.

I PROMISE…

…It’s So So SO Worth It, My Peeps.

Nothing Wrong With Giving It The Ole College-Try…

Right?!

RIGHT!!!

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β€œTHE BEST” -Vs- β€œMY FAVORITE”: Episode II: “It’s All In The Reflexes.”

Howdy, Kids.

What’s Shakin’?

Yeah…

…Not Much Here, Either.

T’Is Another Of Those Mornings Where I’m Awake Way Too Damned Early.

It’s My Fault, Though.

Went To Bed Too Damned Early.

What’Ya’Gonna’Do, Ya Know?!

Exactly My Point!!

Anyway…

…I Digress.

Let’s Get To The Meat Of This Thing, Shall We?!

LETS!!

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In This Episode…

…I Wish To Cover A Couple Modern-Day Directors.

I’ll Begin With A Personal Favorite Of Mine…

…And Someone I Know Some Of You Really Enjoy…

JOHN CARPENTER

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So…

…What’s JOHN CARPENTER‘s BEST Work?!

Well…

…There Are Two Schools Of Thought On This One.

Some Believe His BEST Work To Be…

HALLOWEEN

(1978)

…And It Is Hard To Scoff At That One.

I LOVE The Original…

HALLOWEEN

…Very VERY Much So.

The Other School…

…However…

…Would Say…

THE THING

(1982)

…Is…

THE BEST

…Of His Work.

That One Is Even Harder To Scoff At…

…At Least For ME…

…Because I’m Of That School.

I Think…

THE THING

…Is His BEST Work.

.Period.

BUT…

…Are Either Of Those Films…

MY FAVORITE

??? ???

No.

I Love Them Both Dearly…

…And Have Owned Copies Of Both (in one format or another) For The Past Two-Decades.

So What Is…

MY FAVORITE

???????

That Would Be…

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

(1986)

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Yes…

…I’m VERY Well Aware…

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

…Is An Inferior Film To Both…

HALLOWEEN

…And…

THE THING

…So You Don’t Have To Remind Me Of That Fact.

I’m With You, My Peeps.

I Am.

BUT…

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

…Is The Flick Attached To The Most Memories.

It’s The Film I Never Could Get Enough Of.

It’s The Film I Sit-Down To Watch With My Nephew When We Both Need A Bit Of Escapist Adventure.

It’s The Film I Had To Place A Special Order For While In The Navy Because It Sold-Out At The Video Store The First Day It Was Released.

No Foolies, My Peeps.

HALLOWEEN

???

LOVE IT!

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THE THING

???

LOVE IT LOVE IT!

πŸ™‚

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

???

LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH IT’S CRAZY!!!

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The Second Director I Wish To Cover Is Another Modern Fan Favorite…

WES CRAVEN

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So What’s WES CRAVEN‘s BEST Work?

???

Well…

…Again…

…There Are Two Schools Of Thought At Play, Here.

Some Say It’s His Original Directorial Work…

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

(1972)

…And I Can Understand And AGREE With That Line Of Thought.

It IS A Truly Powerful Work, To Say The Least.

It’s Gritty.

It’s Nasty.

It’s So Damned Realistic You Feel Like You’re Watching A Snuff-Film.

It Would Get My Vote As His BEST.

The Other School Would Easily Say…

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

(1984)

…Is…

THE BEST

…Which Is Also Hard Not To Agree With.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

…Is An Iconic Piece Of Work…

…Just Like JOHN CARPENTER‘s…

HALLOWEEN

…Both Of Which Have Spawned What Seems Like An Endless Stream Of Sequels.

.Period.

BUT BUT BUT…

…Are Either…

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

…Or…

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

MY FAVORITE

…Of His Works?

??? ??? ???

Nope.

That Honor Goes To…

SWAMP THING

(1982)

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Now Don’t Get To Laughing At Me So Soon!

I Do Admit…

…It’s An Odd Choice.

It’s Drastically Inferior To Both Of The Preceding Flicks…

…Sure Sure Sure…

…But Does That Change My Feeling???

NOT. IN. THE. SLIGHTEST.

.PERIOD.

SWAMP THING

…Has Been My Personal Favorite Since The Beginning.

It’s Another I’ve Owned (in one format or another) Since It’s Initial Release On VHS.

I Would Venture To Guess I’ve Seen…

SWAMP THING

…Perhaps…

…Oh…

…412 Times?!

Perhaps Even…

…Oh…

….4,012 Times?!

I Don’t Really Know.

I Just Know It’s A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!

SWAMP THING

…Was A Childhood Hero Of Mine…

…And He Remains So To This Very Day.

Next Time My Nephew Is Here With Me, I Plan To Bust-Out The…

SWAMP THING

…And Have Him Check-It-Out.

I Think It’s A Flick He’d Truly Get A Major Kick Out Of.

FO SHO, My Peeps!!!

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Was That FUN For Y’all?!

I SURE HOPE SO!!!

It Was Fun For Me, Anyway!!!

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Please Try To Enjoy The Day, Kiddies.

Y’all Hang-In-There.

Take Care.

Be Good.

See Me Soon.

And Talk To Me Sooner.

L8r, Taters!!!

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