Later Nights… …Earlier Mornings: An Insomniac’s Tale of Life and Love

I’m not altogether sure where this is going to go…

…BUT…

…I am sure it’s going to go somewhere.

So stick with me, please?

Thanks!

… … …

.. ..

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Have you ever been torn, My Peeps?

Wow.

Wait.

Okay, I do realize that can be taken sooooo many ways…

(((many of them dirty dirty)))

…so I’ll do my best to clarify.

Have you ever been torn by LOVE?

Knowing you want to be with someone, but knowing you really enjoy the person you’re with at that moment?

Well…

…it has happened to me.

It has happened multiple times, honest.

As far back as I could remember, I was generally with one person while already having wanted, and still wanting, to be with a certain someone else.

I get with someone because they’re very special to me, but all the while I have someone else on the front of my brain.

Someone else whom I already love/want/need/require.

Someone else whom I know I probably can never, and will never, truly call “MINE.”

And, no matter how wonderful things might become with the one person, you still yearn for the certain someone else.

Knowing/Hoping/Feeling/Thinking things WOULD be better if you were truly with the someone else.

It’s crazy, I know.

But, I also believe it to be human nature.

Right?

I mean, it is, right?

“The Grass Is Always Greener Somewhere F*ckin’ Else, And All That Jazz!”

That’s how that goes, riiiiiiight?

Hmm.

Moving On.

Until last night, I truly was torn.

Torn between the lover I once had, whom is now an exceptionally close friend…

…and the man I’ve loved for over a year, whom isn’t mine in any way except in the ways that should truly truly matter.

I’ve been torn, because I can’t spend all the time with the both of them that I’d really like.

And, honestly, it had become harder to juggle.

Last night, however, I had a long talk with the now friend (former lover).

We discussed so much, it was amazing.

He’s not the easiest to speak to at times when the conversation is of a personal nature such as this one was.

But, last night, he was jovial.

He was kind.

He was insightful.

He was respectful.

And he flat-out told me that he felt things would be better for ME if I really did spend more time with the someone else.

He’s not dismissing me.

We’re still going to see each other a lot.

But, now, I truly have the freedom to spend all the time with the someone else whenever I choose.

I won’t have to dance around and be pissy because I have to cancel on one to see the other.

My friend wishes me to explore things with the someone else, knowing now how I truly feel.

Thing is, all of this took place around MIDNIGHT.

And it didn’t end there.

My friend and I stayed up talking for hours and hours, and it was a truly grand experience.

We watched some “BATTLESTAR GALACTICA” and some “STAR TREK: TNG”…

…and then we watched “DARKMAN” on the Blu-ray.

By 3:30am, I was texting with the someone else.

And things couldn’t be better, at least in regard to all of the before mentioned.

We’re cool.

We’re all cool.

So, for the first time in a long time, the tension I’ve felt has lifted.

I feel amazingly contented and relaxed.

I’m happy.

Happy to know I didn’t lose a good friend.

Happy to know I didn’t lose the man I love.

Happy to know things are working out exactly as I had hoped, instead of how I had sadly expected.

Expectations can be a major High, or a major Low Low Low.

I was in the midst of a Low Low Low mindset toward my Expectations.

Instead, I was surprised with the elation of everything working out as I’d truly hoped hoped hoped they would.

Amazing.

I finally went to sleep around 5:30am…

…and was awake and writing this by 7:30am.

I know good moods aren’t forever.

They don’t last.

They can’t last.

Not really real ones.

But, for now, I’m into a really good mood mindset.

And I’m really hoping it’s able to perpetuate for a while.

That would be very nice.

I could use more good days.

This is the first time in a long long long time my not being able to sleep has led to something positive.

Insomnia almost always sucks ass.

Last night, it was an asset.

Go figure, eh?

Yeah.

Go figure.

πŸ˜‰

So... Are YOU Jivin Me -questionmark-

DEPECHE MODE… …Strikes Again… “IT’S NO GOOD” (1997)

I’m Gonna Take My Time

I Have All The Time In The World

To Make You Mine

It Is Written In The Stars Above

The Gods Decree

You’ll Be Right Here By My Side

Right Next To Me

You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide. …”

… …

Ultra - Depeche Mode (via Amazon.com)

IT’S NO GOODWas THE SONG From The Hit Album ULTRA, Released In 1997, By International Supergroup DEPECHE MODE !!!

… …

“…Don’t Say You Want Me

Don’t Say You Need Me

Don’t Say You Love Me

It’s Understood

Don’t Say You’re Happy

Out There Without Me

I Know You Can’t Be

‘Cause IT’S NO GOOD. …”

.. … … … ..

. .. .. .. .

Generally…

…This Is The Point Were I Swoop.

I Swoop In And Use My Powers To Tackle A Song And Make It My Own In A Very Minor Way.

I Figured Now Would Be Perfect For This Amazingly Wonderful Jam…

DEPECHE MODE‘s

IT’S NO GOOD

It’s A Personal Favorite, Hands Down And FO SHO, My Peeps

I Hope You Dig The Jive OfΒ  This One.

You Already Know I DO!!!

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β Β Β  :O Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

<<<<<<<{*}>>>>>>>

<<<{*}>>>

An Amazing Song That’s Eating Me Alive: “POLICY Of TRUTH” by DEPECHE MODE (1990)

“…Now You’re Standing There Tongue Tied

You’d Better Learn Your Lesson Well

Hide What You Have To Hide

And Tell What You have To Tell…”

POLICY Of TRUTHIs One Of The Most Classic Of All Classics From DEPECHE MODE‘s 1990 AlbumVIOLATOR!!!

“…You’ll See Your Problems Multiplied

If You Continually Decide

To Faithfully Pursue

The

POLICY Of TRUTH…”

***<{*}>***

<*>

So, What Is This?!

Is This How It’s Supposed To Be?!

Me…

…Here…

…Awake…

…As My World Sleeps…

…Constantly Reminding Me Of My Issues?!

I Sincerely Hope Not.

But That IS Sincerely How It FEELS.

I Hate Not Being Able To Sleep.

It’s Rather Maddening, Actually.

Lucky For Me, I Have My Music.

More Specifically…

…Lucky For Me, I Have My…

VIOLATOR

Period.

When You Can’t Sleep…

…The Pulsing Rhythms And Lyrical Brilliance Of…

DEPECHE MODE

…Can Honestly Easy The Pain And Suffering Of Yet Another Lost Night Of Quality Rest.

I Know I’ve Listened To This Album More Than Any Other.

More Than Any Other BY FAR.

And I Still Love It.

I Love Every Track.

All NINE (9) Of Them.

I Really Don’t Know What I’d Do Without It.

There Are Times When I Just Wanna Hear it.

And Then…

…There Are Times When I Simply MUST Hear It.

“Infectious” Is Such An Understated Term, Here.

This Morning…

…Or Tonight, Depending On Where You Are And Your Current State Of Consciousness…

…It Was One Of Those MUST Moments.

And Even More Specifically Than That…

…It Was A Morning/Night For…

POLICY Of TRUTH

πŸ˜€

This Is Just A Wondrous-Crackerjack Of A Jam, My Peeps.

A Wondrous-Crackerjack, Indeed.

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

It’s Honestly Hard To Pinpoint And Peg-Down A Favorite Jam From This Album.

They’re ALL Favorites.

POLICY Of TRUTH

…Is No Different.

I Love It.

It’s A Favorite, Fo SHO, Kiddies.

When You Can’t Sleep…

…Reach For Those Amazing Jams.

And THEN…

…If You’re So Inclined…

…Write About Them.

It May Not Help You Sleep…

…But It May Help You In General.

It Works For Me.

It Makes Me Feel Better.

It Makes Me Smile.

It Distracts Me From My Sleepiness.

It Distracts Me From My Pain And Agony.

It Reminds Me That There Are Other Things Out There In The World Besides What’s Going On In My Head AND My Heart.

Wondrous-Crackerjack Jams Are Not Only To Be Loved…

…They’re Also To Be Respected.

And I Respect Mine.

DO YOU?!

πŸ˜‰

“Oh Insomnia, Why Must You Love Me, Or Is It Hate Me, So SO MUCH?!?” –BRADLEY

-=BRADLEY=-

-=(aka SADLY FOREVER SLEEPLESS)=-

“…Down Below… …They Danced And Sang In The Street… …While Up Above… …The Walls Were Steaming With Heat…” –THE TRAVELING WILBURYS (“Last Night” (1988))

<>

<<>>

“…LAST NIGHT

Thinkin’ ’bout LAST NIGHT

LAST NIGHT

Think’ ’bout LAST NIGHT…”

LAST NIGHTIs Just One Of The Many Personal Favorite Jams From The 1988 AlbumTHE TRAVELING WILBURYS VOLUME 1By THE TRAVELING WILBURYS !!!

“…I Was Feelin’ No Pain

Feelin’ Good In My Brain

I Looked In Her Eyes

They Were Full Of Surprise

LAST NIGHT

Talkin’ ’bout LAST NIGHT

LAST NIGHT

Talkin’ ’bout LAST NIGHT. …”

<<<<<>>>>>

<<<<>>>>

<<<>>>

I Awoke Very VERY Early This Morning.

No Real Rhyme Nor Reason For It.

Just Another Sleepless Night.

One Would Think I’d Be Used To It By Now.

Honestly…

…I Don’t Know If Anyone Ever Gets Used To It.

BUT…

…Regardless Of Being Used To It Or Not…

…Here I Am…

…Writing About It To Y’all.

I Had This Song In My Brain Yesterday Evening.

LAST NIGHT

by THE TRAVELING WILBURYS

It Is Simply A Fun Little Tune.

There’s Nothing Really Special About It, Other Than Who It Was Performed By.

I Just Love Love LOVE Me Some…

TRAVELING WILBURYS

…Without A Doubt And Totally Fo SHO, My Peeps.

LAST NIGHT

…Is Performed By The Whole Group…

ROY ORBISON

TOM PETTY

BOB DYLAN

JEFF LYNNE

…And…

GEORGE HARRISON

…Although Most Of The Vocal Portions Are Either…

ROY Or TOM

!!! !!!

πŸ˜€

Can’t Beat That With A Stick At K-Mart, Can Ya!!?!

EXACTLY!!!

You Surely Can’t, My Peeps, You Surely Can’t.

πŸ˜‰

So, When I Awoke So Damned Early This Morning…

…I Sincerely Couldn’t Wait To Get To My MP3Player So I Could Hear This Crackerjack Of A Tune.

And Now…

…I Am.

And I Have Been.

I Have The Song On Repeat, Actually.

I Didn’t Wanna Stop Listening To It Until I Finished My Post.

Call It A Personal Form Of Quality Inspiration.

πŸ˜‰

ANYWAY…

…’Tis Nearing The Dawn, Now.

Who Needs Another Hot Cup-O-Joe?!

(*Points Lovingly At Self With Both Thumbs*)

THIS GUY!!!

πŸ˜‰

Damn Skippy, My Drippies!!!

Hopefully This Will Help Your Morning A Little Bit.

It’s Just Something That Made Me Smile…

…And I Thought It Could Do The Same For Y’all.

I Hope I Was Right!

πŸ˜€Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜‰Β Β Β Β Β Β  πŸ˜€

“…Talk Is Cheap… And Lies Are Expensive… My Wallet’s Fat… And So Is My Head…” –GREEN DAY (“Walking Contradiction” (1995))

…Hit And Run…

…And Then I’ll Hit You Again…

…I’m A Smart-Ass…

…But I’m Playing Dumb. …

*** *** *** *** ***

*** *** *** *** ***

…Standards Set…

…And Broken All The Time…

…Control The Chaos…

…Behind A Gun…

…Call It As I See It Even If…

…I Was Born Deaf, Blind And Dumb…

…Losers Winning Big On The Lottery…

…Rehab Rejects Still Sniffing Glue…

…Constant Refutation With Myself…

…I’m A Victim Of A Catch-22. …

*** *** *** *** ***

WALKING CONTRADICTIONIs Off GREEN DAY‘s 1995 AlbumINSOMNIAC

*** *** *** *** ***

…I Have No Belief…

…But I Believe…

…I’m A WALKING CONTRADICTION…

…And I Ain’t Got No Right. …

***\\//***\\//***\\//***\\//***

So, Yeah…

…I’ve Been In A…

GREEN DAY

…Mood Alllllll Morning Long.

It Got To The Point Where I Felt I Should Just Share It With Y’all.

I Was In High School When…

GREEN DAY

…Released Their Album…

INSOMNIAC

…And I Fell In Lust With It Almost Immediately.

I Already Had Their Album…

DOOKIE

…So I Was VERY Ready For…

INSOMNIAC

…Fo FLIPPIN’ Sho.

Of All The Songs ON Said Album…

WALKING CONTRADICTION

…Was My Hands-Down FAVORITE.

.Period.

In Fact…

…The Music Video For It Is ALSO One Of My Hands-Down FAVES!!!

***\\//***\\//***\\//***\\//***

ANYWAY, Kiddies…

…Y’all Please TAKE CARE…

…Try To BE GOOD…

…And Please PLAY NICE With The Other Kiddies…

…M’Kay?!

Great!!!

Hope This Made You Smile At Least A Little Bit.

It Worked For Me.

πŸ™‚

Catch Y’all On The Flip-Side, Fo Sho FO SHO!!!

πŸ˜‰

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