Holy Hell I’m Tired… …But I Want To Write.

The Days Continue To Seem Longer And Longer.

I Can’t Sleep.

I Can’t Properly Express Myself.

In Day To Day Life, My People Skills Are Failing…

…Though I Never Really Had Any To Begin With.

I Can Talk Myself A Blue Streak, But I Just Don’t Seem To Make Sense.

Nor Do I Honestly Ever, The Bulk Of The Time.

I Continue To Flounder In An Endless Circle.

I Simply Don’t Understand Myself A Lot Of The Time.

Why Must I Just Tinker And Putter With Things I Find Important?

I Want To Write.

Write Like I Used To.

Like I Liked To.

Reckless-Abandoned In Full-Force-Mode.

The Rest Be Damned, Ya Know?!

I’m Just Thinking Toooo Much.

Therefore, I Feel Like I Accomplish Very Little.

It Just Doesn’t Look Right.

It Just Doesn’t Feel Right.

When I Read Things Aloud, They Just Don’t Say What I’m Wanting It To Really Say.

Like Really REALLY Say.

SO

…I’m Going To Re-Start Something That I Used To Do Constantly.

I’m Going To Start Keeping A Journal Again.

I Feel I Must.

When You Can’t Stop Thinking, You Eventually Realize That’s No Way To Think At All, Fo SHO.

Everything Gets Muddled.

You Have To Just Put It ALL Down.

Pen To Paper.

If I Don’t…

…Well…

…Hmm…

…I Don’t Know.

So, What Do I Know?

I Do Know I’ll Never Say Everything Exactly Right.

I Do Know Most Things Lose Something With Repeats.

I Do Know STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE Is Honestly The Superior TREK Series, Though STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION Will Always Be My Favorite.

I Do Know At One Point I Wanted To Have BURT REYNOLDS Baby.

I Do Know I’m A Total Hack At Most Things In Life.

What Else Do I Know?!

In The Words Of Mr. GROUCHO MARX

“…And East Is East, And West Is West, And If You Take Cranberries And Stew Them Like Applesauce It Tastes Much More Like Prunes Than Rhubarb Does…”

Everybody Got That?!?

GOOD!!!

‘Cause I Sure As Shit Don’t!!!

I Just Want To Write.

And Now…

…As I Sit Here, Writing In The Dark…

…I’ve Just Written Myself Into Another Circle.

DAMMIT.

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“A Hospital Bed Is A Parked Taxi…”

…WITH THE METER RUNNING!

GROUCHO MARX

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Well, My Peeps…

…I Am Home Again From Ye Ole VA.

To Be Honest…

…The Appointment Went Rather Swimmingly.

The Doc And I Talked A Little Shop…

…And We Thoroughly Discussed My Issues…

…Past AND Present.

He Feels My Seizures Are Being Made More Acute And Worse By My Primary Headache Medication.

The Medication Itself Doesn’t Cause Seizures…

…BUT…

…It Does Lower The Threshold For Those Whom Already Have Seizure Disorders.

So…

…The Meds Don’t Make Them Happen…

…They Just Make Them Much Easier To Have Happen.

So…

…For Now…

…We’re Totally Nixing That Medication.

Then…

…We Tackled The Blackouts.

Those Are When I Just Drop To The Floor And Am Unconscious.

I Don’t Have The Seizure…

…But I’m Just Out-Friggin’-Cold.

By Tracking My Blood-Pressure, Pulse, etc etc Over A Lengthy Period…

…We’ve Been Able To Deduce That They Are Likely Being Caused By Acute DROPS In My Blood-Pressure.

The Drops Were Being Caused By Another Medication.

My Shrink Had Been Using A Med To Help With My Sleep Issues AND Nightmares.

The Problem Is…

…Before It Was Ever Used For Sleep And Dreams…

…It Was Used To Aid In LOWERING BLOOD-PRESSURE.

I Take The Pill.

It Starts Kicking-In About 20-Minutes Later.

I Hit The Damned Deck, Out Like A Light.

My Shrink Hadn’t Taken That Into Account When Putting Me On The Meds…

…And The VA Isn’t Very Good At Communicating Between Different Areas Of Health…

…Namely PHYSICAL And MENTAL.

So…

…There Goes Another Med.

By The Time I Left The Hospital…

…I Was In A Rather Chipper Mood.

Now I Just Have To Hope Hope HOPE The Changes Really Do HELP.

Medicine Is NOT An Exact Science…

…And There Is NO Cookie-Cutter-Answer For Everyone.

This I Know, And Know It Well.

So I Just Have To Keep The Ole Fingers Crossed That This Works.

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I Sincerely Appreciate All Of You…

…And Your Kind Words…

…During This Whole Issue.

I Shall Keep Y’all Posted On How I’m Coping With The Changes.

Like I Said…

…I’m Really Hoping These Little Tweaks In My Day-To-Day Life Will Make A Large, POSITIVE Impact.

Only Time Will Tell, I Know I Know.

I’m Just Really Really Hoping I Get All The Time Needed To Safely Say…

“YEP! GOT’ER LICKED!”

…Or Something To That Effect.

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Later On, My Peeps.

Have A Wonderful FRIDAY, Kiddies!!!

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