Feeling Brilliant; Feeling Foolish: It Really Is A Fine FINE Line To Travel Upon…

…And Of That There Can Be Little Debate.

Granted, There Are People Whom Can AND Will Debate Anything AND Everything.

To Those People, Honestly, I Say…

“More Power To Ya.”

To The Rest Of Us Whom Teeter-Totter On The Edge Of  The Before Mentioned “Feeling Brilliant” AND “Feeling Foolish” There Really Isn’t Much To Say Other Than…

“It’s Called LIFE. Deal With It. If You Don’t Get One Outcome, You’re ALMOST Assured To Get The Other. It’s Called LIFE.”

2013, Now More Than Half Over, Has Been A Year Filled With BOTH Feelings/Mindsets.

I Do Admit To Having A Few Truly Brilliant Moments, This Year.

True, They May Have Been Situations Where I Was Confident In The Outcome Ahead Of Time AND Was Thus Proved Correct.

But, Honestly, That Feels A Touch Beside The Point.

At Least, For Now. 😉

Sadly, However, 2013 Has Felt More And More AND MORE Like A Year Of Foolishness On My Part.

Family Issues.

Friend Issues.

Relationship Issues.

Personal Issues.

You Name It, Chances Are I Can Equate Whatever It Is Into Yet Another Foolish Moment For Yours Truly.

But, And I’m Curious About This In Many Respects, What Truly Is The Fine Line Between “Brilliance” And “Foolishness”???

Sadly, I Keep Coming Back To The Same One-Word Answer…

“SUCCESS”

Period.

If Something Is A Winner, Chances Are You’ll Be Overtly Contented.

You’ll Be Feeling The Wondrous Side Of A Success, Regardless Of What It Is.

You’ll Most Likely Even Feel A Flash Of “Brilliance” Wash Over You.

But…

…What If You Fail???

What If There Is No Real Success In Whatever It Is You’ve Attempted???

You’ll Be Feeling The Vile Side Of A Lost Chance At A Success…

…And Of That, I Sincerely Have No Doubts.

You Won’t Feel Any Waves Of “Brilliance” Afterward.

No, You’ll Be Feeling As I Do Most Of The Time.

You’ll Be Feeling Like A “Fool” And Feeling Listless In Wonder As To Where You Went Wrong.

I Think That’s Why I Love Baseball So Very Very Much.

It Truly Is More About Failure And Loss.

At Least, More So Than Anything Else.

Winning Is WONDERFUL!

Losing SUCKS ASS!

But, You Don’t Learn Much From Winning, Other Than The Elation Of The Actual Win.

You Do, On The Other Hand, Learn So So SO Much More From Defeat.

Now, I Know You’re All Waiting For Me To Divulge Some Of Said “Foolish” Moments, But I Don’t Really Think I Can.

Not Without Getting Myself, Or Others, In Trouble…

…With Someone…

…Somewhere…

…Be They Person, Or Entity.

Honestly, The Moment I’m Going To Briefly Mention Is A Combo Of BOTH “Brilliance” AND “Foolishness” Like You Wouldn’t Believe.

You See, My Peeps My Friends The Kiddies, I’ve Been Living Through A Self-Imposed EXILE For Almost A Month, Now.

It’s Honestly Killing Me.

I’ve Never EVER Felt So Alone In My Life.

Hell, I Spent A Couple Months In Boot-Camp, Which Was About The Loneliest Time In My Life…

…Until Now.

I Feel So Alone Because I’ve Simply Been Toooooooooooooo Damned Embarrassed To Be Around Other People.

Period.

Other Than My Immediate Family, Only ONE PERSON Has Seen Me AND Spent Time With Me While I’m In This Condition.

For Those Of You Whom Don’t Know…

…I FINALLY GOT MY ORAL SURGERY!

I Got It Last Month.

I’m Literally About Two-Weeks Away From Having A Perfect Smile, Again!

I Couldn’t Be Happier About That Part.

It’s The Waiting In-Between PHASE I And PHASE II That’s The Killer.

I Do Feel Brilliant For Finally Pulling The Trigger, Plunking Down The Money I Can’t Afford To Burn In Any Way, And Getting ALL Of My Teeth Fixed.

Trust Me, Kids, Years And Years AND YEARS Of Acid Erosion Can Be Dentally Devastating.

I’m A Living, Breathing Poster-Board For It.

Sadly, I Also Am Feeling Very VERY Foolish.

Foolish Because I Have, More Or Less, Gone Into Total Hiding.

I Don’t Go Anywhere ((save my morning walks)).

I Don’t Meet Other People.

I Stay As Totally Off The Social Grid As Possible.

I’m Sad, Yes.

I’m Lonely, Yes.

I’m Going Out Of My Mind In The Want/Need To Spend Time With Those Other People I Care Deeply For.

But, As Foolish As This Exile Has Been…

…For Me, Personally Personally, It Has Been Bordering On Brilliant.

I’ve Looked Bad In The Past…

…But I Really Don’t Want People Seeing Me At My Absolute Worst.

I’m Far Toooooo Self-Conscious For That.

So, By Adding The Pains Of Loneliness…

…Sadness…

…And Racing Thoughts…

…It Adds Up To A Bit Of The “Foolish Factor” Feeling.

BUT, By Removing The Pains Of Embarrassment…

…And Extreme Paranoia Due To The Overt Self-Conscious Issues…

…I’m Experiencing A Touch Of The Ole “Brilliance Factor” Feeling, Also.

😀

Sooooooooooooo…

…What Do You Think?

Am I Just Being Foolish??

Or, Is There Even A Hint Of Brilliance To It???

Do YOU Often Feel Like This????

--Yeah. You. In The Back. Pretending Not To Be Reading Over The Other Person's Shoulder.--

Do YOU Often Feel Like This, My Peeps?????

My Curiosity Abounds!

😀       😉       😀

“It Is A Black-Art, And I, HARU, Am The Blackest Of The Black. Or, Rather, The Great White Black-Art…Blackest…Master.” –HARU (Chris Farley in “BEVERLY HILLS NINJA” (1997))

The Nephew Wanted To Stay Up Late, So I Decided We Should Watch A Movie.

Since It Was My Idea, It Also Became My Responsibility To Select The Flick We’d Be Kickin’-Back With.

I Wanted Something That Would Make Him Laugh.

I Also Wanted Something That Was Appropriate For Staying-Up-Late And Actually Staying Awake.

My Decision Was More Like Instinct Than A Thought-Out-Reaction.

I Immediately Said…

“Holy Shit, I Know Where That Old Copy Of Beverly Hills Ninja Is!!! SWISH!!!”

And It Was Done.

Here It Is.

(((HAHAHA!!!)))

I Know, Right.

PERFECT!!!

Uncle Brad Shoots…

…Uncle Brad Hits Paydirt!!!

Huh!!?!

Well…

…Whatever You Wanna Call It.

It Went Over Great.

And Now, He’s In Bed Sleeping Away.

And I’m Awake.

Writing This.

For You.

Because I Care, And So Should You.

😉

(((teehehehe)))

😀          😀

Sleep Sweet, My Peeps.

I’m Going To Be Trying To Very Soon, I Promise.

🙂

“Only When I Cease To Breathe Will I Be Dead, Tanley!” —HARU

😀       😛       😉       🙂

A Belated Xmas Quickie That Needs To Be Shared.

My Grandparents…

((aka Maw and Paw))

…Got Me This Book For Xmas:

“THE UNTOLD CIVIL WAR: EXPLORING THE HUMAN SIDE OF WAR“

by JAMES ROBERTSON

🙂       🙂

Honestly, I Was Left Kinda Speechless.

It’s An Expensive Ought-Damned Book.

But, I Did Want It.

She (Maw) Was Worried I’d Be Disappointed With It.

But, I Love It AND Her.

You See, My Peeps, She Took Me To See The Flick…

“GETTYSBURG“

…Back During The Winter Of 1993.

Neither She, Nor I, Knew What We Were Getting Into With It.

When The 2-Hour Point Of The Flick Came And Went, She Kept Looking To Me Hoping It Was Going To Be Over Soon.

Little Did We Know We Weren’t Even Half-Way Through The Flick.

The Lights Came-Up, And She Assumed It Was Time To Head Home.

However, The Lights Only Came-Up To Signal The Intermission.

After The Intermission…

…Oh Yeah…

…Another 2+Hours Of The Flick Remained.

But, She Sat Through It.

She Sat Through All 4+Hours And Didn’t Complain About It One Bit.

Maw Knows I Love History.

She Knows I Love Documentaries.

She Knows I Love Historically Relevant Films.

She Knows I Love REAL Books.

She Knows One Of My Favorite Subjects Is The American Civil War.

So, Maw And Paw Totally Got Me The Royal Hook-Up With This Book.

I’m Already Loving It.

And, Honestly, I Likely Always Will Love It.

‘Tis An AWESOME Gift, Fo SHO, My Peeps.

And Sooooo…

…I Really Just Wanted To Say Thank You, Again, To Maw And Paw.

I Totally Appreciate How Well They Know Me…

…My Tastes…

…And Where My Personal Joy Lies In Wait.

THANK YOU!!!

😀       😀

She Was An Admirable Woman.

We Had My Aunt’s Funeral The Other Day.

I Didn’t Get To Go.

Someone Had To Stay With My Grandpa.

I Volunteered.

I Did Care About My Aunt, But Everyone Else Was Closer To Her Than I.

She Was An Admirable Woman.

She’d Led A Very Hard Life.

A Member Of “The Greatest Generation“ And Highly Proud Of It.

She Was Also The MOST Stubborn Woman I’ve Ever Known.

She Could Be Crude…

…Or Crass…

…Or Insulting.

BUT, She Was A Good Woman.

Despite Her Glaring Flaws, She Was A Good Woman.

Her Husband…

…My Uncle…

…Blew His Head Off With A Shotgun Long Before I Was Born.

She Mentioned Him Occasionally, But It Was Actually My Grandpa Who Told Me About My Uncle.

Grandpa Didn’t Keep Much From Me.

He And I Spoke Often, And On An Exceptionally Level Plain.

That’s How You Learn.

In That, He Was A Firm Believer.

So, As I’ve Said, Everyone Else Went To My Aunt’s Funeral.

I Did Not.

Will I Regret That Later In Life?

I Honestly Don’t Know.

I Just Know She Lasted Longer Than Anyone Would Have Ever Dreamed Possible.

She Was The Last Of Her Clique.

And, While She’d Led A Very Hard Life…

…She’d Made The Most Of It.

I’m Going To Miss Her Insulting Behavior.

I’m Going To Miss Her Crassness.

I’m Going To Miss Her.

As I’ve Said…

…She Was An Admirable Woman.

“One Of The Virtues Of Being Very Young…”

“…Is That You Don’t Let The Facts Get In the Way Of Your Imagination.”

—SAM LEVENSON

-{{1911–1980}}-

[[TEACHER]]

[[WRITER]]

[[JOURNALIST]]

[[COMEDIAN]]

[[TELEVISION HOST]]

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

<<<<<<<<<<This Quote Selection Is Posted Lovingly For My Nephew, Whom Will Be Coming Here TODAY To Stay For A While!>>>>>>>>>>

😀          😀         😀

It‘s Been Tooo Looong, And Can‘t Wait To Kick–It With Him!

Can Already Picture Him Waking Up At 6A.M., Finding Me Already Up, And He‘ll Say…

“It‘s Time To Play X–Box, Brad.”

And What Will Brad Say?

“You Betcha, Buster.”

Fo SHO.

😀

If Not That, He‘ll Say…

“Sure Sure, Just Let Me Fill–Up My Coffee–Cup And I‘ll Be Right There.”

Uncle Brad Is Pretty Cool Like That.

Fo SHO Fo SHO.

😉     😉

“The Happiest Moments Of My Life…”

“…Have Been The Few Which I Have Passed At Home In The Bosom Of My Family.“

—THOMAS JEFFERSON

-<{1743–1826}>-

-<{A FOUNDING FATHER}>-

-<{Our 1ST SECRETARY Of STATE}>-

-<{Our 2ND VICE-PRESIDENT}>-

-<{Our 3RD PRESIDENT Of The UNITED STATES Of AMERICA}>-

Thinking Aloud: Post-HALLOWEEN-Edition: “Ever Since My Trip To CHICAGO…

…I’ve Been Drawn-To, And Excited-By, The Film “THE GREY” Starring LIAM NEESON.”

I’ve Been Fixated Upon-It, Actually.

http://youjivinmeturkey.com/2012/10/29/not-so-random-at-all-movie-mention-joe-carnahans-the-grey-2011-starring-liam-neeson/

http://youjivinmeturkey.com/2012/10/31/once-more-into-the-fray-into-the-last-good-fight-ill-ever-know/

SEE !!!

I TOLD YA SO !!!

I’m SURE You’ve Noticed, But…

…I Really Just Can’t Help Myself.

The First Time I Saw It, I Liked It.

But, I Convinced Myself I Didn’t Like It So Much.

And Then I Watched-It A Second Time.

I Knew I Couldn’t Convince Myself To Dislike It Any Longer, So I Just Let The Greatness Of It Wash Over Me.

Then I Saw It A Third Time.

Then A Fourth.

I Just Can’t Help Myself.

To Me, It’s Like It Was After The First Time I Saw “KRULL” !!!

I Wanted To Watch It Again, And Again, AND AGAIN !!!

I Was The Same Way With A Few Other Choice-Flicks.

I Remember Doing It When “TOMBSTONE” Came Out.

I Remember Doing It When “LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL“…

(…AKA “THE PROFESSIONAL“…)

…1ST Came Out.

I Remember Doing It When “ARMY OF DARKNESS” Came Out.

There Are Other Examples, But Needless To Say It Happens To Me At Times.

“THE GREY“

…Is…

…MY…

…Latest, Personal Craze.

To ME…

“THE GREY“

…Is Now…

…SPECIAL.

So Special, In-Fact, That I Can’t Stop Thinking About It.

It’s Directly Related To Having Received It AND Had My Second Viewing Of It While In The Second City Itself…

CHICAGO

!!!

The Film Makes Me Think…

…And Reflect…

…And Think Whilst I Reflect.

“THE GREY“

…Is Now…

…MY NEW FAVORITE REMINDER !!!

😀

A Reminder Of Being In The Company Of Those I Missed Most.

A Reminder That Some Things DO Deserve A Second Chance.

A Reminder To Think How I DO Think, Not How I SHOULD Think, Or FORCE MYSELF To Think.

And…

…Of Course…

…That I LOVE ME Some LIAM NEESON !!!

Period.

That Really Sums It All Up.

Does That Work For You ???

It Sure As Hell Works For Me !!!

😉       🙂       😀

The Song Stuck In My Head (And Why): “YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT” by The ROLLING STONES (1969)

“…I Saw Her Today…

…At…

…The Reception…

…In Her Glass…

…Was…

…A Bleeding Man…

…She Was Practiced…

…At The Art…

…Of Deception…

…Well…

…I Could Tell…

…By Her…

…Blood-Stained Hands…

…(Sing It)…”

*** *** ***

The ROLLING STONES !!!

*** *** ***

“…You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

…You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

…You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

…But If You Try Sometimes…

…You Just Might Find…

…You Just Might Find…

…You Get What You Need. …”

“YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT” Is Off Of The 1969 Album “LET IT BLEED” By The ROLLING STONES !!!

*** *** *** *** ***

*** *** ***

***

Oddly, My Peeps…

…I Wasn’t Even Listening To This Song…

“YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT“

by The ROLLING STONES

…When It Became Stuck In My Head.

I Was Actually Thinking About Family And Friends.

I Was Thinking About How Some Are True Gems…

…Not To Be Traded For Anyone, Nor Anything.

And I Was Thinking About How Some Treat Me As If I’d Traded Them Away Years Ago And They Came Back Into The Fold Embittered And Royally Pissed-Off.

Honestly…

…It’s VERY Hard For Me To Make Friends…

…And Family Associations Are Just As Difficult.

I’m A Very Trusting Individual When It Comes To Those Whom I’ve Known Longest…

…And Perhaps Too Trusting With Those I Haven’t Known So Long.

I Try Hard To Give Everyone A Fair-Shake…

…Knowing That Doing So Is The Only Real Way To Evaluate A Relationship.

If You Can’t Trust The Person…

…It’s VERY VERY Hard To Maintain The Relationship.

All I Ever Ask Is That My Friends Let Me Know They’re Still Alive…

…Especially When It Has Been A While Since Our Last Contact…

…And…

…DON’T IGNORE ME!

Some Of My Peeps Stay Very Busy…

…Either With Work, Or Their Families, Or Whatever.

That’s Just Life, So It’s No Worries.

BUT…

…When I Know For A Fact They Have Nothing Going On, Nor Will Have Anything Happening Anytime Soon…

…And I Get Blatantly Ignored By Them…

…I Tend To Get Rather Pissy.

However…

…As One Friend Reminded Me Last Night…

…Life’s Too Short To Be Constantly Pissy In Regard To That Simple Failing.

I Kept Thinking And Thinking And Thinking About That, All Night Long.

Then I Said To Myself…

"Well... Can't Always Get What We Want, Right?!"

…And That Was All It Took.

I Then Spent The Bulk Of Last Night Humming And Singing…

“YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT“

…To Myself.

I Even Went To Bed Thinking About It.

When I Awoke This Morning…

…The Song Was Still Rollin’ Around In My Brain.

So I Decided To Listen To It.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Yeah…

…THREE (3) TIMES.

Back-To-Back-To-Back.

And Then…

…In Sitting Down At My Computer To Check The Email…

…I Quickly Decided I Wanted To Blog About This.

I Love This Song.

It’s My 2ND Favorite Song, Period, By…

The ROLLING STONES

…And It’s A True Classic-Among-Classics.

It Has The Power To Make Me Smile…

…And I Find That Comforting.

I Hate It Hate It HATE IT When I Get Pissy With Family And Friends.

Mainly Because I Know I Shouldn’t.

Everyone Has A Life To Live, And I Can’t Expect To Be Part Of It All.

But, It’s VERY Hard For Me To Just Shut-Up And Take Anything…

…Regardless Of What The Anything May Be.

Being Ignored, To Me, Is Worse Than Any Physical Pain One Might Try To Inflict Upon Me.

It Always Has Been.

Perhaps That’s Just My ADHD Bleeding Through…

…But I Can’t Help It.

Yet…

…All It Took To Calm Me Down And Lift My Spirits…

…Was The Words Of A Friend…

…And A Wonderfully AMAZING Song!

I Find That VERY Fitting.

Wouldn’t You?!

SURE YOU WOULD!!!

😀       😉       😀

First Off, My Peeps…

…I Wanted To Say I’m Sorry.

I’m Sorry That All I’m Really Putting Out Are Quotations.

That’s Mainly Because My Young Nephew Is Home (Here) For The Next Month Or So.

He Brings The Spark Back In Everyone.

I Know For A Fact That, Even Though He Boarders On Genius (in comparison to other 9yo), He Also Has Zero Attention Span, Just Like His Dear Uncle Brad.

I Was Born With, And Later Was Diagnosed With, ADD In 1984.

It Changed A Tad, And By The Time I Was 10yo, Said Diagnosis Became Being Called ADHD.

And It Does Worry Me Some About My Nephew.

I Don’t Want Him Being Me.

I Don’t Want Him To Go Through All The Shit I’ve Gone Through.

Period.

I Don’t Want Him To End-Up Being Told He’s Crazy By A Bundle Of Doctors Who Don’t Honestly Know A Thing About The Psychology Of Any Human, Let Alone A 9yo Boy.

He’s Special, By Far AND Fo Sho.

He Just Needs Special Attention AND Understanding.

Lucky For Myself…

…I Have All The Time AND Patience Needed To Help Him.

So…

…My Peeps…

…Please Excuse My Lack Of Posting As Much As I Should Be.

It’s Simply Been Much More Difficult To Find The Time.

Don’t Get Me Wrong…

…I LOVE MY BLOG…

…But…

…I Easily LOVE MY NEPHEW Even More-So.

And If There’s Going To Be Any Reason At All For Me To Slack A Bit On This Thing…

…He’s Said Reason.

I’m Gearing Up To Go On A Walk…

…And He’ll Be Awake And Ready For Uncle Brad To Play LEGOs By The Time I Return.

Please PLEASE Take Care Of Yourself, Kiddies.

I Promise To Work On This More As Time Will Allow.

For Now…

…For Right Now…

…Just Accept My Sincere Apologies In This Particular Matter.

I’ll Be Back In Full Swing In A Day Or Two, I’m Sure.

Until Then…

…

\\