The Morning After… …Still Not Great… …But A Few Shades Better.

I Didn’t Get Much Sleep Last Night/This Morning.

Kept Waking-Up.

Was Restless.

But I DID Get A Bit Of Rest…

…And That’s Good Enough, For Now.

Things Could Always Be Worse, Fo SHO…

…So I’m Not Gonna Bitch About It.

I Will Say That My Good Ole 20/20 Hindsight Is Working Overtime.

I’m Still Stuck Thinking About Yesterday Night.

Thinking About What I Could Have Done…

…What I Should Have Done…

…And How I Won’t Let It Happen That Way Again.

We Learn From Our Mistakes…

…And We Carry-On.

Such Is Life.

No One Ever Said Living Life Would Be Easy.

In Fact…

…I Know Of No One Who Could/Would Ever Say That.

Life’s A Tricky Bitch Sometimes.

That’s A BIG FO SHO, My Peeps.

And It’s Something We’re Pretty-Much All Aware Of.

I Still Wish I Had That Damned “DO OVER” Button.

Yesterday Would Have Been Vastly Different If I Had Another Crack-At-It.

Vastly VASTLY Different.

BUT…

…REGARDLESS Of HOW It Went Down…

…I Still Applaud My Efforts.

I Tried Very Hard Because I Love My Friends…

…I Missed My Friends…

…And I Wanted To Be With My Friends.

Poor Health AND An Adverse-Reaction To A Medication Totally Ruined Any Potential At Having A Normal, Fun Evening.

BUT BUT…

…I Just Wasn’t Going To Miss The Opportunity To See Someone Face-To-Face.

Face-To-Face Is Very Important To Me.

Mainly Because It’s Something Very VERY Rare For Me.

I’d Apologize For My State Of Being ’til I Was Blue In The Face…

…But I’m Not Sure I Need To.

My Friends Know How Sorry I Was For The Whole “Disaster” Of The Situation.

They Know Me.

They Get Me.

They Understand Me.

They Know I Just Wanted To Be With Them.

And I Still Do.

After Last Night, I’d Like To See Everyone Again When I’m Totally Over This Goddamn Medication Issue.

I’ll Be Back To Being Me Very Soon, I Hope.

I’m Never Sure That Being Me Is The Best State To Be In…

…But It’s Better Than How I Felt Last Night.

So, This Becomes One Instance Where I’m Very Anxious To Become Myself Again.

I May Have Many Issues With Myself, Sure Sure…

…But I’m Much Better Company When I’m ME.

That’s Kinda Sad, Because I’m Rarely Good Company.

But I Try Hard.

And Occasionally Succeed.

Next Time I Get The Chance To Spend Time With Those I Care About…

…I’m Hoping They Get ME ME To Spend The Time With.

That Would Be Sweet-Ass, Fo SHO, Kiddies.

Fo SHO, Indeed.

😉

😀

A Disaster I Wish I Could Forget… …But That’ll Never Happen.

I Tried.

I Really REALLY Tried.

I Should Have Just Told My Friends I Couldn’t Make It.

But I Didn’t.

I Tried To Make It Work.

And I Failed.

I Failed Horridly.

I Felt Bad Before I Failed.

Now…

…It’s Over And Done With And Just Needs To Be Forgotten…

…And That’s Simply Impossible.

Being Ill Is One Thing.

Being Ill In Front Of A Bunch Of People…

…People That Just Judge Judge Judge Me…

…With Those Darting, Piercing Eyes…

…Made Me Feel Amazingly Awful.

It Was My Fault, Though.

I Could Have Called It Off.

I Could Have Relented And Said…

"Sorry, I Can't Quite Make It, Tonight."

I Could Have…

…But Didn’t.

I Pressed Onward.

I Went For It.

All Because I Wanted To See Someone.

But I Believe I Made A Tragic Mistake.

I Just Shouldn’t Have Gone.

I Wasn’t Right, And I Knew It.

Sheesh.

The Things Lonely People Do When They Get A Chance To Spend Time With Others They Care About.

Others That Get Them.

Others That Understand Them.

Others That Know How Hard It Was For Me To Even Show-Up.

It Was Just A Bad Night.

The Stars Weren’t Aligned Correctly, Or Something.

I Have No Freakin’ Clue.

But I Did Try.

I Gave It A Go.

I Tried To Make It Work.

In The End…

…It Didn’t Work At All.

I Just Want To Apologize.

And I Want To Keep Apologizing.

I’m Sorry.

And I’m Sorry I’m Being So Sorry.

Where’s That Damned “DO OVER” Button I Requested?!

It’s Probably Misaligned, Too.

Like Those Damned “PHASE INDUCERS” That Keep Going-Out On Me!

But I’ll Be Better.

I Won’t Always Feel So Sorry.

I Won’t Always Have To Feel Sorry About Being So Sorry.

I’ll Be Better.

And Then…

…Hmm…

…Then I’ll Likely Get Stuck In Reflection Mode.

Everyone Else Will Get Over The Sorry Shit.

But I Won’t.

I’ll Be Better, But I Won’t Be Able To Let Go Of What Happened Before I Was Better.

I’ll Think.

I’ll Ponder.

I’ll Reflect.

And Then I’ll Be Sorry All Over Again.

Shit Perpetuates Itself.

That’s A Sad Fact Of Life For A Lot Of Us, I Know.

Hell, Maybe All Of Us.

I Could Tell I Wasn’t The Only One Having A Bad Night.

I Just Kept Worrying That I Was The Cause.

I Might Have Been, I Don’t Know.

But I Know I Was An Integral Component.

But I’ll Be Better.

Next Week Will Be Better.

Hell, Hopefully It’ll Be Better Before Next Week.

I’d Take Better At Any Time It So Chooses To Grace Me With Attention.

It’ll Happen.

It Always Does, Eventually.

I Just Have To Remember To Relish In It When It Does Come.

It’ll Happen.

And I’ll Be Better.

And That’s A Promise.

And I’ll Do Everything In My Power To Keep Said Promise.

The Disaster Has Ended.

Time To Pick-Up And Carry-On.

 That’s What You’d Do, Right?!?

RIGHT!!!

:3