Random (Halloween’ish) Movie Mention: “TALES FROM THE CRYPT Presents: DEMON KNIGHT” (1994)

TALES FROM THE CRYPT

…Was/Is An All-Time Favorite Television Series Of Mine.

If You Don’t Know, It Used To Air New/Original Episodes On The HBO Network.

So When I’d Heard They Were Releasing A Big-Screen Adventure, I Was VERY Ready To Give It A Go.

I Was 14-Years-Old.

I’d Been A Huge Fan Of All Things Horror For About…

…Oh…

…Maybe Seven (7) Years, At That Point.

I’d Been Watching Horror (In Secret) For So Long By 1994…

…I Sincerely Can’t Be Sure How Long It Had Been Going On.

I Was Addicted To A Programing Setup Called…

USA: UP-ALL-NIGHT

…On The USA Network.

Anyone Remember That Stuff?

Anyone?!

(*counts hands*)

COOL!

More Of Y’all Than I’d Expected!!

That’s GREAT!!!

Okay, YES…

…The USA Network Was AWESOME Back-In-The-Day.

Ms. RHONDA Used To Host It…

…And They Would Feature All-Sorts Of Horror Flicks.

Yeah, They Were Edited For Some Of The Most Extreme Content…

…But They Still Showed A Lot Of Stuff One Might Not Have Expected.

I Saw The “FRIDAY THE 13TH” Flicks For The First Time Thanks To The USA Network!

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ANYWAY…

…Sorry Was Drifting From The Point…

…But YES…

…I’ve Been A Horror/Thriller Geeky-Fanboy For A Very VERY Long Time.

OKAY…

…So In 1994, The Film…

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Presents: DEMON KNIGHT

…Was Released!!!

It Stars…

BILLY ZANE

WILLIAM SADLER

JADA PINKETT-SMITH

CCH POUNDER

THOMAS HADEN CHURCH

…And An Assorted Selection Of “D-LIST” Celebrities.

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The Gist Of The Flick Is…

…There’s A Strange Drifter Named “BRAYKER” (WILLIAM SADLER), And He’s On The Run.

He’s Attempting To Evade “THE COLLECTOR” (BILLY ZANE).

So…

…”BRAYKER” Finds His Way To A Run-Down Boarding-House To Hold-Up And Catch His Breath.

This Said Boarding-House Is Inhabited By An Odd Motley-Misha-Mash Of Other Really Strange People.

“BRAYKER” Knows He Can’t Run Forever, And “THE COLLECTOR” Eventually Makes His Way To This Boarding-House.

You See…

…”BRAYKER” Is In Possession Of A Key.

It’s The Last Of SEVEN (7) Keys.

The Said SEVEN (7) Keys Are Religious Artifacts That Protect Humanity From The Forces Of EVIL!

And Now You Know What “THE COLLECTOR” Is Truly After.

It’s Not “BRAYKER” He Really Wants…

…It’s The KEY!

When The Forces Of GOOD And EVIL Collide Here In Our Boarding-House…

…WHOA…

…We’re Talking PRIMO-HORROR-DELIGHT!!!

So What’s Gonna Happen?!

?!?!?

Now You Kids Know Good-And-Hell-Well I’m Not Gonna Tell You!!

It Would SPOIL THE FUN, And I Simply HATE Spoilers!!

If You’re Curious…

…Why Don’t You Just Check-It-Out!!!

Go Ahead, I’ll Wait Right Here.

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YES, My Peeps…

…I’m Not Joking When I Say This…

…I Truly Truly DO Enjoy Watching This Flick.

Period.

The Peeps At “TALES FROM THE CRYPT” Sure Did Make It A Damn Fun Flick, Fo SHO!!!

This Flick Also Has A KILLER Of A Soundtrack, Featuring Songs From…

PANTERA

MEGADETH

ROLLINS BAND

MINISTRY

…And MORE!!!

Is This One I’d Recommend To Y’all?!

Well…

…If You Have A Stout Stomach…

…Then YES!!

(*teehehehe*)

It’s Pretty Damned Cool, Actually.

It Has A Nifty Melding Of HORROR And DARK-COMEDY That Could Potentially Delight You.

I Know It Did So For Me!

So Give This One A GO, Kiddies!

I Think You’ll Have Fun!

I Know I Did!

I Know Everyone I’ve Discussed This Flick With Did.

So The Odds Are In YOUR Favor!!!

How Often Does THAT Happen, My Peeps?!

EXACTLY!!

No Bloody Often Enough!!

I Do Hope You Enjoy This Little…

DEADTIME STORY

…As The “CRYPT KEEPER” Would Say!!!

(*MMMUHAHAHAHAHAHA!*)

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A “What’s On Now?” DOUBLE SHOT: “CRITTERS” (1986) Followed By “CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE” (1988)

Well…

…Here They Are…

CRITTERS (1986)

AND

CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE (1988)

TWO Of The BEST

…So Far As MAN EATING ALIEN FLICKS Of The ’80s Go.

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Okay…

…Wow…

…This One Is Proving More Difficult To Write, Simply Because It’s So…

Fun/Funny/Cheesy/Scary/Campy/Wonderful

Not At All An Easy Task To Tackle Sometimes.

Hmm.

Well…

…How’s About A Double-Shot-Name-Drop???

M’Kay.

1ST

DEE WALLACE (STONE)

!!!

2ND

BILLY ZANE

!!!

Both Are Personal Faves, Actually.

In Fact…

…My Best Friend…

…Used To Make Jokes…

…Always In Regard To Myself…

…And My Loving Of…

BILLY ZANE

!?!

Yeah.

Sometimes, It Was Funny…

…And We’d Both Get A Giggle.

Sometimes, It Pissed-Me-Off…

…Which In Turn Made HIM Laugh MORE.

Eventually…

…I Came To Expect It.

And THAT Made Me Laugh So SO MUCH.

Now…

…Every Time I See The Name…

BILLY ZANE

…In A Cast/Credit ANYWHERE…

…I Tend To Say…

THANK GOD SOMEONE GAVE HIM ANOTHER JOB! GO BILLY ZANE!

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As For…

DEE WALLACE

…She’s Just One Of Those OLE CLASSIC FAVES.

The Woman Was Priceless In So SO MANY Flicks Upon My Shelf…

…Seeing Her Name CONTINUES To Make Me Smile Smile SMILE!

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Alright…

…One More Double-Shot-Name-Drop???

TERRENCE MANN

!!!

…And…

SCOTT GRIMES

!!!

Yeah…

…Then…

…I Just Toss The Name…

M. EMMET WALSH

…Out There For Y’All…

…And BAAM…

…We’ve Got Us Some QUALITY STARS…

…For OUR…

Fun/Funny/Cheesy/Scary/Campy/Wonderful

“MAN EATING ALIEN FLICKS Of The ’80s”

!!! !!!

Want Just A LITTLE MORE?!?!?

?!?!?

How’z ’bout THESE POSTERS!!!

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However…

…This Is What I Remember MOST About…

CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE

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PRICELESS!!!

(The MEMORIES... Not The VHS TAPE... Though The VHS TAPE Could Be Worth SOMETHING... SOMEDAY... To... SOMEONE?... MAYBE?!?!?)
(The Conjoining Of The Critters To Make The Giant Mega-Critter-Ball Is The Memory That Stands-Out Most!)

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