/\
//\\
*** ***
“I Hold On So Nervously…
…To Me And My Drink…
…I Wish It Was Cooling Me. …”
…
“…But, So Far Has Not Been Good…
…It‘s Been Shitty…
…And, I Feel Awkward As I Should. …”
…
“…This Club Has Got To Be…
…The Most Pretentious Thing…
…Since I Thought You And Me. …”
…
“…Well, I Am Imagining…
…A Dark Lit Place…
…Or, Your Place…
…Or, My Place. …”
…
“…Well, I‘m Not Paralyzed…
…But, I Seem To Be Struck By You…
…I Want To Make You Move…
…Because, You‘re Standing Still…
…If Your Body Matches What Your Eyes Can Do…
…You‘ll Probably Move Right Through Me On My Way To You! …”
…
*** ***
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So…
…Why Is This Song…
“PARALYZER“
by FINGER ELEVEN
…Making Me Smile So Much, This Morning???
Welllll…
…I Was Invited To Go Out, Last Night.
I Was Invited To Go Out, To Meet-Up At The Local Dance-Club/Bar Place Thingy To Have A Few Drinks, And To Mingle With The Crowd.
Sadly, That’s Why I Had To Turn Down The Offer.
I Wanted To Go Out.
I Really Did.
In Fact, I’ll Admit I Really REALLY Wanted To Go.
So Much So, In Fact, I Originally Said I WOULD Go.
But, Then I Started Thinking About The Large Crowd And That Meager Club.
And, Well, I Slowly Started To FREAK-OUT.
😦
I Simply Can’t Handle It, Anymore.
I Mean, I Can Handle Cramped Spaces.
That’s Not My Issue.
As I’ve Told You Before, I Once Spent Three (3) Days In Solitary Confinement During My Navy Days.
So, No, It’s Not The Small Spaces I Can’t Handle.
It’s The Large Amount Of People In The Close-Quarters That I Can’t Handle.
The Last Time I Was Inside That Club, I Had A Panic-Attack.
There Were Just So Many People.
I Felt Like I, Literally, Could Not Breathe.
I Ended-Up Tearing-Ass Out Of That Place So Fast It Was Frightening.
I’ve Never Been Back Inside That Club.
Not Once.
So…
…Why Am I Smiling?!?
I’m Smiling, Because The Guy In The Song Could EASILY Be ME.
He’s Having A Shitty Time.
He Doesn’t Really Want To Be There.
He Feels Awkward.
Later On In The Song, He Says…
…
“…I Hold Out For One More Drink…
…Before I Think…
…I‘m Looking Too Desperately. …”
…
Let Me Just Say Right Now, I Know EXACTLY How He Feels.
This Song Makes Me Smile So Much, Because I Can Totally Put Myself In His Place AND I Can Totally Understand Where He’s Coming From.
I’ll Also Admit I’m A Touch Disappointed In Myself For NOT Going Out To Spend Time With My Friend.
I Had The Chance To Show Him He’s More Important Than My Personal Issues…
…And, I Totally Blew That One Out My Ass.
I Know He Won’t Hold It Against Me, As He Already Knows My Feelings Toward The Bar Scene.
But, I Also Know He’s (probably) A Little Disappointed In Me.
That’s Totally MY BAD, My Peeps, I Know.
BUT, I’m Pretty Damned Decent At Making-Up For My Disappointments.
What Can I Say, I’ve Had A LOT Of Practice In That Field.
And, As A Final Admission, I’ll Tell You That My Friend Is VERY Attractive.
STRIKINGLY Attractive…
…Just Like The Other Person Being Talked About In The Song.
Strikingly Attractive People
+
Alcohol
+
Bradley
???
Nah.
That NEVER Works-Out Tooo Well.
So Many Reasons To Stay Home…
…Just Like The Guy In The Song Wanted To Do…
…And, Therefore, So Many Reasons To Be Smiling About This Song…
FINGER ELEVEN‘s
“PARALYZER“
…This Morning.
I Think I’ll Just Settle For A Lunch Date.
Somewhere Uncrowded.
Somewhere Quite.
Somewhere I Can Have An Actual Conversation With The Other Person WITHOUT The Shitty Dance-Club-Soundtrack In The Background.
Sound Better To You???
GREAT!!!
Sounds Better To ME, Also!!!
😀 😉 😀
I feel you. I bartended on and off for 20 years, and I am OVER it! Lunch sounds good, and so do you. I am smiling after reading this, because it’s a sure shot of optimism! 🙂
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Yeah, For Having A Downer Sunday Evening Of Being Alone, I Awoke In A Pretty Decent Mood, Today. I’m Just Hoping It Lasts Me Long Enough To Get Through Lunch hehehe 😉
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The Mood Did Make It To Lunch, btw. Except Lunch Didn’t Happen, Either 😦 Such Is Life, As They Say.
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Bradley—what I write now, is to me as much as you. Lunch CAN happen–just believe in the strength of love. For yourself, for your special someone, for the world. If you are on this higher frequency, most likely good things will happen. Keep the faith. You’re doing great. Getting to know who YOU are, is as important to any ultimate relationship, because then you’ll know better what is best for you–and that will ultimately be better for you and that special someone, too. 🙂 (don’t mean to lecture…us both!! But I hope I listen!) I am pulling for us!! 🙂 <<but I mean heart.
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I Hope We Listen, Also.
Thank You For Your Kindness AND Your Caring So Much, Dear.
I Appreciate BOTH To No End, Fo SHO. 🙂
-B.
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