Understanding Being “Picked Last”: A Retrospective

Do You Have ANY Idea What It’s Like ALWAYS Being Last?


I’m Talkin’ Dead Last.

Even The Portly Kid With Asthma Gets Picked Ahead Of You.

And You Really Wanted To Play.

He Didn’t.

Why Did You Want To Play, You Ask?!



You Were A Scrapper.

You’d Dive For The Ball.

You Knew How To Score.

But None Of That Mattered.

All Because You’re Just “Odd”ish.


It Was Like That, My Peeps.

No One Was Ever Sure What To Expect…

…So They Chose The…

Maybe If We Ignore Him He’ll Go Away


It Never Worked.

You Always Hung-Around.

So You Were Simply Last.

And You Hated It.

You Seethed At It.

Why Me, You Ask?

Why Not The Heavy Kid Who Couldn’t Run?

Why Wasn’t He The One They Said “Nah, We Can’t Use Him” About???

It Bugged The Shit Out Of You.

Every Time.

Never Failed.

In Youth Basketball…

…You Only Ever Got To Play At The Ends Of The 2ND Quarter…

…And The 4TH Quarter.


So You Could Foul The Other Team’s Players.

I’m F-In Serious, Kiddies.

Your Job Was To Foul.

And Did You Ever FOUL!

You Fouled-Out Of (almost) EVERY GAME YOU EVER PLAYED IN In Youth Basketball.

In Youth Baseball…


…In “T-Ball”…

…You Were…

…The Team’s Catcher.

The Most Useless Job On The Field In “T-Ball” Is The Catcher.

Even With That Slighting…

…You Seethed.

You Were Just 7-Years-Old…

…And Were Already Angry About This Whole…

…This Always Being Last, Thing.

It Hung-On You Like A Goddamn Raincloud.

It Was Always There.

At The Roller-Rink…

…When They’d Do The “Girls Pick Boys” Skate…

…You Always Ended-Up Skating With The Teacher/Guardian/Supervisor Lady.


Because You Wouldn’t Get Picked At All.

Not Because You’re Bad Looking…

…Nor Did You Smell Funny…

…But Because They Knew You.

And You Scared Them, Somehow.

It’s Weird, My Peeps.

But You Were Forced Into Hermithood Way Back When…

…And It’s Just Become You, Anymore.

I Know This Sounds Like A Disconnected Ramble.

But It’s Where My Head Went Tonight.

I Don’t Know Why

But It Did.

There Was No Trigger That I Can Remember…

…Nothing To Draw-Upon In Finding An Answer.

It’s Weird.

I’ve Just Had That On My Mind.

Perhaps Maybe Talking To Y’all About It Will Do Some Good?

Ya Think?!


Maybe Works.


It Just Sucks Always Feeling Like The 5TH Wheel

On A Motorcycle.

Think About That One For A Second.

Not For Too Long.

The Statement Loses Its Bite When You Think About It Tooo Long, Or Tooo Hard.


But It’s True.

They Say “Nice Guys Finish Last” But That’s Totally An Untrue Statement.

“Nice Guys” Finish 2ND Or 3RD Or Something Closer To The Top, Though Not The Tip Tip Tippy Top.

So Who Does “Finish Last” You Ask?

It’s The Strange Kid.

The One That Puzzles Everyone Else.


So What Happens To Said Strange Kid In The Future?


He Becomes A Blogger

…And He Lives (almost but not quite) Happily Ever After.


4 responses to “Understanding Being “Picked Last”: A Retrospective

  1. This struck me as kinda sad Brad (hope its okay if I call you by your name) I work at an elementary school and we have some kids who march to their own drum…I encourage them to play with other kids and the kids to include them, but most of the time it falls on deaf ears..my only rule is: if one plays – we all play…I assist with a Get Fit class and to alleviate the who I want on my team debate – the instructor just lines them up on the fence and says you are on team 1, you are team 2, 1, 2 until they all have a spot! I thought that was a super smart move on her part!


    • You Can Call Me By Any Name You Wish, Just Don’t Call Me “Late-For-Supper” πŸ˜‰
      And YES, That Is A Super Smart Move.
      Wish I’d Had Teachers Coming Up With Ideas Like That When I Was In Public School hehehe


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