A Disaster I Wish I Could Forget… …But That’ll Never Happen.

I Tried.

I Really REALLY Tried.

I Should Have Just Told My Friends I Couldn’t Make It.

But I Didn’t.

I Tried To Make It Work.

And I Failed.

I Failed Horridly.

I Felt Bad Before I Failed.

Now…

…It’s Over And Done With And Just Needs To Be Forgotten…

…And That’s Simply Impossible.

Being Ill Is One Thing.

Being Ill In Front Of A Bunch Of People…

…People That Just Judge Judge Judge Me…

…With Those Darting, Piercing Eyes…

…Made Me Feel Amazingly Awful.

It Was My Fault, Though.

I Could Have Called It Off.

I Could Have Relented And Said…

"Sorry, I Can't Quite Make It, Tonight."

I Could Have…

…But Didn’t.

I Pressed Onward.

I Went For It.

All Because I Wanted To See Someone.

But I Believe I Made A Tragic Mistake.

I Just Shouldn’t Have Gone.

I Wasn’t Right, And I Knew It.

Sheesh.

The Things Lonely People Do When They Get A Chance To Spend Time With Others They Care About.

Others That Get Them.

Others That Understand Them.

Others That Know How Hard It Was For Me To Even Show-Up.

It Was Just A Bad Night.

The Stars Weren’t Aligned Correctly, Or Something.

I Have No Freakin’ Clue.

But I Did Try.

I Gave It A Go.

I Tried To Make It Work.

In The End…

…It Didn’t Work At All.

I Just Want To Apologize.

And I Want To Keep Apologizing.

I’m Sorry.

And I’m Sorry I’m Being So Sorry.

Where’s That Damned “DO OVER” Button I Requested?!

It’s Probably Misaligned, Too.

Like Those Damned “PHASE INDUCERS” That Keep Going-Out On Me!

But I’ll Be Better.

I Won’t Always Feel So Sorry.

I Won’t Always Have To Feel Sorry About Being So Sorry.

I’ll Be Better.

And Then…

…Hmm…

…Then I’ll Likely Get Stuck In Reflection Mode.

Everyone Else Will Get Over The Sorry Shit.

But I Won’t.

I’ll Be Better, But I Won’t Be Able To Let Go Of What Happened Before I Was Better.

I’ll Think.

I’ll Ponder.

I’ll Reflect.

And Then I’ll Be Sorry All Over Again.

Shit Perpetuates Itself.

That’s A Sad Fact Of Life For A Lot Of Us, I Know.

Hell, Maybe All Of Us.

I Could Tell I Wasn’t The Only One Having A Bad Night.

I Just Kept Worrying That I Was The Cause.

I Might Have Been, I Don’t Know.

But I Know I Was An Integral Component.

But I’ll Be Better.

Next Week Will Be Better.

Hell, Hopefully It’ll Be Better Before Next Week.

I’d Take Better At Any Time It So Chooses To Grace Me With Attention.

It’ll Happen.

It Always Does, Eventually.

I Just Have To Remember To Relish In It When It Does Come.

It’ll Happen.

And I’ll Be Better.

And That’s A Promise.

And I’ll Do Everything In My Power To Keep Said Promise.

The Disaster Has Ended.

Time To Pick-Up And Carry-On.

 That’s What You’d Do, Right?!?

RIGHT!!!

:3