Can My Life Be Summed Up By A Quotation From THOMAS EDISON?!

YOU BE THE JUDGE…

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I Have NOT Failed

I’ve Just Found 10,000 Ways That Won’t Work.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Granted…

…He Was (likely) Talking About Light-Bulbs…

…But It FEELS Rather Fitting, Doesn’t It?!

How’z’bout You, My Peeps?!

Does That Quote Just Totally Sum Things Up?!

It Sure As Hell Does For Me…

…And I’m Pretty Sure A LOT Of Y’all Would (likely) Agree With Me.

*** *** ***

I Continue Struggling With This Whole “Positive Outlook” Thing.

In Fact, I Think It’s Hurting Me.

I’m Honestly Not Wired For Positive Feelings.

I Try To Let Them Come Out When I Write, And I Think I Do A Good Job At That.

HOWEVER…

…The World Does Not Totally Exist In Print.

This Is Simply My Sanctuary.

It’s The Place I Go When Something Needs To Be Expressed.

WHY?!

Because Doing So In The Physical World Simply Doesn’t Work-Out.

I’m Trying, Kids.

I’m Really Trying.

I’m Really REEEEALLY Trying.

But It’s A Rough Slog, And I’m Unsure If I Can Keep-It-Up.

My Sleepless Nights Are Seriously Catching-Up With Me.

I’m Slipping Back Into Being My Normal Self.

My Normal Self That FEELS Like ME.

It’s Everyone Else That’s A Bit Dodgy Of It.

I Can’t Help That I’m Rather Cold…

…Rather Cerebral…

…Rather Blank-Slated.

Emotion Isn’t Something I’m Good At.

It’s Hard To Express Feelings In Person When They’re Feelings I’ve Rarely Experienced.

Over The Phone, It’s Easy To Fake A Positive Feeling.

The Other Person Can’t See That My Expression Hasn’t Changed.

They Just Hear What I Want Them To Hear, And That’s That.

I’m Just Not Sure What To Think.

I Need A Night Where I Actually Get Like 6+Hours Of Really Really REAL Sleep.

I’d Do Almost Anything If I Knew How To Make That Happen.

At Times Like This, I Used To Drink Myself To Sleep.

It Was A Bad Way To Get Much Needed Rest…

…But It DID Work…

…Sometimes.

I Simply Can’t Justify The Drinking These Days.

I’ve Gone Long Enough Without Re-Opening That Festering Wound…

…So I Think I’ll Let That Sleeping Dog Lie.

I’ve Had A Couple Beverages While Out-&-About With Company…

…But Won’t Be Doing So Again.

Two (2) Drinks…

…That’s It…

…Just Two…

…And I Had A Screaming Headache Straight From Hell’s Half-Acre.

It Was Awful.

What’s The Old Saying…

"Every Ounce Of Pleasure Must Be Purchased With An Equal Amount Of Pain"

…Or Something To That Effect?!

Yeah.

It’s HIGHLY TRUE…

…And…

…HIGHLY APPLICABLE To What I’m Talking About.

So What Am I Left To Do?!

I’m Just Not Sure.

I Feel Muddled.

My Mind Is Fried.

My Body Is Exhausted.

My “Positive Outlook” Is Fading.

Like That Wasn’t Expected?!

You Know It Was.

I Knew It Wasn’t Something I Could Make Last.

I Suppose I’ll Have To Settle For The Positive Moments.

I’ll Let You Know When I Find One.

It’s Most Likely Living In The Freezer…

…And Is Called “Mr. Ice-Cream Sammich, Esq.”!!!

See…

…Got My Moment Right There!!

I Wonder What Painful Experience I’ll Have To Weather Because Of It?!

Other Than The 9-Grams Of Fat Per-Serving, Of Course.

😉

9 responses to “Can My Life Be Summed Up By A Quotation From THOMAS EDISON?!

  1. Oh Bradley honey you make my heart hurt. I wish there was something I could do to ease your mind. Make it slow. Help you sleep. You are on my mind all the time. I wish for peace for you. I wish for sleep for you. I wish for happiness for you. If I was there I’d rub your forehead and say I care even if your expression never changed and you were indifferent to my care. Love you my sweet friend. I really do.

    Like

    • I May Struggle In Showing It, But You Are Loved Plenty, Ms. Renee. I Appreciate You Very Much So. You’re An Exceptional Friend, And I’m Very Lucky To Have You.
      Don’t Change, Okie Dokie?! 😉
      -BRAD

      Like

      • I’ll never change honey. I love ya kiddo. You’re a good one. You have your struggles and that’s okay. We all do. Your’s are just more difficult than others. It’s lot to do with how we were brought up. It effects us. Makes us hard or soft. Whatever the case may be. I believe in connection. I believe I was meant to find you and love you like my own. It’s what I do. I’m lucky to have you too. Love you my sweetheart.

        Like

  2. Brad, let me ask you which is more noble–a dude who was born to run who can do a sprint in record time or a guy with a lame leg who runs that fucker the best he can? It’s hard as hell to smile when you feel bad.

    Brad, I really admire you for TRYING to change your mood. I believe you when you say you’re not used to being that way, and so it’s harder for you. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, and I really do believe it’s the attempt that is magnificent (I saw a great quote about that recently. Check this out: http://youjivinmeturkey.com/2012/09/14/when-the-great-scorer-comes-to-write-against-your-name/).

    I am hard-wired to be happy. I don’t know why that is, but I’m grateful. But at the same time, it requires no great effort, no great resolve for me to feel positively. As a consequence, in those times when I am in pain or those rare instances when I’m in a sour mood, I can really appreciate those people who struggle through life like that.

    Brad, this may not mean much, but I hope you believe it when I say that your struggle is beautiful. Your refusal to submit to your circumstances, to make excuses for your infirmity, to be satisfied with your state is what makes you a man. Your commitment to transcending your biological chains is an awesome thing to behold. It will never end, Brad–none of us will reach that finish line, but if you keep running the way you do, you’ll have NOTHING to be ashamed of when the race is done.

    Keep on keepin’ on, friend.

    Like

    • Keepin’ On And On Is What I Do Best.
      And Thank You, Dude.
      You’re Very Astute. And I’m Very VERY Glad To Know You, RK.
      You’ve Been A Breath Of Fresh Air For Me.
      You’re Keeping Me Grounded, And That’s A Great Thing.
      You’ve Been A Very Good Friend To Me, And I Appreciate It Much More Than I Can Express…
      …Literally. 😉
      Again, Thank You, Dude.
      -B.

      Like

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