“Those Are My Principles. And If You Don’t Like Them…”

WellI Have Others.

GROUCHO MARX

Upon Awaking This Morning, I Knew Something Was Very VERY Wrong.

Once Again…

…I Was On The Floor.

To Be More Precise…

…I Was FACE DOWN On The Floor.

My Bedroom Light Was Still On.

My Computer Was Still On.

My Eye-Glasses Were A Few Feet Away From Me.

And When I Lifted Myself Up Off The Floor…

…I Noticed My Arms Had The Pattern Of The Floor Embedded On Them…

…As Did My Face, Upon Further Investigation.

 YES…

…It Had Happened Yet Again.

I’d Had Yet ANOTHER SEIZURE.

😦

I Can’t Begin To Tell You How Scary This Is For Me.

That’s The FIFTH (5TH) Seizure I’ve Had In 2012.

From The Day Of My Birth…

…Until The End Of 2011…

…I’d Had A Grand Total Of THREE (3) Seizures.

Beginning January 2ND Of 2012…

…Through Today, May 2ND of 2012…

…I’ve Had FIVE (5) Seizures.

As I Sit Here Typing This…

…I’m An Odd Combination Of Bewildered…

…And Truly FREAKED-OUT!

Both Stem From The Fact That I Have ZERO Answers As To WHY I Have These Damned Things.

All They Really Seem To Do Well For Me Is They Continue To Keep Me A Hermit.

I’m Afraid To Go Out Into The World, Never Knowing When A Seizure May Strike.

I Don’t Drive Very Often.

I Don’t Go See Family Nor Friends Very Often…

…As I’m Sincerely Afraid It’ll Happen In Front Of Them.

On Two Occasions, When I’ve Had A Seizure With People Around…

…Said People Called Am AMBULANCE For Me.

One Of Those Two Times…

…The Ambulance Took Me To The WRONG Hospital.

The Second Of Those Times…

…I Came Out Of My Seizure Just As They Were Debating On Taking Me To The Hospital.

I Quickly And BLUNTLY Refused Them, And Sent Them On Their Way.

All I Can Really Say, My Peeps…

…Is That I Feel Totally HELPLESS.

And, For Those Of You Of Know Me Well Enough…

…You Also Know There’s NOTHING That Makes Me Feel Worse Than Feeling HELPLESS.

😦

I’m A Control Freak.

I Like Everything To Be Just So.

Ya Know?!?

Everything In My Order.

Everything Where I Can Find It, And Where My Educated Answer Is THE Answer.

But This Is One Realm Of Life Where I Appear To Have ZERO Control.

And It’s Driving Me Mad.

I Feel As Though I Am At The Mercy Of These Blasted Seizures.

They Strike Whenever They Please…

…Without Any Warning…

…No Preceding Symptoms…

…No NOTHING.

I Go From Being Perfectly Alright…

…To Being Totally Unconscious On The Goddamn Floor.

I’m Confused.

I’m Worried.

I’m Scared.

I See The Doctor Friday Afternoon.

I Just Have The Terrible Feeling He Won’t Have Any Real Answers For Me.

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Thank You, My Peeps.

Thank You For Putting Up With Me.

Thank You For Reading Long With Me.

I Promise Promise To Keep Y’all Informed As To What The Doctor Says And Such.

I Appreciate You ALL, And Hope To Continue Bloggin’ing With Everyone When I Can.

Take Care.

Be Good.

Play Nice.

Stay Safe.

My Love To Y’all!

BRAD