There’s Something On My Mind, And I’m Unsure How To Convey It Other Than Just Like This.
I’m 30’ish’ish Years Old…
…And I’ve Been Hearing Terms Like…
…”Schizo”…
…”ADD”…
…”ADHD”…
…”Manic-Depressive”…
…”Insomniac”…
…”Sexy”…
…”Dashing”…
…”Maybe?”…
…”Sexy’ish”…
…”Insane”…
…”Insanely-Sexy”…
…”Insanely-Sexy’ish”…
…”Y2K”…
…”Lasers?”…
…”Volvo?”…
…etc…
…etc…
…etc.
… … … … … … …
So It Goes Without Saying…
…”PLUH”!!!
(SIDE NOTE: That's An "Inside Joke". You Know Who You Are. ;-|)
… … … … … … …
So YEAH…
…I’ve Been Stuck Knowing My “Wiring Isn’t Quite Right” For A LENGTHY Time-Interval.
I’ve Always Been, As I’ve Mentioned In A Prior-Bloggin’ing, One Who Struggles With The “Normal/Everyday-Things” In Life.
When Someone Gives Me An Exercise In “Creative Thinking”…
…I Succeed.
When Someone Says…
…”Just Pay Attention And Do It Like I Do It”…
…Yeah…
…I’m A Horrid EPIC-FAIL.
Over…
…And…
…Over…
…And…
…Over Again.
My Mind Doesn’t Wrap Around The Concepts Of Assimilation.
Period.
I Get It.
I Understand It.
I Can Tell You I’ll TRY To Conform.
It’s Just The Chances Of That Actually Happening…
…Ain’t Tooooo Goood.
I Do Try.
I TRY TRY TRY Like A BEYOTCH!!!
I Promise.
I PROMISE PROMISE.
It Just Doesn’t Happen.
My Mind Refuses To Allow It.
And NO, It’s Not “Me” That’s Being “The Bastard” Here.
Nope.
It’s “ME ME”…
…And “ME ME” Is A “HARDCORE BASTARD” Fo SHO.
He Has His Own Mind…
…So To Speak.
(SIDE NOTE: ;-P hehehehe)
So I Leave Him Be.
He Is “Kind.”
He Is “Sweet.”
He Is “Loving.”
He Is “Caring.”
He Is “Intelligent.”
He Is “Cold.”
He Is “Ruthless.”
Yet He Is ALSO “Passionate.”
… … … … … … …
So You See My Point.
No Middle Ground.
I’m Either “ALL-Heart”…
…Or…
…I’m “Viscous’ishly-Heartless.”
So No One EVER Knows What They’re Getting With Me.
Some Are “Excited” By That Fact.
Some Are “Terrified” By It.
Some Are Lost In A “Perpetual-State Of Concern.”
… … … … … … …
And Then There’s “Me.”
I’m A “Pretty-Good-Guy” At Times.
At Other Times…
…I’m An “Even-Better-Guy”…
…With “Flashen’ings Of Greatness”…
…And “Flashen’ings Of Pure-Insanity”…
…To Carry Me Through.
The Problem Is…
…The Latter “Flashen’ings”…
…”Have The High Ground.”
BUT…
…I’m Starting To “Surprise” Myself…
…With Just How Well I Can “Cope” With Myself.
(SIDE NOTE: Read "Surprise" As "SURPRISE!" And Read "Cope" As "Cope'ish" If You'd Prefer.)
I’m Learning Something So SO SOOO IMPORTANT…
…All-Over-Again.
Sometimes…
…You Really Do Have To Just…
“TURN IT ALL OFF.”
PERIOD.
"You Jivin' Me, Turkey?" 