22 | October | 2011 | "You Jivin' Me, Turkey?"

Pieces Of An Article By Jeff Passan…

With his uneven, unkempt beard, and a fastball that would break the speed limit in all 50 states AND on the Autobahn, Cardinals right-hander Jason Motte plays the role of stereotypical closer awfully well. There’s just one difference between him and the rest of the late-game lockdown artists in baseball.

Motte Can’t See Where He’s Throwing! ! !

He’s not blind, exactly, but the 29-year-old’s nearsightedness is bad enough that he often squints on the mound because he can’t see catcher Yadier Molina’s fingers, which indicate the pitch Motte is supposed to throw. Afternoon games at St. Louis’ Busch Stadium, with their perilous shadows, are particularly difficult. Sometimes Motte will wave his glove up and down, asking Molina to hold his fingers lower – and, in the process, exposing the sign to the opposing dugout.

“I don’t know what my vision is,” Motte said, “but I can promise I’m not Ted Williams.”

Williams, the Hall of Famer, was famous for his 20/10 eyesight. Motte may be 20/100, 20/1000, 20/1 million. He doesn’t know, and no longer does he care. Ever since an eye doctor in 2009 told Motte he needed some sort of vision correction, he has tried to fix his eyes – and to no avail.

Dude, Would YOU Feel Safe In The Box With A Pitcher On The Mound Who Throws Fast-FASTBALLS, Yet Doesn't Have A Clue Where They're Going??? ME TOOOOOOOOO!